- 8 years ago
- Wedding: September 2011
I am so livid right now.
I can’t believe this.
I’m trying to restrain myself from cussing but if I break out with the profanity I apologize in advance.
I always knew this would happen, that there was no such thing as Mr. Right. In the end, I WILL end up alone.
We’ve been together two and a half years. We’ve been through his parents’ divorce, his dad’s drinking problems, our stress to pay off school, my family’s drama, etc etc etc. EVERYTHING he has asked of me, I have done for him.
I gave my virginity to him a year ago. I thought I wouldn’t regret it. OMG.
Last weekend his stupid cousin had a huge party and I couldn’t go. My now EX fiance never drinks and his loser cousin apparently had him take a lot of shots. And somehow he ended up ‘doing everything but having sex’ with an 18 year old girl who just graduated from high school. WTF.
This doesn’t even feel real.
What sucks is he kept it from me until last night. I haven’t been to bed yet. I feel like a zombie. All I’ve done since 8:00 last night is cry, scream, shake, cry some more, and then shut down for a while, only to get all worked up again.
And he told me they didn’t have sex because they didn’t have a condom, but they rolled around naked for a while. It was at that point I started throwing things. He was crying, and he told me we could move on because he didn’t actually sleep with her, and I told him to fuck off and die. I AM SO HURT RIGHT NOW.
How could he be in love with me and kiss and hug and hold some other girl? And he even told me he would have had sex with her if they’d had protection. How am I supposed to ever trust him again? Especially when I saw him again on SUNDAY, he acted like he was just sick with the flu, and I brought him soup on Monday like a pathetic asshole.
I haven’t told anyone except my parents, who are like, “It’s over, you cannot marry him.” My father wants to have the boy killed. I just want to go to bed and never wake up. I’m so embarassed and ashamed. I feel so stupid, so played, so naive.
I don’t even know.