Post # 1
OMG. Fiance cannot save money, and it’s really hard.
I did find a job a couple of weeks ago (finally), but he has depleted both of our funds. We are moving in together next month, and he constantly want to go out to eat, to see a movie, etc.
I asked him to buy me a jar at the store today for a tip jar (I had a gig this morning), and he came back with a twenty-dollar vase! He apparently used MY debit card, even though I had given him 5 bucks and asked him to make it cheap. A pickle jar would have sufficed!
I am so upset! I feel like he shouldn’t spend MY money, especially when I gave him a limit and he knows we have such an important expense less than a month away. I haven’t gotten a paycheck yet from my new job and was out of work for about 2 months, so I am down to hardly anything, and he knows that!
What can I do to get it through his head? He spends money like we have no bills, no responsibilities, etc. He doesn’t buy groceries, but he has no problem buying fast food all the time. He REFUSES to eat leftovers, throughs out food that is good, etc.
Post # 3
Yikes. I would sit down with him tell him that you two will start living by a budget. Break everything up into percentages and atleast give him some extra money for fun things or limit him to going out to eat once a week. Then transfer whatever he can’t use to a savings account. If that doesn’t work, then possibly a personal finance class or financial counseling would help. If he’s using his credit cards or even yours, put them in a cup of water and stick it in the freezer so the only reason to get in there is if you truly want something or else cut the card up.
Post # 4
Wow. If it were me I’d be having a very serious chat with him about money. Does he currently have a job? It sounds like he really enjoys going out but you’re going to have to explain to him that he can’t just spend your money and use your debit card without asking first and that going out should be a special occasion, not a regular event. I’m so sorry you’re having money troubles. I had a similar, but to a much lesser extend, situation when my then Boyfriend or Best Friend first moved in with me. He would want to order takeaway every night and hated eating the same thing twice in a row. I just had to explain to him that we couldn’t afford it and we made it a gradual shift. We started only eating out/getting takeaway once a week, then once a fortnight. Now we probably get it once a month if that.
Post # 5
beekiss2 has a brilliant suggestion. Ditto from me.
Post # 6
Also, come up with fun things to do at home. Maybe a weekly scrabble game or rent 1 Redbox film a week, create a special saturday date night and both of you help prepare a new adventurous dinner (something you wouldn’t normally make), buy some flowers, light some candles, make it romantic. It could be that he’s bored and needs some cheap entertainment ideas! Thanks sudslover!
Post # 7
I’m a girl that can’t save and likes to spend, but I know I do it. Fiance is the big saver and penny pincher, so what we did was put me on an allowance of sorts. He has all my debit and credit cards and I get 200.00 cash from every paycheck as “spending” money. Once I am out, I have to ask him for more. It’s made me a lot more aware of what am I am doing with my money. I know a lot of people wouldn’t be open to it and might think it’s a little weird, but it is working great for me.
Post # 8
If he was spending wisely, would he have enough left over to save up for something you both want? When I first started dating my Fiance he was terrible with money and it drove. me. crazy! I remember I’d get so upset with him because it would be like the 20th of the month and he’d have literally $0 to go do anything because he blew all of his money in the first half of the month and he didn’t have a credit card (a good thing considering his habits!!). I think the real turning point was a talk we had about WHY I thought being good with money was so important. Included in that talk was me making him realize that he was a (supposed) professional driving a beat up old honda civic (a 97 I think?) that had so much body damage it was terrifying to drive. I asked him what kind of car he wanted to buy (an audi). I sat down with him and did a budget and he realized that within a year he could pay off his debt (store credit for a big screen tv) and save a good downpayment for a car. Less than a year later he was debt free and had bought his (newer used) audi! He was SO proud of himself for achieving that financial goal that he’s like a totally different person. He bought my (beautiful) ring. We bought a house. We’re paying for the wedding. We have plans to put in a patio next summer. He might be better at budgeting than I am now 🙂
Post # 9
Guys, the story gets worse. Look at my new post. I am seriously not sure how this can all work out.