Having trouble being intimate with my husband…

posted 3 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
3635 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

First, tell your husband.

Then, talk to a professional.  Those are valid feelings that you can work through in a safe environment.  Do you have an EAP program through your work that you can call?

Post # 4
Member
4827 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

@Goody_Gal:  Aww hun! Your friends experienced a very traumatic assault and it really affected you. Sounds like you have some PTSD from her experience. You are probably thinking of yourself in her spot. Give it time. Maybe see a counselor to make sure there’s no residual issues you need to deal with? I bet with time it will get better.

Post # 5
Member
4827 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

@Goody_Gal:  Aww hun! Your friends experienced a very traumatic assault and it really affected you. Sounds like you have some PTSD from her experience. You are probably thinking of yourself in her spot. Give it time. Maybe see a counselor to make sure there’s no residual issues you need to deal with? I bet with time it will get better.

Post # 6
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@almostmrsj: 

I absolutely agree. It’s normal to be perturbed by this news – and what you’re feeling could be vicarious trauma, so get some professional support if you can. 

Post # 7
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

You need to tell you husband before he beings to think the lack of intimacy is coming form something else. Talking to him willl put him on alert and if you can talk your feelings through together it might take a huge weight off your shoulders.

If that doesn’t fix it then maybe seek professional help. these feelings are normal when a friend has gone through something.

 

Post # 8
Member
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Goody_Gal:  

im sorry that happend to your friend.that is terrible.i know you feel bad for her but you can not let what happend to her affect your sexual relationship with your husband.your husband isnt that man,your husband touches you in a loving way so i dont see how that can compare at all exspecially if isnt forced.

i dont know if you should tell you husband why or not,but i bet he be pretty upset if his touches and such are making of you think of a horrible man who did something bad to someone when all he is doing is wanting to make love to his wife,which most men feel loved by sex with their wives.he could start to resent you.

you need to get your mind back on him,think of his touches and his body as man who you love and married,let your body feel good with every touch he makes and be thankful you have a loving husband who wants to make love.

if not,seek help before you ruin your marriage.

be there for your friend but dont let it affect your marriage and i hope your friend gets help for the awful thing that happend to her 🙁  

Post # 9
Member
3112 posts
Sugar bee

@Goody_Gal:  That’s awful.  I have to echo the first response you got.  First talk to DH and then find a professional.

Post # 10
Member
6273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Goody_Gal:  you married your husband for better or worse.  you should be comfortable sharing your inner most thoughts with him.

tell him.  you and him will work through this together.

 

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