He didn't come home until 6 AM

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2851 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Ughhh… It’s best not to try and figure out why men do the things they do. What a bone head; reminds me of my FI.

Post # 4
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Stacy_Loves_Pink:  Wow. There are a lot of problems here and I think the first one to draw attention to is that he drove drunk. Not only is that illegal, but he could have killed himself or someone else. Not really worth the risk for a night of partying when taxis exist or, like you said, he could have called you.

The second problem is that he was completely inconsiderate of your feelings – not only did he ignore you all night, he gave no indication as to where he was, and he didn’t even want to speak to you when he got home. No way would I tolerate that kind of treatment. Sorry, but it sounds like he was behaving in a very selfish and immature manner.

Post # 5
Member
2913 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

Gosh, I think you will be fuming until you say something. At least he should tell you wheeere they were partying, right? Or tell him next time he goes out without you knowing, he should leave you a note or throw you a text.

Post # 6
Member
162 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Stacy_Loves_Pink:  Did he just go out and stay out so late because he was mad that you went out? That was very inconsiderate of him to leave his phone at home and not call. He would have had an earful from me. Just tell him its bothering you and talk about it.. Thats the only way I think you’ll get over it.

Post # 7
Member
1373 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

That would make me livid! Yes, everyone is entitled to personal space and time away and yadda yadda yadda. I get that. But when you live with someone and your worlds are entwined, is nice to have to common decency to not just take off unexpectedly for hours in the middle o the night with no warning or note or whatever. 

Also, I don’t want to make you worry over what very well could be nothing, but coming home and showering before bed seems weird? Unless its something he normally does.. Or he got so drunk he threw up on himself.. It just struck me as off when I read that.

Where does a person go until 6 am exactly? I’m not even old but I feel kind of old asking that question!

Post # 8
Member
2189 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

I would rage out. But you should not react the way I would, Instead you should calmly talk to him about whats appropriate for a relationship and that he wasn’t being considerate of you, plus being super immature.

Post # 9
Member
1373 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@MrsPanda99:  ditto on the drunk driving comment. That would be a bone of contention for me to pick right there. If you say nothing about anything else, please say something about that at least!

Post # 10
Member
8903 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

Wow, I would NOT be cool with driving home drunk.  Does he do that often?  That is such a bad, bad, BAD idea for so many reasons.

I would also be livid that he would just disappear without a phone or note and not use a buddy’s phone to call you.  I would make sure he a) has my phone number memorized and b) knows that WILL NOT FLY.  If he’s committing to spending his life with me, he can at least respect me enough to let me know where he’s at so I don’t worry myself sick.  I don’t care if my guy stays out all night with friends, but I better damn well know he’s doing that and not dead in a ditch somewhere.

You have every right to express your concern to him.  Do it in a not-angry but very concerned / worried way, and hopefully he’ll get it.

Post # 11
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@lalalyanne:  I was wondering the same things. Bars and clubs aren’t open that late…early? Usually when people hide something, they have a reason to.

Post # 12
Member
2189 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

@lalalyanne:  Haha Right? that’s a good point. All the bars here close at 2am. But they may stay open later elsewhere. However staying out until 6am seems crazy to me.

I also think the showering right when he gets home is weird. But like Lala mentioned that could be nothing.

Post # 13
Member
1208 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2004

@lalalyanne:  I agree here.  I think it is super strange unless, like you mention, he threw up or whatever.  If I were out partying and I was still drunk upon coming home, I think I would just crash.

I think you need a whole lot more of an explanation other than just “partying”.

Post # 14
Member
6073 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

driving drunk???  That’s a huge red flag in my book!

Jeez, I don’t know, what is this new bad boy rep he’s getting?

Did he find anything wrong with not notifying you and driving drunk?

I think my first reaction would be worry – like is he dead?  Not pissed.

Post # 16
Member
6073 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

What about the driving drunk and the bad boy attitude you mentioned?

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