Post # 1
I gave my fiancée a list of different dates: 2 or 3 different dates per season. They are set in two different years. He has NOT set a date and I gave him the list over a year ago. He can’t even tell me what year he want to get married, what age he would want to be, what season. Most of those dates were NEXT YEAR, and I know it’s too late pick those dates now. It has gotten to the point my aunt/mother figure told us we should just elope, just get married and/or just have kids. 🙁 I don’t think either of those are a good idea. Should I still be patient with him. I am not in a rush to get married, I just would like to be able to tell people a year, a season, a month, a day, anything other that. . .I am thinking probably sometime after 2012. I have dreamed about this day since I was a little girl, but unfortuately. . .dreams don’t always tell you what time or season or date.
Post # 3
Yikes, I think this is one of those things where you just can’t pressure him. He must know how important getting married is to you- have you discussed the list since you gave it to him a year ago?
I’d suggest just talking to him- find out how he feels. If nothing else, you deserve to know where you stand.
best of luck!
Post # 4
omgoodness. i just talked to him and he said, “what list?” I am about to scream. I kept showing him the list off and on for the past year and a half. 🙁 I told him that I am not getting married in a court house, it’s against my beliefs, so he needs to think about that.
Post # 5
The Army is deciding ours lol. We still haven’t been able to set an exact date yet because we aren’t sure when he will be home from Afghanistan or when the Army will give them a chance to take leave. It is SO frustrating. Grrr.
Post # 6
um, this has been going on for a year and he doesn’t even remember that there is a list? When did he “pop the question”? Why didn’t you guys start planning as soon as you got engaged? I feel like there is a little more going on here, but I could be wrong!
Maybe you should just choose a date and ask him if that date is ok with him. Or, start looking at venues together and see what dates they have available.
Post # 7
Well from my past experiences the date picked us. Because we went and looked at venues and found the one we wanted. Then they gave us a list of dates that were open. Then I took out the calendar and said no to any holidays and other important days to avoid. And that’s how we got our date.
Maybe he just figures that since it is so far away why worry with it yet. Guys don’t understand that you need to start booking venues/vendors a year or so in advance. So take him to see some venues that you like and that way he can a) hear for himself that they book fast and b) so he can start to get excited about your big day too.
Post # 8
DaisyBride, I was the one who didn’t want to start the wedding plans after we got engaged. . .also i didn’t recieve an engagement ring on the proposal-He wanted me to try engagment rings on-I have short fingers so ANY ring just wouldn’t be logical. So a few months laters of browsing, I finally found a place to look at rings that wasn’t overpriced (this was before the whole recession started) and we went and he choose and bought the ring.
I wanted to wait a little bit before we start planning. Now it’s been TOO long and he doesn’t understand that, i guess.
Post # 9
HoneyBunny, I am hoping that he will come back safely. I am a firm believer in suppoting our troops. It was frustrating for me when a family member of mine missed on of their children being born. So I can understand the frustration. The time will come and everything will be beautiful!
Post # 10
vintage2010,I will TRY to find a venue. . .I know WHERE I want to get married, but I can’t seem to get a straight answer from my fiancee. I REALLY don’t want to get married in the state we live in because it would be so overpriced AND too far of most of my family. His family are willing to and they enjoy traveling every chance they get.
Post # 11
- Wedding: June 2018 - Holy Family Catholic Church, reception: National Infantry Museum
That’s frustrating! I’m sorry you are having to go through this. Mr. CC and I picked our date just hours after the proposal.
Post # 12
Wow that is really frustrating!! I’d say if he’s dragging his heels that much, pick a date yourself and then OK it with him after.
The weekend after our engagement I asked him what season he wanted to get married in. He said spring or fall. I told him I was thinking summer or fall, so we decided on a fall wedding in October. From there we let our choice of reception venue pick our date since there was only one left for October 2010 already!
Post # 13
Maybe he seems to think the day is just too far in advance to start planning for. Did I read correctly that you are thinking a wedding date sometime in 2012?
I know it’s frustrating but as someone had posted, please do not pressure him into making a decision right now. Have a heart to heart talk with him. Show him some of the venues you are considering, maybe that will get him into wedding planning mode.
Post # 14
This may be one of those situations where it would be much better not to expect your FI to make a specific decision. Pick a season you like best and say, “honey, what do you think about getting married in the spring?” If he seems happy about this, then you should go look at venues. You will probably fall in love with one, and you will pick your date by process of elimination – when is your church free, when is the venue free, when does your cousin graduate from high school. Some venues will give discounts for off -season or off-peak date weddings (like on a Friday or Sunday) so you might want to figure this out before you pick a date.
Post # 15
Find the location you guys want, THEN pick one of their available dates. I mean, it’s 2009….what’s wrong with late 2010 or 2011?
I think you’re jumping the gun, though, picking only the date. You’ll really have to go see what they have available to you. That’s what we did. We said “well, we want May or June 2009 OR fall 2009 (basically not july/august in the midwest)” and the venue we wanted (ceremony and reception) had maybe 5 dates, so we just picked one together and did the paperwork right there.
Post # 16
my fi was wishy washy about the date as well. So I took out a calender and went through it with him.
Jan-no, holiday and people can’t travel
Feb-Absolutely no, v-day
March–st patrick day/school conflict-no.
May–graduation but can afterwards–maybe.
June/July-def too hotand too many other weddings
Aug-school starts, too busy.
Sept-maybe but school
Oct–too many birthdays, our fav holiday, and school conflicts
Nov/Dec Absolutely NOT: holidays!! work is hard to get off
So it came down to may or sept. And we looked for a venue–and may was the date …than I wanted to get married on a Saturday evening (yeah, I know..but it’s the easiest for work schedule and travelling) And, well there is only four to pick one so we went for the last saturday in May.
It all fell together–if he’s really can’t pick one. Say I would like to get married on this date and I can almost guarantee his reply would be “Whatever you want, baby!” It looks like he needs two choices for picking rather than a list! Remember guys don’t think like us and they want things simply and easy. They usually aren’t dreaming of their wedding since they were young. They, honestly, don’t care. So help him out and give him less choices and less time to “forget.”