He always forgets anniversaries?

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
274 posts
Helper bee

I mean if he had forgotten once, ok mistakes happen…but 4 times? My goodness. I don’t know them obviously, but it sounds like he isn’t very concerned about her feelings 🙁 Does she tell him how it makes her feel? Maybe his parents never celebrated anniversaries so he doesn’t think it’s important.

Post # 3
653 posts
Busy bee

They’re not married so “anniversaries” seem a little jouvenile.

Post # 4
3501 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

If he knows that celebrating their dating anniversary is important, then he should want to make an effort to remember. Hell, put a reminder in your phone, man!

Without more information, it’s hard to tell if this is a sign of anything bad in their relationship or if he’s stringing her along. Maybe she should talk to him about it…

Post # 5
2243 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California

A lot of people [not just men] are just plain forgetful!  Has your sister stressed how important anniversaries or putting in effort means to her?  

I ‘remind’ my husband about certain things, but not in a typical naggy way.  It’s more like, “Hey babe, our anniversary is next weekend, what should we do to celebrate?”  This way, he has almost no opportunity to forget & less opportunity for my feelings to get hurt haha.


Post # 6
717 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

My fiancé is terrible with big dates. We have a few anniversaries like first date or when we became official so not sure which to go by. He set a reminder on his phone one year. His phone vibrated and he came over and said “happy anniversary” and that was it. The other year came home from a work event and said “He had a surprise” and had A little thing of flowers.  i said he shouldn’t have.. He said he didn’t and it was a centerpiece at the event and he picked the right number. No idea it was our anniversary until I said something.

Not remembering an anniversary is not indicative of stringing her along. But what is important is that your sister needs to figure out if she’s ok with being with someone who obviously isnt going to do a big lavish anniversary celebration. To me, I dont theyre too important until you get married so I can forgive his lack of enthusiasm 

Post # 7
12870 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

My husband forgets birthdays – even his own, anniversarys, everything date related.  It has nothign to do with how much he cares.  It’s just how he is.  Put a reminder in his phone.

Post # 8
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Although my FI has good memory I usually will bring up the occasion a week before or so like “yay it’s our anniversary next week!” Or “let’s go to the new restaurant that opened for our upcoming anniversary!” It puts the event on his radar to remember. 

Post # 9
370 posts
Helper bee

My boyfriend is great at remembering dates, it’s me who is forgetful. However, the month of any special date, I will talk to my boyfriend and we will decide what we want to do. So, saying in general that men are forgetful is not entirely true. It depends on the individual.

Post # 11
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I don’t like this “oh men are just forgetful” thing. Individuals can be forgetful, but I don’t think there’s a man-gene for forgetting anniversaries. 

The thing I don’t like about your sister’s BF is that you reminded him to protect her and he still “forgot”? I’m sensing that “forgot” has become a synonym/excuse for “didn’t care,” which is definitely not good. 

Post # 12
6435 posts
Bee Keeper

MrsPierce2014:  I disagree — just because a couple isn’t married yet, doesn’t mean that celebrating anniversaries is “juvenile.” I find it a bit silly when couples celebrate their “1 year and 2 month” anniversary, “7-week” anniversary, and the like, but I don’t see anything wrong with a couple celebrating their 8th anniversary together even if they’re not married yet. 

That being said, though, OP, my FI has never been good at dates. Over the years, I’ve realized that I don’t think it’s because he “forgets” per se. It’s more that he (and I’m sure a lot of men), see the importance of being together as something much larger than a mere date on a calendar and so don’t really reserve braincells for an exact date. Oftentimes, they are happy to be together and in love with you, but just don’t give a crap about what exact date you first got together. It doesn’t mean they aren’t as committed to you or care less about you being together — they just don’t place the same importance to a specific anniversary date than women tend to do.

Obviously, not all men are like this, but I think that might be the mindset of a good chunk of them.

Post # 13
6440 posts
Bee Keeper

I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad sign. Some dudes are just bad with dates and events and stuff. They don’t see these milestones the way we do sometimes. I agree with reminding him if she really wants him to remember.

Post # 14
3014 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

the worrisome part is where you reminded him a week before about the date and that it was important to your sister – since he still forgot, it seems like he just isn’t that into her.

Post # 15
8677 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I don’t even remember our dating anniversary. She should try talking to him before freaking out and reiterate that this is important to her.

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