- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2011
Sorry in advance for it being so long!
My fiance went with me to pick out a dress a few months ago— I loved having him with me, and his opinions were really helpful, and I ended up with a dress we both love. As a completely unexpected and very lovely surprise, he paid for the deposit on his own personal credit card. I’d been planning to pay with my own card, and could have understood either of us paying with the joint card we’re using for wedding expenses, but you could have knocked me over with a feather when he said he wanted to treat me to that bill. I gots me a good one for sure 🙂
The dress came in and we made an appointment for alterations today, as we both telecommute and generally can step out for a bit during a workday (we both tend to work past 8 hours a day so it all evens out).
As we were leaving for the dress shop, he got a last minute meeting request from his boss, and despite trying to get to the shop early, I ended up in the shop alone, and he was in the car on his call.
This does NOT bother me one bit– happens to us all the time, actually, no matter where we’re trying to go, stuff just pops up and interrupts. So I did the fitting, and it took a lot less time than we’d budgeted, and I paid the balance, while he sat in the car on his call (which lasted till we were halfway home even).
He’s very sad over it all— like I said, I’m not fussed, and while I’d really have liked him seeing the dress and wouldnt’ have minded him getting some photos, I’m not sad or hurt. He, on the other hand, is in a funk– he’d been planning to pay the balance as a treat for me, and he missed that, and that makes him sad.
I made things worse, I think, by saying “It’s ok, sometimes work has to come first” because those words just came out wrong and sounded like “You put work first before me”. I tried to explain– if it weren’t for work, we’d not have the money to go buying thousand-dollar dresses, and sometimes we have to do what the boss wants, and I told him I know without a doubt he loves me WAY more than any job, dress or money. But he’s still in a funk, my poor guy 🙁
I said if it was important to him to spoil me, what I’d love would be for him to plan some time away togther with me, some time in November or December (we’re booked solid till then). I said I didn’t care if it was away by plane, train, or car, or where we went or what we did, but I loved time with just the two of us the best, and that’s what I wanted if he felt he had somehow let me down on the dress. I will spoil him with a little extra affection to help get him out of his funk and prove to him that he’s not hurt my feelings but I also know if he needs to spoil me to feel like he’s “made things right” then I have to let him do that.
My fiance paysattention to everything I say. I thought maybe I’d drop some other hints on other special treats so that he doesn’t feel like I’d not be happy unless we went on a trip. Problem is… I can’t think of anything to hint for! I’ve been in wedding mode for so long that I forgot what it’s like to wish for non-wedding-related stuff/experiences! Plus we have all the “stuff” we need and I’ve not got my eye on anything special, and I’m not really a flowers-and-candy type of girl.
So, bees, if your mister were going to spoil you, what kind of spoiling would you want?