Having wedding regrets so soon..?

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
6614 posts
Bee Keeper

Don’t be sad! The bride and groom should be together, but I don’t think you necessarily have to be at each other’s side the entire time. It sounds like your husband is fine with it. What’s done is done anyway. Were there things you liked about your wedding? Maybe you can focus on those. Most things that people tend to dwell on are often things others do not notice at all. It will be ok!

Post # 3
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I’m sorry you feel this way, but honestly you need to get over it and enjoy being married! There’s a lot of small things I might have done different on my wedding day in hindsight, but in the end everyone had a fantastic time and the most important thing is that we ended up married. You were together during the ceremony, which is the most important part.

Don’t let the small details of your wedding tarnish your time as newlyweds! Just be glad that you’re married, and spend lots of time with him as his new wife!

Post # 4
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I’m so sorry you feel this way. Here’s my take; you’re grieving. You spend your whole life thinking about this one day and then months and months trying to get every detail right. You fantasize about every little detail and are told that this is the most monumentous day of your life. Then you live it and it’s… it’s a good day. A great day. But a normal day. For how could it possibly live up to the expectations you had for it? Compounding that is that fact that now it’s over. I liken it to the day after Christmas, it’s straight up depressing. Plus your whole identity has changed. Whereas you used to be in wedding planning mode (for like an entire year!), now you’re just in married mode. That’s a lot of change. 

Here’s my advice (and I’m not yet married, so I could be totally wrong here). Take a few weeks to let the day sink in. Don’t compare it to your visions of the day, definitely don’t compare it to other people’s photos (those are highlight reels – they craft the message in a way that they want the day/themselves to be portrayed), but rather reflect on what you loved about the day. Remember saying your vows, the look in his eye the first time he saw you. Remember those memories, and then focus on the wonderful symbolism of the day. Eventually, as with any type of grief, this should begin to fade. 

Post # 5
Member
5228 posts
Bee Keeper

nolalove212:  A lot of brides say they feel bad they didn’t get enough time with their guests. I think it’s awesome that you were such an attentive host! What do you wish was different? 

I think you should focus on your new life with your husband. Go have a special date night with him. 

Post # 6
Member
4043 posts
Honey bee

nolalove212:  Honstly, you have to get over it. There is nothing you can do but focus on your marriage and your future with your DH. While it may have been disappointing how your wedding turned out, you cannot go back in time. Perhaps take a break from the weddingbee and looking at other people’s photos. Other than that, you really need to move on.

Post # 7
Member
740 posts
Busy bee

You should possibly consider seeing a therapist about this. I had a friend who needed to see one because of her wedding. She was having panic attacks everytime she thought of her wedding. It has been the best thing for her!

Post # 8
Member
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

nolalove212:  We were recently married (September 13th) and honestly my husband and I didn’t really spend much time together at the reception. We were trying to make the most of it with friends/family from out of town because we realize at the end of the day, we live together and will have the rest of our lives together to spend time together but we don’t get to see these friends/family as much as we’d love to. We did all the typical wedding stuff like eating dinner which we really didn’t speak much through,  the cake cutting, the dances etc but after the first 2-3 dances, we didn’t spend any time together. We don’t regret it because we got to catch up with friends/family we rarely get to see and we were glad they could make it! We were both being pulled in different directions but we both had a blast. Maybe it would help to focus on the positives from the night, maybe it will help you when you see your wedding pictures back and see all the great shots your photographer(s) got without you knowing and seeing how happy everyone was to celebrate your love between you and your husband.  I hope you start to feel better about the whole situation and hearing other stories from bees and how their night went that you can move forward and remember the positives! Good Luck!! 

Post # 9
Member
599 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Your wedding day is one day. Your marriage is the rest of your lives. You have plenty of time to be together.

Post # 10
Member
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I think this is a common regret, I have two friends that warned me about how sad they were after about how little time they spent with their new husbands. So much so that DH and I spent all night together at ours working the crowd as a unit. 

The good news is, everyone I know who was sad about it eventually let it go. Usually after their pictures came and that was so fun to look at and relive the night.

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