Weddingbee boards

I have a year and a half old german shepherd.  He is seriously the MOST amazing dog.  It is not a decision we've come to lightly, so if you disagree with rehoming, please don't jump on me, I'm just looking for support.

FI and I decided to find him a new home.  It's not because we're too busy planning a wedding, or because we don't want him.  We live in an apartment, and while when we got him we were planning for a move, it's not happening.  He's starting to act out because he needs more room to run and play, and despite walks and trips to the dog park, he's not getting enough.

I found a woman who I think would be good for him, I've spent quite a bit of time talking to her, checked her vet references, and she seems okay.  We're going on Sunday to look at her house and have Quil meet her dogs, and see how they get along.  But, if everything works out, he'll live with her on SUNDAY.

And really, I'm not handling it.  I keep having nightmares.  It's making me sick to my stomach.  It's been making my cry a lot.  I mean, I know it's a sad thing, but I don't know if it's just because I know it's coming that it's messing me up so bad, and once it happens I can start to heal?  In all honesty, it feels like giving away a member of my family.  It doesn't make sense, really, but I'm worried that Quil will think we didn't love him, and he won't understand.  I am TERRIFED that all will be well with this woman, and I'll leave him with her, and I'll have to watch him watch us go, crying how he normally does when he thinks we've forgotten him.

FI is less upset than I am, he says that he's sad Quil won't live with us, but he's happy because he thinks that Quil will be happy.  I'm not there yet.  And I can't seem to get a handle on it.

I respect your choice. Large breed dogs have special needs and for busy couples without much space (apartments/city living/etc) especially when they are young. It is really hard to make it work. I think that in the end the dog will be better off being with other dogs and having a bit more room.

As far as being upset it is going to be really tough esp the first couple of weeks afterward. But time will help and hopefully going to this persons home will give you peace about the choice you are making.

Let us know how it goes.

There's none in our complex, no.  And all of their sister properties look exactly the same, to the point where it's a little creepy.  We don't live in the nicest ones, it's enough for us, and it's only $400.00 a month, so we've been saving like crazy.  Our lease isn't up until September, and I'm not sure he'll make it that long.  He's starting to show behaviors that he never had before, and our vet says it's because he's bored.  I already take him on three one and half hour walks a day, and to the dog park twice a week.  I just don't know what else to do for him, and he's such a good dog, I don't want him to turn into a bad one because I couldn't give him everything he needed.  If we could afford to break the lease we would (it's something exhorbitant like 2500 and then rent every month until they rent the place) but due to a situation with FI's job, we don't even know what state our new place would need to be in.  We still don't, could be OH, AZ, or IA.

No, but God that would be awesome.  You know, we take him to the Petsmart Pet Hotel, and he's always happy to go there.  He prances.  He wags his tail and licks the employees there.  But he's always, always happy to see me when I come to get him.  What if he spends the time wondering when I'm coming back?

FI says I'm not being rational about it, that dogs are adaptable, and soon, he'll forget all about us, because he'll be so happy in his new home.  But how can I believe he'll forget about us when he brings me his toys when I'm crying, or when he meets new people poking his head between my legs, or when he's scared, he leans on me so heavily there's no doubt he's doing it on purpose?

I want to ask her if she can send pictures now and again, but I don't know if that's appropriate?  I guess she can always say no, but I at least want to know he's doing well.

I already told her that if she takes him, and changes her mind, to please, PLEASE give him back to me rather than dumping him somewhere or on someone else, or god forbid take him to a shelter.

She said she would, but all I can do is take the words at face value.

And, lastly, FI wants a kitten.  Yes, a kitten is more of an apartment pet, but I keep telling him that I DO NOT want another pet, at least not now.  I don't want a replacement, and I'm hurting too badly to really enjoy another animal baby stage.  I know he thinks that it will distract me, and make me feel better, but, like, I was working on my Save the Dates yesterday, and Quil walked over and put his head on my knee and sighed and I burst into tears.  Yeah, it's like that.

Here he is, by the way.  Please excuse the unmade bed, I don't normally let him sit there, but he did, and when I asked him if he was bad, he turned his head like that and it was just too freaking cute.

I seriously teared up reading this.  What a tough decision!  I think that your FI has the right attitude in believing that Quil will be happier in his new home.  Try to keep that in mind as well, and know that it's okay if it takes time to truly believe that on your own.

No, no, he's not destructive at all.  He's just...pushy.  He has never had an accident in the house.  He's never destroyed anything that wasn't his.  (His beds and toys he goes through like all get out).  He doesn't even touch my shoes.  He's starting to play a lot rougher, to the point where he bites on accident, and it is clear that it's an accident, but it's happening more and more often.  I'm not afraid to leave him alone in the house, but he runs through here, chasing the cat, and hits his head on the doorways.  He trips over the tables.  He used to nap for a LONG time after walks, but as he's gotten older, it doesn't even make him sit down anymore.  He comes home, drinks, and is bounding around the house again.  That's where I start to feel like we're not being fair, to him, I mean, I spent almost 5 hours a day walking my dog, and it still doesn't look like enough.

Short of spending all day long letting him run at the dog park, (he can't go to doggy daycare, he's not neutered) is there a way to let him get enough exercise while I live in this apartment?

Oh please try to make it work... theres no way i could give up my baby.. (im a new puppy mother) I would walk him a million times.. awww sep is not that far

it doesn't sound like he needs more exercise...it sounds like he needs a job. german sheperds are herding dogs and needs to deal with that by through training and tricks since it seems the only bodies he can herd are the two of you and your cat. also, if you were to get him neutered, it would really mellow out his energy as well and could prevent cancer.

but if your mind is set, i do respect your choice. i've been a foster parent for many parrots and it's so hard to see them come and go, but it makes me feel good to know that they are going to a more suited home. only you know your situation, and we will respect that!

I've never had a not neutered dog, all of my previous dogs have been rescue adult dogs (so, logically, I know they adapt, I just don't feel that way), does neutering really make that big of a difference?  He's not not neutered for any real reason, we just haven't taken him in to do it yet.

You all have me hopeful that I can convince FI to try longer, though I know I'd better have some pretty compelling arguments, because he doesn't want to watch me go through this again.  He's been calling pretty regularly throughout the day because he says I'm worrying him, and I must be.

If he agrees, what do I say to this woman?  "Sorry, we changed our minds?"  That seems cruel though, to her.

she will understand. there are plenty of dogs out there that desperatley need homes. if you've eliminated one dog by keeping your baby, you've opened up a door for another dog who is in need. just think of it that way!

I found this place, http://sosohio.org/SOS_of_Ohio/Home.html, and I called, so I want to know if this is reasonable/standard.

She said they have standard dropoff and pickup, so you drop them off for surgery at 8 and pick them up at 5, and there is no need for any followup visits or anything, they go home with removable stitches.

And while it says "low-income", she said there are no income restrictions, (I was worried we'd make too much money) that that's there to include people who don't.

Does this all look like it would work?  I don't want him to get butchered, and I don't know the place, however, our regular vet charges 300.00 for neutering, and well, if I could pay less, that would be great.

I talked to FI and while he's not too happy with me right now, he said "whatever you want".  I think he's just afraid I'll get my hopes up, it won't work, and I'll go through this all over again.  But the doggy daycare isn't so expensive here, and if we were able to take him there, he might LOVE having other puppies to play with.