- 3 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013 - B&B
So I don’t think I have ever been a “good” sleeper. I mean in some ways I can fall asleep anytime anywhere I need to, but for nighttime and an actual full night’s sleep… ugh.
I don’t know that I very often have a truly good nights sleep, ever since I was a teen. Some times its really not so bad, but my most common issues are that I have very vivid dreams at night and I wake up multiple times a night. I think my full REM cycle gets interrupted. If there’s a base line thats waking, your sleep is supposed to be like a wavelength, but always staying below the waking line…. and you go in and out of your cycles through the night. Me, I hit that bottom of the wave with the dreaming and then I pop right up and out of the sleep, so above the waking line. Then I have to try it all all over again. And when I get to 4, 5, or 6 am… forget it. I am not even going to get back to sleep, im pretty much just dozing thinking about how time is counting down to when I need to wake up. Ugh.
The past several weeks have been realllly bad. I also sometimes have “anxiety” dreams. The funny thing is, during my waking hours I don’t feel THAT stressed. The potential biggest stressor I have is my job, but I LOVE my job. That doesn’t mean I don’t worry sometimes about how to get stuff done or things that aren’t going on, but I am so happy to be where I am and doing what I am doing.
Sometimes its like this:
I wake up at 2 am. Brain: “Hey! Hey you! So… you know the electric bill?”
me, half asleep: “uh, yeah. Its due in three days. I am paying it tomorrow, its Monday.”
Brain: “OK! Cool. But.. yeah just don’t forget.”
me: “Yeah, I won’t… but its 2 am so there’s nothing I can do and I can pay it tomorrow.”
Brain: “well, yeah I know but lets think about it for a minute….”
me: “No, its time for bed.”
Brain: “yeah, yeah sure…… ELECTRIC BILL!!!!!” wtf. That’s just one example, and sometimes its multiple things. Its like my mind just wants to spin around and around on things that I KNOW I am either handling or that honestly, I just need to not worry about until the morning!
But in waking hours I am pretty organized, I handle things calmly, I am just not a “freak out” kind of person. So its odd…. Any bees struggle with sleeping? Did you see a doctor? What tips do you have?