- 5 years ago
Do not cancel for the reason of feeling guilty. You’re ex sounds like a manipulator. Good for you for staying healthy and strong! You deserve to be wined and dined by a new guy, you need fun in your life right now 🙂 You have no reason to feel guilty and your ex needs to stay your ex.
Keep the date and don’t let him make you feel guilty. If he regretted breaking up with you he should have been the one calling. It’s not on you to call him after a breakup and beg to get back together.
Do not cancel, do NOT let him make you feel guilty. Guys are SO predictable in this situation – they get cold feet and end a great relationship for whatever reason, and then sooner or later they regret the decision and then start giving out mixed signals.
You have to look out for number one in this situation. He was the one who broke up with you, who broke your heart – and you have taken all the right steps to get over him. I think you should cut off communication with him for a while, at least until you’re stronger. He doesn’t get to pick and choose when he can talk to you. In the meantime – go out to dinner! Have fun! It doesn’t have to mean anything…but a bit of friendly social interaction goes a long way to boosting one’s self esteem and overall perspective in that post-breakup period, in my experience.
Your story reminded me of the above 🙂 This does seem to hold true, from what I’ve heard and experienced.
You’ve some-what moved on from a man who dropped you like a hot potatoe. Please don’t feel guilty, and please don’t rush back to his arms. As a PP said, you deserve a new man to wine and dine you 🙂
Ex’s always know exactly when you’ve started getting over them. It’s like some weird cosmic pheramone that goes out. What I’ve learned over the countless men that made the “I miss you” phone call. They dont miss you, they are just lonely and mostly horny. Old p**** is easier to get than new p****. SOrry to be so crude, but it’s true.
Go on the other date. If ex wants you back, whatever you do, dont sleep with him. Let him know that if he wants to get back with you it will be 8-12 weeks of effort before he even has a chance to get sex. If he sticks around for that, maybe you have a chance. But that usually scares guys off.
When I read the title of your post, I thought, “Because he’s manipulating you.” After reading the entire post, my opinion is unchanged. Stay away from your ex and anyone else who tries to make you feel bad when THEY DUMPED YOU, go out with the nice guy, and don’t look back.
Keep the date, have fun and leave ex BF out of conversation with new date guy.
why feel bad for your ex? Were his fingers all broken and couldn’t call during those weeks?
What was his reason for breaking up with you? Did you agree with his reasoning?
Since you are moving on and doing it gracefully, it is probably messing with his head. If you were to get back, he would prob want to break up again. I think he needs to be ignored even more!!
Thanks ladies I don’t know if I’d say he’s manipulating me but it definitely feels wrong that I should be the one consoling him! 🙁
I’ll go on the date, it’s only dinner and he’s a nice guy.
MrsEsteytobe- love that picture! It certainly seems to be true!
@hatched: Go. On. The. Date. HE dumped YOU.
I dated a guy that was kind of a jerk and used to break up with me periodically and for some reason I kept coming back. After like the 3rd time of him dumping me on a Friday morning (single again right before the weekend!), I went out with a girl friend and her BF that night. While we were out, a really handsome bartender asked for my number. I kind of looked over at my friend and mouthed “what should I do? too soon?” She looked at the bartender and said “her number is ___-______”
I felt guilty and my friend told me what I’m telling you “Go on the date: HE dumped YOU.”
Somehow word got back to the guy that dumped me that I’d accepted an offer to go on a date with someone and he called me up the day of chewing me out and telling me that “OBVIOUSLY” he never meant that much to me, how slutty it looks, etc. I just hung up.
Keep the date and have a great time!
Your ex broke up with you. If he’s regretting his decision now that’s his problem not yours. Don’t talk to him and don’t think about him. Move on with your date and life!
@hatched: Don’t feel guilty. The only reason your ex called you back is because the girl he really wants doesn’t want him.
If you let him, he’ll keep you as his “back-up plan” but keep his options open until someone “better” (in his mind) comes along. Then he’ll coldly dump you, the same way as before.
You’re better than that.
Go out on the date.
If for some reason, your ex is who you are supposed to be with, you going out on this date won’t damage those feelings. I would bet my last dollar, in fact, that it will intensify them. Whether or not you want to do anything with that later is your choice.
But don’t close off your options because of someone who didn’t consider you an option at all.
@hatched: Don’t feel guilty and don’t cancel the date.
The guy who dumped you is playing mind games. For whatever reason he was all hot and then cold, and you had to suffer. What was he doing the last 3 weeks? Did he try to find someone better and then come crawling back? That’s NOT the type of guy you want to be with, trust me. You want someone who doesn’t pull shit like this. He now wants what he can’t have, and is coming up with some BS excuses.
Of course you’d be upset now that he’s popped back up again, but he had his chance. If he contacts you again, just tell him he had his chance, and you’re not interested in being jerked around. He is now in your past.
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