- 5 years ago
- Wedding: April 2013
I have been googling and looking for guidance and came across some prior posts about broken engagements. I joined wedding bee as a friend told me about what a great board this was for wedding planning. Never thought I would be posting about a broken engagement 🙁
It’s been nearly 6 weeks since he walked out on me. It was such a shock and completely blindsighted me. We had been having a few problems but certainly nothing that I would have foreseen him walking out on me. He is a Paramedic and works shift work and I have been struggling with that. Because I work a 9-5 Mon-Fri job we really had to make an effort to be together, which we did. I absolutley love him and he still loves me. But he is behaving so wierdly. He left after an arguement and I went to sleep on the lounge. He came in and told me to go back to the bed and he would sleep on his sons bed (he gets access the first 2 days after his 4 day work roster) After about half an hour I went to get him to apologise and he was gone. I picked up my phone and found a text message where he told me that we were finished. His reasons were that I struggled with his shift work, I struggled with his kids (true and there are reasons for that) and I was too social for him. We are from 2 different worlds and I would be better off without him and should find someone that would make me happier. Just like that, out of the blue. As far as me struggling with his children, his 15 year old troubled teenage daughter stopped coming to visit a year prior. She cuts herself and is causing lots of problems for her mother. She has been put on anti-depressants and it has been a huge shock for me to deal with. His family dynamics are way different to what mine has been. So yes,I have been struggling but trying the best I could. I would like to add that my 2 adult sons completely rejected him. I have also discovered my ex-husband has been lying to my sons about me and they have listened and now my relationship has broken down with them. Since my ex-fiance left the house, my oldest son came to be with me. I have discovered that he has a major drinking problem and I have tried to organise help for him, but he has now refused that and denies he has a problem. My youngest son has distanced himself from everyone as my ex-husband is verbally abusive and has now alienated himself from my youngest. My ex-husband and oldest son keep in touch as they are both drinkers and both verbally abusive. A very toxic situation. I have had to ask my oldest son to leave the house as I am in so much pain dealing with my broken engagement and cannot deal with his alcoholism.
Sorry for the long winded story, but I have to face my future alone, disconnected from my sons. My mother is an another state and is mentally ill. My father died over a year ago and was never there for me anyway.
As I said earlier, I love my ex-fiance (is that what he is now?) and he says he loves me very much. 6-7 weeks down the track there have been phone calls, visits and text messages. I have been seeing a counsellor every week to cope. But the situationis this; he is playing games with me. He says he loves me and wants to work things out but never makes time for me. He is very insecure; one day he says he loves me, the next days he says we should go our separate ways. Even now I am waiting for him to come to the house and the last message I got was about half an hour ago but I am seriously expecting him not to show up. He is acting like a teenager. I could go on and on but my question is this – what am I doing? I tried to move on but he keeps messaging me and telling me he loves me. I cave and can’t handle the pain anymore only to face the consequences of him being very non-commital. What is wrong with him? What is wrong with me? I am an educated woman. I have my own business. I am guilty of isolating myself and spending all my time with him. But then again as I write this I realise that his shift work meant I had to make alot of sacrifices to spend quality time with him. He is very jealous and when I told him that I was going to start getting out and about a bit as I was getting lonely on weekends when he was working. He has now told me that he took that to mean that I was looking for a replacement relationship and I was planning to leave him. So he left me before I left him.
So now I am on my own, feeling al