Having my wedding atfer 5 years

posted 3 years ago in Reception
Post # 2
Member
357 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

You are already married and had your wedding. You can’t get married again to the same person (unless you’re now divorced)

I doubt a church would do a fake wedding. 

You can certainly renew your vows and have a party for that, though. As long as you aren’t lying to guests, pretending you’re not married, etc, it’s perfectly fine.

Post # 3
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2014

i agree with the previous poster, you are already married so you cant have another wedding, but a KICK ASS vow renewal/re-commitment ceremony and party? sure!

just think twice about using the “wedding” word, especially if people know that you are already married.

 

Post # 4
Member
878 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

Have an amazing vow renewel at your church! Cake, dress, the whole nine yards! Just say that you are celebrating your commitment and renewing your vows, not “getting married” 

Post # 5
Member
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Taintedbeauty:  This is called getting “weddinged”! And I think it’s awesome! Check Offbeat Bride, they have SO much info about it. Everyone who keeps telling you that you can’t have a wedding is- no offense bees- wrong. You can. There’s a tactful way to do it and that’s where Offbeat Bride comes in. 

Also, if you never got married in a church, they prob don’t consider you religiously married (married by the religion’s standards), so you could still have your religious marriage. And even if it wasn’t like that, I am sure the priest/pastor/minister would be willing to work with you to figure it out. 

My parents renewed their vows on their 25th anniversary, but it was also their Jewish wedding (they had a secular wedding originally, and 10 years ago my mom converted to Judaism, so then they wanted to have an officially Jewish wedding). Our rabbi was happy to create a unique ceremony for them that was their religious wedding/vow renewal. 

So excited for you!!!

Post # 6
Member
5199 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

Totally agree with others that you should go for it and have the party!  I personally don’t really care what you call it – although I think people might be a little confused if you do call it a wedding. Some other options would be vow renewal, commitment ceremony, religious wedding, or even belated wedding (ha ha!).

Your church may want to do a modified ceremony, but unless they are super rigid I don’t see why they wouldn’t be interested in doing some sort of blessing ceremony for your union. After all, you have not been married in the church yet, so I think some churches would actually consider this a wedding, not a vow renewal. 

As for what guests will think of it – I would hope they’ll just be happy to be invited!  Who doesn’t like going to parties? 

Post # 7
Member
5199 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

nawella:  oh my god, I love “getting weddinged”!  That’s awesome! 

Got to be honest, it makes me crazy how some people act like the wedding police. On the one hansake appreciate that different people have different opinions but I think a lot of people have a pretty inflexible idea of what a wedding ceremony is, which doesn’t necessarily match with today’s flexible attitudes towards relationships and families.

Post # 8
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

cbgg:  nawella:  There is no such thing as “getting weddinged.”  It’s yet another made up thing to make women feel like they are entitled to their pretty princess day.  

 

OP, if you are interested in having a vow renewal ceremony, that is certainly understandable.  And given that this occasion doesn’t call for a huge white gown or tuxes, that should help you stay within your budget.  A huge party with your friends and family sounds like an awesome time.  

 

Discuss with your pastor whether or not the church will be able to accomodate the vow renewal.  Having your after-party in the church hall is up to you, but there may be restrictions, etc. on what you’re able to have as far as food/drink/entertainment.  No matter where you hold the party or the renewal, you’ll need to devise your budget and work from there.  Good luck, and have fun planning!

Post # 9
Member
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

You can’t have a wedding if you’re married. You can’t. Nope. Nada. Zilch. Zip. No. I will not be changing this opinion no matter how many times someone posts this on this site. Your only option at this point is to have a fake wedding, but your actual wedding was the one you had 5 years ago.

If you live in a culture that has two separate ceremonies, that’s fine. If for some reason you get the paperwork done a few weeks before your wedding, that’s fine as well. If you want a get-together with family to celebrate your marriage, and it does not include walking down the aisle, that’s fine. If you want a vow renewal (as much as I find that to be an oxymoron), then I won’t think negatively about it as long as there’s been a separation or a major illness or other major event.

The term “getting weddinged” is ridiculous. Whoever came up with that has some brain cells missing.

Wedding police out.

Post # 10
Member
4043 posts
Honey bee

MsW-to-MrsM: Ugh, regardless of your opinion (which you are entitled to), it’s a great thing that this a free country and you don’t get to decide what the OP does! Not going to waste my time trying to change your mind because quite frankly, it doesn’t matter. You wouldn’t do this, but it doesn’t mean others can’t.

Taintedbeauty:  OP, you can have a vow renewal (that in all honesty can look very similar to a weddig) and celebrate with family. If you want to have a white dress, go for it! If you want to walk up the aisle, dance down the aisle, do back flips or whatever, it’s your right to do so (people make look at you weird if you do anything other than walk–but you can still do it). Even if there hasn’t been a separation, illness or major life event, you can have a celebration any time you like. It’s your money, your life, your choice.

Some will judge, like MsW-to-MrsM, but hey, you are never going to please everyone. Those who love and support you will come, and that’s all that matters.  

Post # 11
Member
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Christmas Tree Farm

MsW-to-MrsM:  I could not agree with you more.

Post # 12
Member
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

bmo88:  I think of it this way: Would you re-stage your graduation from college years after you have the diploma? There’s no logic in it. It doesn’t compute. It makes no sense to me. I have to wonder what the motivation for something like this is, and I can’t come up with anything good.

Post # 13
Member
84 posts
Worker bee

You can do whatever the hell you want, so long as you live in a free country. You can call it whatever the hell you want– a wedding, a vow renewal, a weddinged or whatever. If someone doesn’t like it, so what? So long as your church allows it (I don’t see a problem here, since you weren’t married in a church the first time around), go all out. People have parties for the craziest shit (I’m looking at you, gender reveal parties), so who gives a damn what you call it so long as you want it and can afford it.

Post # 14
Member
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Taintedbeauty:  As far as I am concerned, the Catholic church does not recognise other marriage than the one made after God, so (at least if you are catholic, and I think this is the same if you are christian) YES, you can get married in Church, as it will count as your first marriage (since, again, the Church does not recognise courtroom marriages)

Post # 15
Member
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

skinnypinkmartini: It’s not all Christians. I do not know of any Protestant churches with that view.

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