Having ridiculous fears about my SO :(

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
6440 posts
Bee Keeper

Did something happen to someone you know recently? I often think about how and when we die and leave each other, but I also see a lot of death and tragedy as part of my work. To balance it out, I think we just need to keep moving forward and let that stuff just happen when it’s meant to be. If we spend too much time worrying, we miss opportunities for all the good things in life.

Post # 4
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

It might not be a bad idea to go and talk to someone about this, in case your worry and fears got to the point where they would begin to spiral out of control and affect other areas of your life. Plus, it’s not pleasant to live that way, you’re not even getting to enjoy life because you’re spending so much time worrying about what if you weren’t able to enjoy life. <br /><br />Or if you want to try self-help first this website has helpful handouts and worksheets:<br /><br />http://www.anxietybc.com/anxiety-PDF-documents


I have had this problem personally. For me it was triggered by seeing it happen to someone I know. For myself it helped to relax each day (my anxiety manifests in physical symptoms – increased heart rate, sleep disturbances, stomach aches, etc.). I choose to relax through deep diaphragmatic breathing for about 20 minutes a day. Once I got really good at deep breathing to calm by body down (it took practice) I was able to use the skills whenever I felt worried. I am now able to just do a few deep breathes will focusing on breathing through my belly and I completely calm down. 

Post # 5
555 posts
Busy bee

HippyBunniesinLove:  boy does this ever happen to me! 

Honestly, I first noticed my anxiety about a year into my FI and my relationship. It was as if I knew he wouldn’t leave me by choice so the only other way I was afraid he would leave me is if something bad would happen to him.

He drives a lot for work and does a dangerous job which doesnt help, but he’s really great about calming my nerves (always texting me when he makes it to work after he’s traveled quite a distance!) 

I’ve actually had two panic attacks, one where I couldn’t breath and one when my one side went numb mimicking a heart attack because of this fear, something I was never afraid of before! 

I find myself in the same family situation too, I can’t imagine what I would do if my FI wasn’t around.

I have no real advice for you because this is something I face too, but just know you aren’t alone! I think we just are thinking the worst, not in our SO because we know they wouldn’t leave us  by choice, but in life! But try and think positive thoughts 🙂

Post # 6
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2025

HippyBunniesinLove:  I know how you feel! When I was 10, I woke up one day, walked over to my parents’ room and said “Mom, I just realized you’re going to die one day, and I’ll be alone.” And I bawled my eyeballs out (and called in sick for school). 

Fast forward to now, sometimes I get that gut wrenching feeling that my SO will pass away in the future, and it makes me want to love and share with him even more! Practicing kindness and patience every day so I won’t look back and wish I had done something differently.

Post # 7
2679 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I feel this way sometimes too. I try not to dwell on it, you never know how you will cope with something until it happens, and hopefully you will never have to deal with it!

Post # 8
213 posts
Helper bee

I worry about me or my husband dying regularly. I have OCD and this is one of my “ticks”. I am constantly worried about one of us being diagnosed with a diesease or dying in a car crash. My DH texts me every morning when he gets to work so that I don’t worry about him on the roads anymore. 


I wouldn’t say this is normal to worry about. You may want to seek counselling. I have been in therapy before for my OCD and it helps. 

Post # 9
783 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Yep I feel this way too sometimes. I just try distract myself and stop my brain from going on with the thoughts when it happens. I think it’s harder when you might not have as many other people to lean on as you worry more when your life revolves around one person. Maybe try some meditation next time it happens. Hugs 

Post # 10
4878 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

ITA about seeing someone about your anxiety.  It’s terrible to suffer like that when you could be treated with therapy & possibly meds, if appropriate.

I have GAD, severe along with panic disorder & it’s no way to live.  Fortunately, meds really help as has therapy.

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