Post # 1
I know I commented on this on a bee’s post how I thought my FH got over the whole “I have never worn a ring and it will be weird and I don’t want to after we’re married” thing. Apparently I was wrong, and we had a pretty in depth conversation about it a few weeks ago.
He would actually rather get a ring tattooed in place of having an actual ring.. which is a sweet gesture, but I personally am not a fan of the tattooed finger thing. He’s not bothered that I wouldn’t do the same (I have several other tats, just don’t like the look on the finger for me). I know that I don’t need him wearing a ring to signify he loves me – I know he does, without a doubt – but part of it just signifies unity to me, I suppose. Is it wrong for me to be kind of upset by this? Our current compromise is for him to get a ring anyway, try it out for a few weeks, get the tattoo if he really doesn’t like it, and maybe wear the ring now and again when we go out.
Post # 3
My husband wasn’t too sure how he’d feel about wearing the ring either. As it turns out he actually loves it…however, there are times when he has to take it off for various reasons (the main one being sports) and he is looking for a hemp necklace of some sort so that he can still wear the ring around his neck when he can’t wear it on his finger. Not sure if that would be a compromise for your FI or not…just a thought!
Post # 4
I think that’s a good compromise, and I personally think that the tattoo replaces the ring. As long as there’s something there to signify that the two of you are married, I think that’s fine. If he refused to wear the ring and not get a tattoo…I’d be a little more worried.
Post # 5
I think your compromise sounds fair. But no, it’s not wrong for you to be upset. I’d be upset, too.
Post # 6
My FI doesn’t want to wear his ring. Says he is not a jewelry person. I told him it was non-negotiable. We’ll see how it goes. I have a feeling it will be a constant struggle.
Post # 7
This seems to be a common theme with men. My FI is saying the same thing too. He’s never worn jewlery and doesnt think he’ll like the feel of a ring on. Lots of friends said the same thing. I told him too bad, he’s wearing one! =)
Post # 8
Definately Common! My FI says hes never worn jewelry and thinks it’ll be weird. I told him that it felt REALLY weird to wear my engagement ring at first but i got use to it quick. So we bought him one and he’s willing to try it out…. and if he doesn’t like it oh well haha
Post # 9
My dad never wore a ring, he’s allergic to most jewellery, and my SO doesn’t want to wear a wedding ring either. He agreed that we’ll get him a ring that he can wear sometimes, but it doesn’t matter to me one way or another it’s his choice.
I can totally sympathize with the ladies who really want their men to wear their wedding rings. I wish my SO were more enthusiastic about it, but I’d be pissed if he tried to force me to wear something I didn’t want to wear, so I respect his choice too.
Post # 10
My FI was the same way and he works with his hands all day long, so pretty much the main reason for going band shopping was so he could take 2 hours trying on every ring possible to make sure he got the most comfortable one to him. He ended up getting a comfort fit one, and we ordered it online, when it came in I caught him wearing it around the house to get use to it, and now he actually likes it and can’t wait to wear. weird I know!
Post # 11
The Guy also says that he isn’t going to wear his ring. The whole “umconfortable” thing that was mentioned above by PPs.
To be honest, as much as I wish he would, I’ve decided this isn’t a fight worth having. It’s only a ring. Not wearing it doesn’t make him any less married.
Post # 12
Maybe he just hasn’t seen a ring that he likes? Maybe he pictures a more traditional wedding ring and just doesn’t like that? Maybe if you could find a more “manly” looking ring it would grow on him 🙂
Post # 13
I’m sorry this upsets you, but I don’t think it’s that big a deal if he doesn’t wear a ring. I don’t think it has anything to do with whether he’s committed or not. After all, most men my dad’s age never wear their wedding rings and they’re committed nevertheless.
Post # 14
My FI has never said he won’t wear it; but he has commented that it will be weird. However; we have friends who are married and the WIFE doesn’t wear her ring. I mentioned it to my FI and he noticed and it was like a light bulb went off in his head. He didn’t like that at all. He thought she should have been wearing it. He told me that I better wear mine; & I said well then you better wear yours too. So for all you ladies who’s man keeps saying he won’t wear his; then don’t wear yours. Believe me he’ll change his mind when his wife is walking around without her ring on.
Post # 15
Meh, no biggie. My dad never wore a ring (lots of my cowokers don’t). Rings are becoming more popular nowadays I think. They seem less prevalent with previous generations. But i think the tattoo is a nice compromise. He wants to get something, but you don’t like the tattoo cuz it does nothing for YOU. Well, it’s his finger. Would you really not get something you really wanted b/c of his opinion of it? A ring doesn’t make you more married and really, unless you married Brad Pitt, you probably don’t have to worry about women throwing themselves at your SO =P
Post # 16
I think you need to tell him exactly why it bothers you.
My FI didnt think he would wear a ring all the time, mainly because his dad never does. Mind you his parents are happily married and his dad doesnt wear it since he owns a construction business.
However, some fuel was added to the fire when his sister told me her husband does not usually wear his either, making my FI think it is normal not to wear one.
My Dad recently left my mom and it has been really hard. He always wore a ring until he left her so I explained to my FI that I know it may not mean anything for his dad not to wear his but it means something for my dad not wearing his.
Once I explained he understood. This was a while ago and 2 weeks ago we picked out bands and he is actually excited now.
I think will all things,you just have to figure out how big of a deal it is to you and explain your reasoning.