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My FI and I were on the same page about the budget- and that is what lead our talk (only in reverse) to get me to trim the list. I would try it from a "Price per head" stand point and see if it helps at all.
I think it's important to talk about what type of feeling you want at your wedding along with a budget your trying to stay within. Lots' of men, no matter what their age, have no concept of what weddings cost. Are you paying for the wedding or are your parents? Have htey given you a budget? Most of your budget will go towards food and photography, so the food (and drink) is a big $$$ factor. Start making a list of only the essential people and see what that comes to and go from there.
Figure out how many your venue can handle and then give him a piece of paper, a pen, and the number of guests he can invite. It might help if you do a numbered page in word for him and let him know not to forget to list each guest individually and not as a couple, so you have the correct number.
Oh yeah. It might help for him to see average cost of weddings in your area:
We're paying for the wedding ourselves on a $10k budget. Guest list has already been written, and addresses asked for. Now we're having the sticker shock of what it really costs us to invite these people and he doesn't seem to think its a big deal...
I would let him know that if he wants that guest list you need to save on other things. I'm on a 10k budget and because I want everything "Just So" (Type A personality) we're only inviting 60 people.
Also if you do a budget breakdown for every line item it helps really showcase allllll the expenses. Google Docs has a good one with lots of line items that men typically don't think of.
It's really stressful doing the back-and-forth initially with the guest list. He was against inviting all of these family friends we needed to, but eventually got it. I attribute it to me being raised in the South and him being raised in Germany. There're less politics around weddings there. :p (That's a lot of "there" for one sentence)
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How did you have the guest list talk with you FI? We're struggling with this convo. He wants to invite everyone he knows... me, not so much.