Post # 1
Long time lurker….first time poster!
For various reasons I won’t bore you with, I believe/expect a proposal is imminent. This is coming years after my own preferred timeline, so the excitement/giddiness isn’t really present. Of course, I can’t know 100% if and when, but just assume for the sake of my post that SO is proposing and soon.
The psycho control-freak in me had it planned all out…..He would propose on one of the two vacations we took this Oct/Nov. Then we’d go ring shopping together in December, and announce our engagement/show off the ring when we visited our families for Christmas. Sounds perfect, right?
Problem is: he didn’t propose during the fall. And now I’m kinda scared that he has forgotten what a control freak I am and is planning to buy the ring himself for a Christmas proposal. Personally, I would LOVE an xmas proposal, but I DON’T want a surprise ring. I thought he could easily do a suprise proposal on vacation with no ring. (i.e. what I wanted) But how can he do a Christmas proposal (in front of EVERYONE) with no ring? Seems like a ring is necessary for that type of proposal…am I right?
I’m trying to calm myself down by telling myself it’s impossible for him to buy a ring without knowing my size. (I don’t even know my ring size.) I’d rather put off the proposal until January or later as long as I get to pick out my ring! However, I don’t want to squash his plans if he’s already planned out the xmas proposal. I feel like I should have brought up the “which ring I want” convo months ago, and now it’s too late with xmas approaching, because it won’t be a surprise now. (which he’s really into….)
So, my questions are: Am I right to tell myself he can’t possibly buy the ring without me knowing, since I need to get measured? Has anyone’s SO bought a ring without a single conversation or shopping trip about it?
Note: I have no other rings for him to measure, and it won’t be an heirloom ring passed down.
Post # 3
Actually he can buy the ring without your size….you would just get it sized to your finger after he proposed
Post # 4
A friend of mine had a surprise proposal and he didn’t know her size. Afterwards he just had it resized (yes it took some time but she just wore a stand in one until it was ready)
Post # 5
Mr. Hedgie bought a ring based on what he thought my ring size was. He was one size off and it was no big deal. We just went and got it resized.
Post # 6
I would tell you not to worry about it and let go of some of your “control freak” tendencies. Let him surprise you. It is okay if he does it his way. If he picks a ring on his own, perhaps you could exchange it for another, or maybe you’ll be surprised and love it!
An engagement isn’t supposed to be about worrying what ring you’ll get or how it’s going to be. It’s about a man asking a woman to be his wife.
If you REALLY don’t want him to pick your ring, then I would just tell him now that you hope whenever he decides to propose, that you’d really like to pick your own ring. It doesn’t even need to be a conversation unless he pursues it. That doesn’t give any surprise away, it’s a simple statement of your wishes for the future.
Post # 7
Just saying: Having your finger sized doesn’t necessarily mean it will fit properly! We got mine sized at a 6.0 based on another ring Fiance purchased for me. I wore it daily and never had an issue with fit. When my wedding set arrived, it was too small. Long story short, it’s out being sized again, all the way up to a 7.5! So just because you have a size in mind, it may have to go out again anyway!
Post # 8
If you really want to help pick the ring just tell him, get his thoughts. You never know, he may love having your input, I know my guy did. And no. He doesn’t need your size to buy you a ring. Having your size is a nice plus but it isn’t necessary for money to exchange hands.
Post # 9
Are you sure he didn’t get an estimate of your size from another ring you own? Not that it matters, TBH. Like the PPs said, the ring can always be re-sized later on.
Post # 10
My fiance and I didn’t go shopping together. He guessed my ring size and put it on a solitaire setting with the intention of us going back to pick out the setting in the right size.
Don’t worry if the proposal doesn’t go as you perfectly imagined it or if he doesn’t pick the ring of your dreams. Once it happens, the proposal and ring will be special in their own ways.
Post # 11
@claireos: also agree. If you really are a control freak then just tell him what you want.
he totally can buy a ring without knowing your size, people do it all the time. that’s what resizing is for.
Post # 12
I had NO idea my ring was coming. My Darling Husband snooped around looking for my rings, and I really don’t wear any, so he got no help there. So, he arranged a little outing for me and his mom, and we just happened to pop into the jewelry store for her to get her ring “checked”. While we were there, she had me try it on and casually asked what my size was. I wasn’t 100% positive, but guesstimated.
It was close enough that my e-ring just needed to be sized down a hair. Believe me, if he wants it to be a surprise, he’ll find a way. 🙂 I love that I was surpised…didn’t have one single clue it was coming.
Post # 13
He can buy a ring without your size. My fiance did that. It’s still at the jeweler being resized. I miss it.
Post # 14
heh i have been wondering the same thing. My boyfriend calls me his fiance, everyone in his life (besides his family) already thinks we are engaged (we are not) which makes it much harder for me. But he acts like it will come soon, and has been acting that way for about 6 months now with no progress, saving up, or any information asked and the days just keep going by, holidays keep going by…nothing not even curiosity. He hasn’t asked me what kind of rings i like nor does he know the size. It makes me feel like I still have a really long time coming…because he has told me that he wants to buy me a ring first before he proposes. And in his head I think he thinks it will be really expensive but if he even asked me what I like he would find out that no diamonds are even involved and he can get what I want really cheap. Heck I would say yes to a cheerio…fruitloop…or a 25 cent vending machine ring. Ugh. It’s not even the ring I care about but he has made it clear that it is important to him to get me something special so i’m patiently waiting.
But I wonder everyday if all guys ask about the ring first? I feel like when he does that then I can start to believe it is really going to happen just because most all of these other ladies have been taken ring shopping or at least asked for them to email him a picture and size before he proposed. my boyfriend i guess is nowhere even near that. So I feel a little crazy thinking it will happen soon. Because most likely it will not. I highly doubt he would just go out and buy a ring without knowing any information from me. It’s just not like him. And also I feel like he should even find out what i want so he knows how much to save up for I mean right? Seems like the first steps.
so hugs! I have a feeling for both of us that we just need to be patient and that we probably still have quite awhile till it happens. When he starts acting curious about that stuff then i will start to believe it is coming soon.
Post # 15
Thanks, everyone. And I know without background info it prob. seems like I’m petty or forgetting what’s important. Just to keep my post shorter, I was only focusing on this one issue. One major factor is that I’ve 100% decided I’ve wanted a moissonite, and NOT a diamond. I did mention this (and only this) months ago….I’m just worried now that maybe he assumed I said that b/c of the lower cost, and he may just buy a diamond anyways. I’m NOT trying to sound ungrateful or selffish, I just feel really strongly about not only a moissonite, but picking out the other characteristics of my ring. It is MY ring, right?
I was afraid about the re-sizing option. Does that cost extra $? I don’t think my SO would intentionally add on $ in order to surprise me. (Of course, it’s a posibility.)
I guess my hope is for an xmas proposal with NO ring. Anyone heard of that? Keep in mind that lots of people will be there. After 7 years of dating and LOTS of pressure from his family members, it seems as if a public proposal in front of them without a ring would be anti-climactic. (Hence my reason for hoping for a private proposal and then ring-shopping trip.) What do you’all think?
Post # 16
@Miss Husky I want to add that I picked out an amazing 3 halo ring that I wanted. I sent my fiance pictures and a website link. I told him that was my dream ring. That I loved the details and vintage look of it.
That’s not the ring that I got. I got a single halo, with details galore, and the most beautiful colorless diamond that I’ve ever seen. At first, I was a little disappointed that I didn’t get the ring that I picked out. That went away quickly. I love my ring. It’s the ring that he chose for me to wear forever and I can never change that, so I would never change my ring. Everyone who sees it tells me how it’s ‘totally my style.’ He did a really good job picking it out.
My advice is to give him guidence, but let him pick out the ring.