(Closed) having one of my best friends there… or having a honeymoon

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1988 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

This is a hard one.  I think the major issue is that she does not want to accept your money/charity.  I understand that you doing want her there but she will feel guilty because she will know that she is the reason that you are not having a honeymoon. 

I think that you should discuss it with her further.

Post # 4
1755 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I think it’s incredibly sweet of him and I’m very sorry about your friend πŸ™

If it were me, I’d make up a special box of wedding mementos with lots of pics for her and mail it after the wedding and I’d go on the honeymoon.  I’ve got several friends who won’t be able to make my wedding so I’m planning to take non-perishable favors and items from the Out of Town bags along with photos to include them even though they won’t be there.  I’d hate not having a friend, but a honeymoon is really special too. 

Post # 5
611 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@accorn: I agree… this is really tough. I think that, as much as she would love to be there, she would probably have a hard time accepting your generosity, knowing that you guys would have to sacrifice the honeymoon. If I were your friend, I would love you for offering but I would not want you to do it.

Post # 6
204 posts
Helper bee

This is really tough.

Would it be an option for you guys to buy her tickets so that she can be at the wedding, but then still take the time off work and have a “staycation” honeymoon?  I know that’s not as going somewhere for your honeymoon, but if having her there is really important to you and your Fiance, that might be a compromise to consider.

If it turns out that she won’t be there, I really like @Cappugcino:‘s idea of sending her favors and pictures.

Post # 7
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think for your situation , you guys NEED a honeymoon lol. It can be a really important bonding time, and really can set the tone for the marriage.

Like the other ladies said, it is a very tough situation! Our friends are so special to us and we want the best. I had some friends who couldn’t make it and we have videos, albums and such for them so it was just like they were there with us.

Ultimately, its up to you and the future hubby!

Post # 8
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Does she live near somewhere you would like to honeymoon? Maybe you could fly to her for your honeymoon and go out to dinner, show her pictures from the wedding, etc. I think if it was me, I would pick the honeymoon and hope somehow she figures it out. Also, I wonder if it’s just the cost of the flight for her or the whole wedding process (dress, lodging, etc.). Maybe if she paid the ticket and she could stay with you and wear something she already had it wouldn’t be so expensive.

Post # 10
14498 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

If I were your best friend I would feel aweful if you didn’t get a honeymoon because of me.  No, for me, it would be most important that you got all the wedding moments every bride should get.  If you can find a way to skype her in, then great, but you should take that money and do something, even if it is just a day or two.

Post # 11
368 posts
Helper bee

I know it means the world to have her there but you guys need a honeymoon. I would find someone to set up a live web cam, and she could watch your wedding! I know it’s not the same but it is inexpensive, and she can still feel apart of it.

Post # 12
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

That is really sweet that her friendship means so much to you but I do think the honeymoon is the best choice. It will be hard not being there but your honeymoon is something that you will remember forever, something to tell the grandkids about, the saddness of not having your friend there probably won’t carry with you through your lifetime. But hoping your friend finds a way to make it!

Post # 13
688 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

This is a tough call! Personally I would do the honeymoon, I think it’s important to have that after you get married.

Do you think maybe you might recoup some of the costs in gifts? That way you can do both?

Post # 14
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Well, Fiance and I won’t have any honeymoon since we’re just poor, so as a bride if I had the option I’d want my friend there over any honeymoon.

However, if it were my friend’s wedding, I would not want to accept money that would prevent her from taking a honeymoon, I would feel awful and would force them to just take their honeymoon and see me later.

So in the end, no one can make this decision for you, it’s a tough choice. It sounds like you have a great friend who loves you either way πŸ™‚

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