Post # 1
I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. I know he has bought an engagement ring (I helped pick it out) and is planning on proposing soon. He treats me really well and we have the same values and similar views on what we want our future to look like. For the most part, our relationship is great, but occasionally I have these moments where I panic and doubt whether or not we should be together. One thing that makes me question my feelings for him is that when we talk on the phone I often look at stuff on my computer at the same time and don’t really listen to him.
How can I tell whether or not I really am in love with him?
Post # 3
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
If you have to ask how to know if you’re in love after only 1.5 years… I don’t think you are. At that point it should be an overwheming sensation. Sorry :/
Post # 4
If we had to judge our relationships or how much we love someone by what we do while on the phone with him…
I poop while on the phone with my husband sometimes. Does that mean I love him less? No, not really. I’ve got shit to do.
I wash dishes and lean up cat barf while talking to my parents, sometimes I even completely ignore them if I’m sorting things.
If you have to ask if you’re in love with someone, you either don’t know what love is, or you aren’t.
There isn’t any advice for you. No one can tell you what love is and if you’re in it except you. If you can willingly see yourself breaking up with him and moving on to start a relationship with someone else, this probably isn’t the relationship for you.
Post # 5
@misslavendar: Are you just not a “phone person”? I don’t really like being on the phone, and will easily get bored if my SO, my mom, or anyone else who calls me doesn’t have something specific to say. I tend to mess around on my computer when I’m bored by a call that is going on past my level of phone-smalltalk-tolerance.
However, if you find your boyfriend boring in other situations (when you’re hanging out at home… or staring at each other across a dining table… does the conversation often drag?), then that might be a red flag. Maybe you need to work on practcing deeper, more fulfilling conversation? Or, maybe the right chemistry just isn’t there anymore?
If you’re truly bored by him, then I don’t think he’s the one for you – even if the relationship looks great “on paper” (same values, goals, etc).
Post # 6
You have control over what you’re doing when you’re on the phone with him. If it bothers you, don’t do it. If you think it’s disrespectful, then it probably is.
We all get distracted when we’re on the phone with someone, or in a conversation with someone. Is it intentional? Usually, no. At least for me it’s not. The trick is to realize when you’re ignoring someone and whether or not it’s important to you not to do that.
If this is what your biggest worry is, and you’re wondering if you should still be with him, then I think you know the answer.