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Yeah, my guy is being a great help with ideas and going to meet with vendors, etc. He actually does care about it and is not forcing me to do it on my own.
I guess there are a few things he cares about. He cared about the venue, he cares that the ceremony is a reflection of us and is not overly religious, and he cares that we don't spend too much money :) Beyond that his only real interest in helping is in lightening my load. He offers to help when he thinks it'll make me less stressed but he doesn't really care much about the details. Recent funny convo:
me: *talking about mom's recent shopping trip*
him: she buy anything interesting?
me: well she got these styrofoam balls that i think i want to use for some pomadors for the ceremony
him: some what?
me: pomadors. i guess i didn't talk to you about that? i kind of figured you dont care.
him: wait..... POMADORS? Like the hairstyle?
me: hahahahha you mean pompadors i think. like a beehive type thing. no. these are little frilly balls of cute that you hang on chairs as decoration
him: oh. yea i dont care then.
My husband wanted to make all the final choices with me, but not spend all his time planning. So we agreed that I would do the first research, narrow down the options and we'd discuss the final choice together. Except for our own attire, we would not make a decision without the other. It worked out well for us and I'm glad he was so involved, even if sometime I felt like I was bothering him with all my wedding talk...
I do have a girlfriend where her FH is a total groomzilla! No decisions can be made without him.
He cares about food, music and ceremony. He was also pretty involved in deciding things like the theme and "look" of the shebang.
Mostly, I just narrow things down to one or two options and then get his rubber stamp of approval.
@egb- I'm in exactly the same boat. He doesn't spend all his time on it AT ALL but he does want to make all decisions with me. Congrats on getting married!
@Corgi- That is HILARIOUS!! I have similar conversations. And I KNOW we would have the same one as yours if I used that word. Hahahaha.
@Prncss- Good! I think we all need the support, too stressful to do all alone. :)
FI cares about the ceremony (short, sweet and not "all God-ed out" - direct quote), the food, and the music. Everything else is all me. It's worked out perfectly so far.
He acts as moral support LOL. He shows up to all appointments acts attentive and then he lets me make all of the decisions. He actually did design our cake and picked the dj (I had such a hard time picking between two). Like he says he never dreamed of his wedding like I have so he wants me to be happy and as long as we get married thats all he cares about. But he's also the type of guy who doesn't care about clothes, shoes, etc.
FI major concern at this point has been the cake. We've made all the major decisions together, but he's letting me take care of all the "small" stuff (and I'm perfectly ok with that!).
My caveman is PUMPED for the party, but he has zero interest in helping to plan at all! It doesn't bother me one bit, we were like this BEFORE we got engaged---if he acted any differently I would be shocked. I also work best alone with things like this, so I'm in heaven that I don't have to run things by him.
It is nice though, when he comes home, or when we're snuggling in bed and he says "'my God, I cannot wait for you to be my wife". Makes me realize that he does care about being married, just not planning it ;)
FI like helping make decisions but not doing the research and leg work. So, our compromise is that he will plan the honeymoon to Italy
He's been great helping with the planning. He has helped in pretty much all areas and given great suggestions and feedback!
My guy cares about the same stuff I do, just more so. It's very important to him to have a curfew-free venue where we don't feel like we're just renting a banquet hall. I agree, but am less determined about it. We agree that open bar is required, that good food with a relaxed buffet is important. It's VERY important to him that we don't have assigned tables. I don't care. He's also putting his foot down insisting that we have a wedding party. We're on the same page on a few things - short personal ceremony, traditions we're not doing, etc. He picked the time of year, though I did veto October in case the Yanks make the playoffs. He is a total groomzilla about the music - I barely even have veto power. He's really into keeping the budget below a certain (unrealistically low) point, but has no say over that because I'm the one paying.
Neither of us care AT ALL about any sort of decor issues, invitations, etc. We are going to end up with handfulls of grass as centerpieces and invitations done on mail merge. (um, yes, we have been told before that we're both the boy in the relationship and our apartment looks like it's been decorated by a freshman guy.)
The ONLY thing The Guy cares about is the music. Well, and the ceremony to some degree (e.g. helping choose the Scripture readings).
Otherwise, not only does he not care, he also has NO IDEA what's going on. I think the whole day will be a huge surprise to him, as he doesn't know anything about the flowers, decor or DIY stuff. That's totally fine with me though -- it makes it far easier to make decisions and I know he trusts me an my taste.
Fiance says "whatever YOU want" meaning if I want it - we do it and he's more than happy to help out. Good food? He negotiated the catering. Formal invites? He got all the addresses. Awesome cake? Again he negotiated a killer deal. Help picking a dress? He was more than happy to give an opinion (not that I listened to him).
He doesn't care about the specifics but he's been a big help as far as offering opinions when solicited and handling all the negotiations (which I suck at).
My fiance is involved exactly the right amount for me. He doesn't care at all about how things look so I'm free to make all the super-fun decisions about colors, decor, etc. However, he does care about things like the venue, the food, and the guest list so I'm not stuck making big, scary choices on my own.
The FH is surprisingly involved. He has put together the rehearsal dinner as well as done everything with the DJ and the honeymoon on his own. Everything else we are a team on, with the exception of overly crafty DIY projects which I do and my attire, of course. Since he's been married before, I thought it would kind of be "old news" to him, honestly. I did ask him if he was so involved before. His perfect response, "No, but I also wasn't excited before like I am with you". He's a keeper :-)
FI is in charge of designing all our wedding stationary (he has amazing design skills) spray painting all our place card holders, staining our wood cigar boxes and any other manual labor tasks that arise. He also wants to write our ceremony to better reflect us as a couple than a generic one read by our minister. I run all my ideas by him since I like to get his opinion too and he's been great about saying if he likes it or not. It mostly comes down to him saying "Whatever you'd like."
The one thing he was adamant about was the cake. I was thinking of doing cupcakes because I tend to prefer them over cake. He really wanted a cake--and since he really hasn't asked for anything how was I going to say no? He is requesting one tier be Cuban cake. Which is fine by me since my side of the family will most likely want Cuban cake. We're having our cake made by Porto's which lucky for us is a Cuban bakery 
I think I would freak out if he wanted to help with everything! I like to be in control when it comes to the wedding we have similar taste so i know he'll like it before he sees it im not the type to have a hot pink wedding knowing he would hate it!.... we're just really excited to get married and have a blast its going to be one big celebration!..
When we first started planning, I was actually really kind of surprised with how much he wanted to be involved! He was coming up with ideas that he liked and wanted to meet with all of our vendors and just be involved in every aspect of our wedding planning. It has actually been really nice! I love knowing that he wants to be there and wants to help plan our day together :]
He cares about alot, which makes it hard at times. But it is kinda cute at times too! lol
lol he cares almost as much me because he is OCD so I try to double check things through him to make sure he won't freak out!
FH gets a job that he wants to do. And when it is done I give him another job. For the most part he is not too involved and is letting me do basically whatever I want. I sometimes feel like I am running things by him just so that he wont feel left out... and then says if it is part of your vision then go for it. What a darling man!
I couldn't and still can't get over the fact that he really wants to be involved. My friends all think he is crazy, but I like the fact he cares so much about our day
My FH asks at the start of every month what we have to do and what his 'jobs' are lol. So i set him out and say he is in charge of this, this and this and he asks how he needs to do it, i.e I give him an example and he takes that on his merry way, mind you it doesnt take a week for him to organise it takes it exactly the month!
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Ok so I think automatically we brides think the men don't care about the wedding plans and sometimes, they don't care about certain girly things. BUT, I realized that my fiance does care about things I didn't think he would. For example, I called him about the welcome bags we'll have for the OOT guests and he was kinda like ok why do I care?
So then I invite some people to the bridal tasting (we can only invite 4 people) and he is SO HURT because he wantes to bring his guy friends. That did not even occur to me. I thought it was totally a girl thing. So, I figured out we need to write lists of what is important to us so we don't leave each other out of things. Is anyone else having a hard time figuring out why their guy is into some things we didn't expect?
I guess it's hard cause so many men aren't involved and it's weird for me to have him want to be involved in almost EVERYTHING. I love that he is and I think he SHOULD be but everyone expects that I'm doing everything and then I forget sometimes that he's not like all guys...