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So about a month ago, I made a post about my photographer from my wedding pushing me into wedding planning, http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/i-have-a-dream-1. With a few extra pushes from the DH and family I made a go at it. Lucky for me I already have 6 clients (4 paying, 1 friend who I offered for free, and 1 that one of my wedding vendors did as a give away on her site, so that I can build a portfolio).
This morning I got an email from one of my brides saying that on Saturday night her FI sent her a message through FB saying that he was making a big mistake and that he was sorry, but he knew in his gut getting married to her would just end in disaster. He changed his relationship status to single and wrote a blanket apology as his status to their family and friends. He hasn't returned her phone calls and niether will his parents or friends. She also mentioned that she drove to his house and it looks like he's staying somewhere, as the dog was gone too. She asked me to call the vendors for her, which of course I will.
Can you believe this guy? I feel terrible for her. When did FB become the means to communicate life changing information? What a coward.
Definitely the coward's way out. Sending e-mails/messages/letters are an easy way to do things because you don't have to deal with the reaction. I think it's ok for some smaller things, but definitely not for ANY kind of break-up, let alone from an engagement!! Yuck.
She is better off. What an A$$*&^ like seriously? Not appropriate . We need some sort of society intervention when it come to facebook. Too many things like this are happening.
I totally agree with you. What a coward. He couldn't even tell her this in person or help her cancel the wedding. My heart goes out to that bride...
WHAAAAAAT????
Is she for real? Well actually....if she is having you call other vendors, it must be real.
Poor girl :(
Omg. That's horrible. Good riddance, it sounds like he did her a favour. Could you imagine being married to that guy?! I hope she's okay. Send her hugs from the hive!
@PinkPinstripes: Totally for real. Just read it on his FB page.
Well he’s a first class asshole, isn’t he? Calling off an engagement is bad enough but via FB?! He clearly has no respect for her. She’ll be much better off without this guy.
@mwitter80: Honestly, he has done that girl a HUGE favor. I know it doesn't seem that way now, but what a COWARD.
What a complete loser, your friend can do a lot better and I hope she moves on. I will say I'm not surprised that he broke up with her via facebook. People put all their personal business on their pages and status's whether is good or bad. Facebook has become a way of life for some people, spending up to 40 hours a week on that thing. That is a full time job.
Wow, he can't even talk to her and explain, do not propose to someone if you are not serious about them, I mean c'mon this is a lifetime committment! I hope that she finds someone much better, as I'm sure she will and he will regret this for the rest of his life, and his family too, really!? what kind of family is this??? very rude and unbelievable!
***UPDATE***
His mother just called me to see if they can get back the money on some of the deposits they helped with. I explained to her that if I could get any of the money back, I think they should work that out with the bride as I was unaware and unsure of the breakdowns. She asked if I would please handle this with the bride as they did not want to have any contact with the Bride or her family, for their Sons sake.
Hmm...I must be missing some of the story.
@mwitter80: ohh thats so sad and awful!!
I was supposed to be DOC for a wedding for a girl on the bee!!!!!!! and he wedding was called off as well...you cant help but feel so sad....:(
What a coward and asshole. I feel terribly sorry for your friend, but it seems as if she may be better off without him.
I know your heart is in the right place that you are angry for this girl, but I think you should be careful about sharing these kinds of stories on a public forum about your clients. There are boards for vendors only on other websites and if you feel like you need to share this story or get advice on how to deal with particular clients situations, it would be more appropriate there.
@soccerball: I have a clause in my contract stating that I can discuss any details of their wedding in open forum as long as none of their names are used. I am a popular (paid) wedding blogger as well.
Oh gosh, I feel such pain for those involved in that situation. There is always more to the story than we are made to see at first. I would like to believe that the groom's family is deeply affected by this decision and are hurting, too. This is just an all around terrible situation.
As far as breaking off an engagement via facebook- how immature and distasteful! Have his parents not taught him better than that? Others are right when they say one is deserving of a face-to-face discussion, which is undoubtedly not easy, but the respectable thing to do.
Again, my heart goes out, especially, to the bride. It seems as if she has been dropped like a bad habit- not even getting the chance to speak to her fiance nor his family....this just makes me shake my head and feel such sorrow. I can only imagine the amount of heartache is she is enduring as I type this response....
Sending warm thoughts and well wishes their way.
Geez, how horrible! She didn't get a face to face explanation, plus he embarrassed her by making it PUBLIC on fb? She's better off without him, poor girl :(
Wow I feel terrible for that woman :( He was a coward telling her through FB(!) and not doing in private, face-to-face. I think she may have been lucky that he called it off cause who needs someone like that? Poor girl, I hope her friends took her out for a little girl time, she difinitely needs it right now.
I jsut read your update. Wonder what else is going on if they are afraid to contact her parents??
@soccerball: I think that because most of business so far has come through my wedding blog, they understand that everything that happens can be discussed there. Prior to this planning phase I have been involved in the industry, and have openly discussed all kinds of issues with brides. Discussing my mishaps with brides is what keeps me popular. It's similar to why the show "bridezilla's" is popular. You may feel that it is "heartless" to discuss these types of things, but they are real and they happen. I feel like everything should be on the table for disucssing and my brides understand that. Some of them I think play up some of their actions hoping to get blogged.
oh wow, that sucks so much! what a coward. and that's unbelievable what the guy's mom said to you. is your contract with the bride, or both of them? if it's with the bride, i'd think you aren't responsible to the mom of the groom in any way
@soccerball: I agree with soccerball... I think that if you're hoping to grow your portfolio you should be careful with how you handle your clients' personal affairs...
It's not a matter of legality but a matter of discretion.
@mwitter80: I get why you posted it. Please let her know positive thoughts are coming her way. That's a terrible thing to have happen. No one deserves that.
That's just appalling.
To the PP who mentioned that his parents should have taught him better than that... I agree 100%, but I'd also say you can see where he got it from. By just going along and ignoring the bride and her family in such a terrible situation, they're acting just as immature and despicable as the son. Frankly, I would think the parents should be trying to get him to at least explain SOMETHING to the bride in person. Or at the very least, to pick up the damn telephone and call the poor woman. I don't mean they should be intervening in a meddling type way, but just to get their son to man up and show some respect.
I understand that we don't know the whole story, but regardless... as everyone else has said, there's a thing called respect. And tact. Both should have been used.
I can't stop shaking my head in disgust!
Wow he is a disgusting excuse for a man. To do that to someone you at least at one time loved is horrible. I feel so sad for the bride to be. I hope she gets some deposit money back for herself. His parents should have taught him some manners and respect!
Also I disagree with people saying OP shouldn't have posted it on WB, yes she is a planner but she's not using names or anything identifying. If I found out my planner (if I had had one) was on a forum discussing my situation anonymously I wouldn't be offended, it's anonymous. But to each their own.
@authentic: my thoughts exactly. It is disguting on so many levels.
...and the award for Douchebag of the Year goes to...
Couldn't agree more @authentic.
That is just disgusting. I think the bride so strong to be going through this and holding through it all. What a douchebag!!
@mwitter80: BTW, how come you don't have a link to your blog on your profile/bio? I wanna see!
OMG I am speechless...that really does take the cake!
Wow, I can't even imagine what she's going through right now. Make sure to send her our love and apologies. And don't even get me started on trying to figure out what was going through that guy's mind.
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