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... I don't really have much advice there, other than to say that it is NOT crazy you're making test cakes and casseroles! I'm making test rolls tonight because I've never made these before and they have to be JUST right. It's my grandmothers recipe and I would be devastated if I couldn't do it properly. We're not even engaged and yet I'm spending Thanksgiving over there. I'm nervous!
You should focus on you and your FI...he CHOSE you. I have learned that I won't make the IL's happy when I'm myself and I won't make them happy when I change to suit them (which, BTW, I do not advise doing!) so BE YOURSELF 100%!! Your FI obviously likes YOU the way you are and not everyone in the world is going to like you and you won't like everyone in the world and it's okay. But they should still treat you with respect and your FI should demand nothing less from them. Treat them the way you want to be treated. You want to be acknowledged when you walk in the door and they don't do it to you, acknowledge them first. Kill them with kindness if you can...I don't do that so well because I'm not an actress at all. "Hey FIL" and go give him a big ol' bear hug. I struggle with this myself and these are things that our counselor has said to try.
Oh and there's nothing wrong with testing food!
i hope it goes well!! and i do think they should be extra kind to you. i think the best way to handle it is just to be your lovely self and show up with goodies and offer to help with things....they wont be able to resist you ;-) like pendola said, kill them with kindness!!!
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I am extremely nervous about meeting up with and having Thanksgiving Day with my FIL. Things did not start out well between us. I dated my fiance' for over 2 years without even meeting them because they thought "I was not right for their son". I met them once at my fiance's college graduation, and his mother seldom spoke to me. His dad is great, but still does not think I am "the one" for his son. Since we have gotten engaged, they have not spoken to me once. They have not called to welcome me to the family at all. I would think that this would only happen when the son is the only child, but my fiance' is the oldest of nine kids. My FH thinks that this will all pass over.
I am freaking out over what to do. I want to be myself, but these people have got me going crazy! I'm planning on bringing a side dish and a dessert to the meal, so I am even doing practice cakes and cassaroles! How crazy am I? I am a teacher, so my colleagues do not mind when I bring in free food for them to taste and I am getting some great tips.
I'm also stressed out about this, because it is the first Thanksgiving without my mother. She lost a 9 year fight to brain cancer in March. I don't want any pity from my FIL, but I think I should expect a little kindness no matter what has happened.
Please give me some advice as to what I should focus on this Thanksgiving at my FILs place while still being myself.