Aw! I'm sorry :/ maybe he has some more cash saved on the side to surprise you with a ring?
Men. I swear. SO keeps talking about buying a truck. I flat out told me if he buys a truck and I don't have a ring, I'm gone. I've sat and watched him buy one to many car part and gun to deal with this crap.
Sorry for the mini rant there.
I'm sorry :( Maybe he will come over in the truck with a ring?
You never know! My husband bought himself a brand new BMW around the time when I thought we might be getting engaged. I was so upset! A week after he picked up his new car he proposed. Now we're married and I'm driving the Beamer. :)
Thanks guys. It was just super disappointing. We recently bought a house and I was waiting for finances to build up before expecting a ring. Houses are expensive. But then he goes out and buys a truck, granted it was used and only $3K, but he bought it with cash and as a toy. (He has a nice truck he uses for towing and a commuter car. This truck he wants to make into an off-road toy). It just makes me sad.
I know how that goes/feels.
Blows.
Awww that is sad. My FI bought an iPad to throw me off the same day he popped the question. He knew I would never dream that he would make two expensive purchases at once. Maybe he is throwing you off the scent? Have you guys discussed a time line for when you would like to be engaged by?
Poop...looks like it's time to buy those Jimmy Choos you've been coveting on a biblical level...two can play THAT game.
Yep, $3K would pay for a really nice pair of shoes, or even two pairs, lol. ;)
@Utopia4us: I talked to him about 2 weeks ago looking for a timeline. He refused to give me one but assured me that he did want to marry me and I'd just have to be patient for now. I don't know if thats because he's not ready, or if he is planning on doing it soon and didn't want to give anything away by giving me a time line. I was hoping for the second, but after the truck purchase, I'm thinking it's more likely the first.
@NotablySidedJP: Fair enough. That is super frustrating. I agree with other posters...two can play this game. Got a big ticket item you weren't buying?
@Sunfire: Ooohhh...$3,000 shoes? I would die of happiness...how were the boots btw?
@Nona99: Couldn't find any I liked yet!! Trying again next weekend, but I did get a couple of new outfits and a new winter (much needed) coat.
How about you, any luck getting your manicure yet? :)
@Sunfire: Happy to hear about the new coat! My nails are a nasty as ever, they'll get ground down on Wednesday! However that is all eclipsed by the orgasm-inducing pair of lace pumps I found on Saturday....so gorgeous!
Aww! I know this feeling :(
@FutureMrsJohnson_: THIS!! Positivity! I like it!
@Nona99: Oooh, lala!! Sounds hot, what color lace?
I love shoes that you just never, ever, ever can wear outside in the rain. DH teases me about having so many pairs of "delicate" shoes when I say, "Oh, can't wear these out this evening, it might rain and they'd be ruined!" LOL.
Once I got caught out in a pair of antique royal purple velvet ballet flats and I had to run across a parking lot in the cold pouring rain. My feet were blue and filthy but my beloved shoes were safe!!!!
OP: I think getting yourself a lovely gift would be well deserved about now.
@NotablySidedJP: I talked to him about 2 weeks ago looking for a timeline. He refused to give me one but assured me that he did want to marry me and I'd just have to be patient for now. I don't know if thats because he's not ready, or if he is planning on doing it soon and didn't want to give anything away by giving me a time line. I was hoping for the second, but after the truck purchase, I'm thinking it's more likely the first.
Eek. And why is it exactly that you're waiting around for this guy? It's quite obvious that he's telling you what you want to hear because he's perfectly happy playing house, and has no intent on following through with marrying you. If he did, you would be married, or, at the very least, planning a wedding. It makes me sad to see how many girls on here seem to have no respect for themselves or their own feelings or lives.
I have been in a similar situation. My man was buying toys and so on. He then decided he wanted a motorcycle and a new rifle. My aunt put it well to him, "If you come home with a gun instead of a ring you better hide the bullets!!!" So, I tried something a little different. Instead of whining to him like I had been doing I decided to give in. I fully supported his motorcycle lust and even encouraged him to buy one he found in the classifieds. I somewhat, sincerely said to him that I could wait a bit longer, maybe after Christmas, for the "bling" as we've named it, even though I was really really really disappointed. I didn't show it though! I think he felt so bad that I was compromising that he haulted all motorcycle hunts and has been actively shopping for a ring. I'm going to try on a few this weekend as a matter of fact! He even said it himself, "I need to get you the ring to go with the proposal first, I can get a motorcycle some day."
So, moral of the story is...manipulate! JK. But seriously, we can't control these boys, they have to make the decision themselves. If they feel like we are pushing them it feels weird and unnatural for both of you. It's hard to be on the waiting list...just hang in there.
PS: I hope we get an update in 2 weeks saying he popped the question! Good luck and best wishes!
@Utopia4us: Not really. Just saving up for xmas gifts. I always spend way more than I should on my family's gifts. They live pretty far away so I bribe them to come visit with awesome gifts.
@Sunfire: White satin, black lace, four inch heel...I love them! They debut at my cousin's wedding in March, there is no doubt that Mr. 99 will be carrying me to and from the door that evening!
@oneofthesethings: I wouldn't say that I have no respect for my own feelings or life. I just also respect his feelings. I know we'll get married eventually, but I can't force him to be ready for it. There is a limit to how long I will wait, but we're not very close to that.
Guys all believe that once they get married they'll give up control of all their money and never have anything fun again. My husband also has a motorcycle he never rides, and bought his M3 before my ring. He even said he knew he had to buy it before we got married because then he couldn't. I disagreed - I drive the M3 more than him, and if he wants a bike... fine (ok, on that - not fine, he's reckless).
Anyway - either choose to believe that's he's spending irresponsibly now because he's preparing for marriage, or, he's spending irresponsibly because he's an irresponsibly ass. You know him better than us. :)
@NotablySidedJP: Yeah, I don't think I said that very well. I guess what I mean is that if he had more respect for you, he'd marry you, and if you had more respect for yourself, you would want someone you wouldn't have to wait around for.
I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. There truly seems to be an epidemic of women just waiting, waiting, for these boys. They need a wake-up call if you ask me.
@NotablySidedJP: I would just make sure he is aware of your deadline. That's pretty much what I mean by a time line. Yes it's an ultimatum, but if you are going to have that in your head, it's only fair that he has a chance to live up to your expectations.
@oneofthesethings: It's not the end of the world. Sometimes I don't think he knows how much it matters to me, which is more my fault than his. He's a little different, he takes litterally 10-15 min to pick out beer when we go grocery shopping. Also, his parents got divorced when he was older, about 22. I think that shook him up pretty bad.
I know we'll get married. He just needs to work up the balls to ask me, and I think thats why he hasn't bought a ring yet (that I know of). It all becomes real when he's got several grand worth of a ring burning a hole in his pocket. We both have very good jobs, and he isn't spending his money "recklessly." He pays his half of the bills and has plently left over to do what he pleases with. For all I know he is planning on buying a ring, but the truck purchase is discouraging to say the least.
@Utopia4us: Yea, I'll let him know when I get fed up. I am holding out till New Years before I give him any deadline. It'd be nice if he did it on his own without me feeling like I made him do it out of fear of me leaving.
Men!!! I am soo sorry. Did you mention anything to him about proposing? I have NO tact. Before we got engaged, fiance was talking about buying a quad (right before last years xmas). I, too, was expecting a winter proposal. When he told me, I just sat there quiet till he asked what was wrong and I bursted into tears saying WE'RE NEVER GETTING ENGAGED!! haha. it WILL happen :)
TO NotablySidedJP: sorry no words of wisdom... just want to say I understand (( HUGS ))
--- --- ---
LADIES,
Now the rest of this discussion... in regards to shoes I can truly get into.
Nona99: loved it when you said...
White satin, black lace, four inch heel...I love them! They debut at my cousin's wedding in March, there is no doubt that Mr. 99 will be carrying me to and from the door that evening!
Oooo-la-la... need pics.
LOL at the phrase "shoes debuted" soooo funny, and sooo true. Only a shoe-loving girlie girl could relate (sadly my extreme shoes days are over... I wore heels 24/7 when I was younger, and did a real number on my feet & knees... high heels are stunning but they aren't necessarily kind as you age)
Still LOVE looking at shoes... just sad they don't like me as much as they used to.
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Not a ring. Oh well... There goes any hope of a Christmas proposal.