Post # 1
So yeah, my boyfriend asked me if I would mind if he gave me a recycled ring! And by recycled I’m not meaning one of his great grandma’s antique rings…I’m mean some stranger’s ring, which was given up for unknown reasons. I understand that some diamonds are the result of people’s deaths and wars etc…. and I understand my boyfriend’s desire to keep the earth sustainable and beautiful….However I told him that this ring was a reflection of how he feels about me. and that if it was a ring that he didn’t know where it came from, was not an antique, and I gave the example of a woman who was battered and was selling her ring to escape her abusive husband, he would be inviting bad “karma” on our wedding and relationship. I told him I would prefer him to find diamonds that were earth friendly and ethical.
Am I wrong to think that recycled or gently used jewlery would be wierd and that I want something special of my own?
PS I added the reflection of how he feels about me, because he is kind of cheap sometimes, and was probably 1 of the reasons he wanted a used ring. I could totally see him shopping on ebay for my ring, and that would really bum me out. 🙁
Post # 3
I don’t really believe in Bad Karma, but if it is not what you want, then it is not what you want. There is nothing wrong with wanting a ring of your very own, after all it is what it symbolizes, not how much it costs. BTW, he may need some guidance in this area, I know my brother did. He called me to ask questions about my SIL’s ring from a cheap crappy jewelry store and Borsheim’s is right down the street, OMG! I immediatly told him to leave and meet me at Borsheim’s where he found a much nicer ring for what he had planned on spending. And she got the silver box with the maroon bow that every midwestern girl dreams of. Sometimes boys are clueless about such things.
Post # 4
We got our diamond “used” from a jeweler and picked out a new setting. I wouldn’t have wanted a whole used ring unless it was truly an antique / vintage or had sentimental value. If you want to be sustainable I’d suggest going that route. Or do what we did and go to your local jeweler and pick out a diamond s/he purchased privately. A jeweler will also explain to you all the qualities of a diamond so you get something of good quality you will be happy with. We spent a lot of time comparing diamonds and I picked out the one I thought was prettiest. You can also order recycled gold settings – there are several wholesale sources your jeweler can order from. I don’t feel either of those approaches will give bad karma.
Post # 5
Yeah I’m not big on the whole karma thing, unless you know for sure that it IS from a woman that was abused. And since you don’t…plus I think it’s silly to blame those kind of thigns if something bad happens in the relationship.
I wouldn’t be upset, but that’s me.
Post # 6
I have a ring that is made of recycled gold and a stone from an antique ring that was custom made into a ring for me–I like that idea better than just using a ring that used to belong to someone else.
Post # 7
If he really wants to get you a ring made out of recycled metals, he doesn’t have to get you a used ring. My fiance was worried about getting an environmentally/ethically conscious ring as well. He also knew that I refused to wear a diamond ring unless I knew exactly where it came from and that it wasn’t a blood diamond. He ended up buying my ring from Brilliant Earth. All of their metals are recycled, their diamonds are conflict-free, and a percentage of every transaction is donated to communities in Africa that are affected by the diamond industry. Maybe you can suggest he look there! I wouldn’t recommend it if I didn’t absolutely love the quality that I ended up with and it’s not like I’m wearing someone else’s ring. My fiance got to pick the setting as well as the center stone. The only difference is the gold and platinum used is recycled from other products. 🙂 Here’s a (kinda blurry) phone pic of my ring so you can get an idea. Good luck, girly!!!
Post # 8
That’s a goregous ring! I have stumbled upon Brilliant earth and thought that was a good way to go. I know that he is very thorough in researching things before he buys it.
Post # 9
Thanks and good luck! I’m sure you’ll end up with something gorgeous. Boys will be boys, so it’s good to guide ’em a little if you can 😉 Congrats on your upcoming engagement!
Post # 11
I think a diamond is a diamond. I would even buy one off of Craigslist! To me, a diamond is not personal. It’s not like you are wearing another woman’s wedding dress or sleeping in her bed. Its a rock, and no diamond is really “new” anyway. It wouldn’t bother me in the least if I got a “used” ring, especially if it meant that I could have a better ring for my money.
Post # 12
Most diamons at jewelry stores are not “new” our jeweler told us what the percentage was i dont remember but it was a VERY VERY low number.
Is he planning on buying just a “recycled” diamond or the whole ring? If he is just looking for a diamond IMO you are over reacting there is no away of knowing how many owners a diamond has had. Why not let him save some $ and maybe you could get a nicer setting or band with the $ he saved.
Post # 13
recycled is always better than new! it means no one last an arm just so you could have a diamond! (yes, people lose arms, legs, their lives…)
be an awesome person and say YES to the ring! =) It’s gorgeous!
Post # 14
oops, i meant “lost” an arm…
Post # 15
If he’s cheap getting used would probably be better for you I’d think – after all he’s going to be cheap regardless so shopping used means you get better quality for the price he’s willing to pay. If he feels he has to buy a ‘new’ ring he may not get as much at his price point.
PS I don’t mean cheap as a bad thing, I mean it as a descriptive.
Post # 16
My FFIL recycled the wedding ring he had from his one and only wife (not FMIL); he had the stone removed & the band melted down.The jewler let him pick out new stones from the vault and the stones placed into a new setting. He picked out a special engraving design (celtic knot inspired) and the ring looked nothing like the original.
I personally have no issue with recycled jewllery or rings etc. Ther only thing I could posibly see myself taking issue with would be if I were being given the ring of an ex wife or gf. However, I am sure I would get over that since I like to consider myself a mature and rational adult (not implying that anyone else is not).