Post # 1
So some of you may have read my thread discussing how my SO hasnt been too pleased with our “friends” and their attitudes toward me the last several months (http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/when-so-hates-your-friendsadvice#axzz2PDif9tps)
Well yesterday, we were trying to select a month for our reception (destination wedding, reception back in our state) when he said “Honestly, I dont even really WANT to do a reception now: I have zero interest in paying to amuse these people that are just going to talk about you the entire time. I say we don’t do it.”
I totally get his logic: our group has been painful to be around lately and pretty much every day I hear through the grapevine about someone running their mouth about something really superficial and mean-spirited (how I wear my makeup? really?), but they’re sweet as pie to our faces. So I get where he is coming from. We are 100% footing the bill for this elaborate reception…but are having trouble tolerating anyone on the list.
So yeah, kind of bummed.
Post # 3
Could you do something for your families, or are they going to be at the wedding?
Post # 4
Awwww maybe you could have a small one with your families? I get his logic and more importantly I’m glad YOU get his logic. But ..it would be nice to have a little something.
Post # 5
What if it was families only?
Have you ever tried to confront the people supposedly saying these things? If you confront them what do they say? Is there a chance it might not even be true?
Post # 6
I would be bummed too but maybe you could use the money for something really fun and nice!
Post # 7
Dump these “friends”. Seriously. And there is no rule saying that you have to invite them at all.
Post # 8
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
I’m sorry your “friends” are being asshats. That totally sucks. Maybe you can use the at-home recepotion money for a fantastic trip instead? Use it to make positive memories that will replace the negative vibes you are having to deal with right now.
Post # 9
From your earlier posts it seems like you have other friends, just this new set that seem to be catty. 1) have you talked to Kim about it? Is she talking behind your back 2) why not have a reception and invite your family and other friends. I’s assuming your original reception idea wasnt to just invite these catty friends and only them
Post # 10
@DaneLady: @HisIrishPrincess: @suburbian: Families will be at the destination wedding with a tiny BBQ “reception” after in a backyard 🙂
@MRSsrm85: @lovekiss: That’s kind of what I was tossing around: maybe a longer honeymoon?? good idea!
@lashphi: @KoiKove: We are definitely distancing ourselves from that group. And yes, unfortunately it’s looking like Kim may be participating in the smack-talk, but at the VERY least has most *definitely* been privvy to it and hasnt stepped in to shut anyone up. The problem is, that was a pretty large chunk of the group we were going to invite, and now we’re looking at our dwindling guest list wonder if it’s worth the expense to keep the big reception, if we should regroup and downsize it or simply chunk the idea altogether :-/
Post # 11
- Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo
Agreeing with everyone else – would a smaller reception maybe be preferable? Plus probably cheaper :3 Win-win IMO x
Post # 12
We are having a “lite” reception after the ceremony – light refreshments, punch, coffee and cake. That’s it! No dancing, etc. That will be over in 1 and 1/2 hours. Our REAL party is the next day – a huge casual pig roast with feasting, music, and dancing. Maybe you might consider something similar? Have cake and punch after the cermeony and have something more elaborate for family and REAL friends.
Post # 13
It sounds like you both just need to breathe. You could always do a family reception with maybe a couple of friends (not the ones who are rude). There’s nothing wrong with doing no reception though if it’ll make you both happy.
Post # 14
I say just do a smaller reception and don’t invite the fake “friends.”
Post # 15
@badabing88: I fully agree with your FI. I wouldn’t spend a dime of my money hosting people like this for my wedding. Can u keep it to family only? When SO and I marry we will only be inviting immediate family and then treating them to the best food and drink money can buy afterwards. Phoney friends will not be welcome.
Post # 16
I agree with the idea of families and supportive friends only and have it be a bit more intimate. OR don’t do a reception and spend longer at your destination wedding/honeymoon.