Post # 1
My boyfriend and I have been together 18 months and have talked about marriage, recently the conversation has become more serious: will we send our kids to private school, what sort of house shall we buy (we don’t currently live together but I spend a lot of time at his), etc
Thing is my Dad came up to me 2-3 months ago and asked me “Is he the one?” I blushed, felt like a weird conversation to be having with my Dad. So I said yes and asked why. My Dad says “Well, he asked for your hand in marriage and I wanted to check that you were sure before I gave him permission”. Needless to say I was gobsmacked. Since then I have been playing the waiting game, and I’m rubbish at it. And I think a little annoyed at my Dad for saying anything.
My boyfriend is very laid back, and takes everything in his stride so I’m not expecting anything soon, but it doesn’t make the wait any easier. We had said that we wouldn’t think about marriage until I finish university and start working next year. I’m just not sure if I can wait that long knowing what I know.
The other thing is my Dad works away a lot so I see him very infrequently, it’s not like my boyfriend can just pop in on him so I wonder whether he asked when he could, as opposed to because he’s planning something soon.
I really don’t want to say anything because I don’t want to pressure him or spoil the surprise. But waiting is so difficult, I find myself getting distracted so easily just wondering when it will come.
Anyway, sorry if this is a little scatty. Any help on how to cope with waiting would be really helpful, I have to physically stop myself from looking at wedding related things, made worse by the fact that a really good friend of mine is in the middle of planning her wedding.
Thank you for letting me share, it’s getting hard not to share my excitement/anticipation with people. Only my best friend knows but I feel a bit pathetic banging on about it.
Post # 3
This is great news and I think your boyfriend wouldnt have talked with your dad if he was going to make you wait another year!
Don’t say anything to your boyfriend… you will regret it later! Just enjoy this waiting time… maybe cook him a lovely dinner, or go to the gym – I find the gym is a great distraction personally – its preparing for a wedding without anyone knowing 🙂
Post # 4
Oh my goodness my dad told me that my DH asked him. And I like you was patiently waiting and waiting and waiting. Until one day after one too many martinis I let it slip that I knew and I was crying cuz I didn’t think it was going to happen because it had been so long since he asked him. Well I ended up picking out my ring with him and everything.
I totally get it. I was a little peeved that I knew and that my dad told me. Don’t worry it will happen…some guys just take longer.
Post # 5
Thanks for your support, think I was just having a bad day. He was working late and I was at mine last night: I think the less I see him the more I think about it, which makes things worse, because when I’m with him I just enjoy being us.
My biggest fear is that I’ve changed the way I am towards him, or that I’m acting differently because of what I know, I don’t want him to start questioning his decision! (Stupid, I know)
@CupcakeLove: I hope you’re right that he wont make me wait! I’m starting a dance class tomorrow which will be fun 🙂 but your gym idea is fab. I’m going to take him treats to work, just because…
@mkewed2010: Totally thought I was the only one; I’d never heard of the father of the bride letting it slip before. Hopefully he’ll ask before I drink too many martinis because it definitely sounds like the sort of thing I’d do too!
Let the distractions commence.
Post # 6
My FI asked my parents for permission to marry me 4 months before he actually proposed. Although I was completely oblivious and my parents didn’t say anything to me. But your 4 month mark is coming up so maybe it’ll happen soon! 🙂
Post # 7
My FI made me wait for almost four months after he asked my dad. Like you, my FI and I don’t see my dad very often, so I know now that FI just asked him then because it was something he wanted to do in person, and that was the only chance he was going to get.
I’ll bet your boyfriend asked then because he knows that you’re the one he’s meant to spend his life with, and there isn’t any doubt in his mind, so he wanted to straighten things out with your dad. However, it may not be the right moment. He might be planning to propose on a special day, or perhaps he just hasn’t finished saving up for a ring yet. There could be several reasons why you’re still waiting, but I highly doubt that any of them have to do with you and your relationship.
I hope your wait ends soon! It sounds like your boyfriend has some plans, so I just recommend you give him a little bit longer. He asked your dad, and that’s a big step! He wouldn’t have done that if he didn’t know.
EDIT: My mom let it slip the day after it happened. I tried to hide that I knew from my FI, but he apparently got suspicious that I had seen the ring or something, so he stalked my account here and saw the thread I started about it. He let me think I had hid it from him that I knew until I finally fessed up a couple weeks after the proposal, though.
Post # 8
My FI talked to my parents and waited 6.5 months. Just be patient and know that it’s coming one day! =)
Post # 9
@BayStateBride and @alicia1745 – whilst it’s still relatively early days and I know he’s a procrastinator it’s good to know that you guys didn’t wait forever! Maybe I wont have to wait until next summer!
@GreenEyedMoon: No special days coming up soon soon but I don’t think he’s the sort of guy to do it on an already special day, I think it’s more likely to be out of the blue and when I least expect it, that thought makes me even more excited!! Also, he totally caught me on the bee boards, I explained what the site was (kind of) but that I was embarrassed he found out I was on here, seeing as I’m not planning a wedding (except in my head) – he said I shouldn’t be. So that’s no bad sign I guess! Tried to further the conversation but to no avail, and I didn’t want to push. (He hasn’t seen this post though)
Good to know we are or have been all in the same boat. Waiting patiently for now…
Post # 10
Maybe he is saving up for the ring and wanted to get permission before beginning that journey. I dont think he would have asked if he wasn’t planning on it! keeping my fingers crossed!