He said he'll take care of it... should I worry?
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Did you have totally ridiculous doomsday thoughts as it got closer?

Having to RSVP no

posted 2 years ago in Beehive
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    1.
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    Buzzing bee
    eeniebeans    October 9, 2010   Baltimore

    Two of my best girlfriends (15+ years of friendship) live across the country (quite near each other) and are each pregnant with their first babies, due a month apart.  I have received invitations to both of their baby showers and I am so sad that I don't think I will be able to attend either one.  They are right before Thanksgiving and Christmas and I just don't have the time at work nor the money to make one, much less two trips right now.  And I can't imagine going for one and not the other (also complicated because they know eachother and there is a high probability that the other one would find out).  I have kind of resgined myself to the idea of making a trip in the spring, when money and time are better, when I will be able to visit both of them with their new children.  So if I send gifts now and tell them of my plan to visit in the spring.. is that ok?  Or am I the suckiest friend ever?

     
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    Bumble bee
    realeastcoaster    July 11, 2009   Canada

    I think it's fine, and if they're real friends they'll understand. Don't feel bad...everyone has to make these decisions lately. I feel for ya!

     
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    Bee Keeper
    KMSull    August 7, 2010   Lexington, KY (via Atlanta, GA)

    Oh honey! You are not the suckiest friend ever! You are so sweet so be worried. Your plan of sending presents and promising to visit later is totally spot on.

     
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    Buzzing bee
    IA_Snowflake    August 29, 2009   Missouri Valley, IA

    That's fine.  I wouldn't feel bad about it and besides, this way you'll get to see the little ones.

     
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    Busy bee
    minneapolitan    11/7/2009   Minneapolis, MN

    I think it's fine!  Your friends will definitely understand - things just don't always work out the way we want them too.  I'm sure they'll appreciate a visit in the spring!

     
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    Busy bee
    lampshade127    March 27   Houston

    I think that's the best compromise ever. They will still feel honored by you sending a card/gift for their baby showers. You save yourself from making two trips at a hectic time. And then you get to go see their new additions.

     
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    Bumble bee
    bvig    September 2009   wedding in NJ

    I think yours is a good idea and then you can actually see their little ones.  At the shower there's so many people there you wouldn't get as much time with them, which if you're going to spend that much money you'd probably want to catch up.

     
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    Buzzing bee
    redherring    September 11, 2010   Pittsburgh, PA

    If I were one of your friends, I'd actually prefer to see you when you could meet the little one! I think you have a fantastic plan.

     
    9.
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    Buzzing bee
    Miss Chapstick    September 2009  

    I think it's more than understandable that you can't be there for the showers, especially with what time of year they fall. If I were your friends, I would prefer you come when you can afford to and when it's better for you, and then plan to meet the baby and probably spend even more time with them.

    If it were me, I would send a small gift to each (like under $20) for the shower, and bring another small to moderate gift when you visit in the spring. But I'm usually gift-crazy, so I would obviously suggest you do what you can afford :)

     
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    Helper bee
    aplusb       Washington, DC

    I think it's completely understandable.  I would send a gift to the shower AND perhaps also send some flowers (pink for a girl, blue/purple for a boy) since these are such good friends.

     

     

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