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Yes, you read that right, he gave me a diamond ring. I should be thrilled, right? But I'm not and here's why...
SO got A LOT of money back in taxes this year. Enough to buy a ring and then some. I wasn't expecting a ring, but was hoping. In the meantime, he bought a really expensive computer and a bunch of other things. I kind of jokingly whined that he should get me something.
Last night, we are sitting together chatting when SO pulls a white box out from his pocket and says something really sweet. I am telling my heart to be still and to take deep breaths. I open the little white box to find a jewelry box. At this point, I am really telling myself to relax... it's probably earrings.
I slowly open the box and... OMG... it's a ring. My heart leaps up and I have to push it back down telling it to slow down. Be still my heart! lol.... I get a better look at the ring and it's a ring that looks like e-rings that many people wear, with the multi-stones making the center stone. To me, it looks more like an e-ring than your average, just for fun ring. It has the center stone (made of smaller stones) which is up, like a solitaire and then diamonds in the band. I can honestly say I've never seen something like this worn as anything other than an e-ring, although it'snot exactly what I would pick for an e-ring, but at that moment I don't care... I just wonder what does this mean???
So I look at him to see if he's going to say anything and he doesn't. He just smiles at me. Silence. Smiles. More silence. It's not an e-ring, I tell myself. The silence is loud. So, I take it out of the box and tell him it's really pretty but it looks kind of big. He says, "that's because it's not meant to be worn as an e-ring." I smile big, hoping my disappointment doesn't show in my eyes, or even worse run down my cheeks in the form of tears.
So, there we sit, me staring at my very pretty and very sparkly non-engagement ring. I am still VERY happy and love the thoughtful gift, but are boys slow or what? I mean, you don't buy a girl a diamond ring when you KNOW she wants to get engaged and then tell her it's just a ring and NOT to be worn on her ring finger. 
My friends are just as confused as I am as to why he would buy a ring that looks like an engagement ring, but is not an engagement nor promise ring. Maybe it's his practice ring? And, so here I sit, continuing to wait... with something sparkly to stare at to pass the time.
?!?!?!?!?!
I don't blame you for being confused and upset. And he just was completely silent when he gave it to you?
???
Ouch. I think some guys really just do not think about how this things can be interpreted. Sorry you are going through this.
I am confused and upset for you!!!
Can you talk to him about it?
Geez that sounds like a cruel joke! Men can be so clueless! The fact that he actually said "It isn't meant to be worn as an engagement ring" is what really sucks because it means he knows that you were hoping for :(
I would have been really upset too. I probably wouldn't have kept it together as well as you did. Very confusing, that's for sure. Sorry you're so disappointed :(
Thats crazyness. I think you definitely need to talk to him about it. Is it supposed to be a promise ring? What did he expect you to think? Please find out and let me know bc I am totally thrown for a loop here!
Um, wtf. It's too big to be an E-ring? You buy your SERIOUS GIRLFRIEND a diamond ring and it's not an e-ring? Is he clueless?!
dude that's weird. You just...don't do that. I'm sorry CurlyDreamer! That just seems cruel and a very mean tease! I'm sure his heart was in the right place...definitely a dumb guy move.
Mull it over for a few days. If it still bugs you, I think you'll have to talk to him about it. =\
awwww keep your head hope. boys are just slow sometimes... i'm sure he meant to do a sweet gesture, not thinking how sad it would make you feel.
he will propose when he's ready, us girls just have to be patient! :P
Wow this happened with my ex. He gave me a bridal set that was nothing I could have ever wanted, and left it in the bathroom for me to find!! I was confused and we blew up into an argument. Needless to say we lasted maybe 4 months after that.
I think this gift deserves a more in-depth talk. It seems a bit unsettling!
It's a bit bizarre, especially since he's aware that it looks like an engagement ring. I would just be blunt and ask him why he got you a ring that looks like an engagement ring but isn't. How are you supposed to wear it? People are just going to notice and ask you and you're going to have to explain the bizarre story 10,000 times.
I don't get it either, I probably wouldn't of been as composed as you seem to have been. I would of asked him what he was thinking.
I think you need to talk to him. Why in the H would he buy you a ring he knew looked like an engagement ring? That's just mean. I think you need to get to the bottom of this and he should know you're upset about it.
Does he know that you want to get engaged? Because if he does, this almost seems mean. You should really talk to him about this. Find out why he would tease you this way. Think of it this way. If he didn't want to get engaged, he could have bought you diamond earrings instead of a diamond ring. Why would he get you a diamond ring when he knows you want to get engaged?
Awww... you poor thing! That's almost heartbreaking.... I agree with PP's think about it for a while and if you're still upset, def have a talk with him.... *HUGS*
Oh wow. Yeah, that's pretty weird. "That's because it's not meant to be an e-ring." WHAT?! Apparently he wasn't listening to what was coming out of his mouth because otherwise he should have known it was not the thing to say. I think discussion needs to be had about why he bought you a diamond ring that probably did come from the bridal selection, and if not a right-hand ring selection, and why he thinks it's okay to give it to you if it's not an e-ring. I would be just as upset and you are stronger than I am, I would have burst into tears.
I know it doesn't make it any better, but look at it this way, at least he didn't stutter into a proposal or something and then play it off like it was an engagement ring and you found out later that wasn't. Honestly, I think that would be even worse.
Hmmm... thats is so frusterating and odd! I would be really confused too!!!! Maybe he is just seeing how you respond or whatnot, and your e-ring is on the way?
Do you have pics of this not e-ring?! ;)
That happened to a friend of mine too. When she showed me the ring, I didn't know what to say. Later, I learned she did it on purpose to gauge my response to make sure she wasn't confused too. I can understand your frustration. Diamond earrings would have been much better!
I agree that you need to talk to him about this. Clearly you guys aren't on the same page when it comes to marriage. Have you guys talked about getting engaged? I feel terrible for you. This isn't something you do to a girl period.
:( That's super depressing. I'm sorry to hear that! I agree with the other ladies that you should probably discuss it with him...see what his plans are why he deliberately said it isn't an angagement ring. Very strange.
i dont understand...really confusing.... you need to talk him and clearify this... is it possible that the ring he gave you is a real E-ring and he was joking with you to see your reaction or something??
Oh man=( My cousin's boyfriend did a similar thing last Xmas. He got her a ring that looks EXACTLY like an engagment ring, a solitaire only not a diamond (not a CZ, but some other diamond look-alike I'm not sure of...). Of course everyone asked her if they got engaged and she then had the horribly embarrassing and awkward position of explaining no it's not an engagement ring, he didn't propose, it's just a ring...
THEN! This past Xmas, he got her a matching pave band. WTF??! Now she's got a complete bridal set. Again, it's not diamonds, but to anyone who sees it she looks married! She feels bad not wearing them, but it pains her havng to repeatedly explain the story to everyone. NO ONE know why he did this, and she's too embarrassed to ask him.
Do you guys talk about when you would get engaged? Maybe it's some sort of promise ring?
W.T.F.? I'd def sit down & chat with him. He might be clueless to how you feel, but I doubt it.
I agree that you should discuss it with him.
That said, do you think maybe it was supposed to be one, but he saw the look on your face (NOT blaming you, it happens) and just said it wasn't so you would like your engagement ring when you get one? I could be way off, but it's just a thought...
Wow! I am so sorry about that. It's funny because my hubs and the guy I dated in college always said they wouldn't buy a ring as a gift (prior to any engagement) because of the message it can give and I say your bf missed the mark entirely.
As the other ladies mentioned, I think it is best to talk to him. You are hurt and I am not sure it is something that should be hidden.
Best of luck to you!
:( :( :(
awww, that is depressing. what is the boy thinking? maybe he got you the ring made up of smaller stones (for the center stone) because those are ALOT cheaper than a big centertsone (one rock) and he's saving up for that? :)
ok i had to read this again.. few questions? are you wearing the ring right now? and on which finger? did you ask him on which finger are you supposed to wear the ring? i would play smart just asking weird and random questions to put him against the wall and see what his answers are... good luck
Assuming he isn't just being clueless, isn't that a bit cruel? I suggest wearing it around your neck.
Woah, talk about clueless! I would totally have had that locked smile with tears down the cheeks. Does he want you to wear it on your right hand?
That weirds me out because if he walked into a store and asked to look at right hand diamond rings, he would have been shown things like this:
If he just asked for a diamond ring, I'm POSITIVE the clerk would have asked about the engagement. So how do you even go about putting down 4 figures without gaining a clue?
That's really mean of him to do, I would definitely have a serious talk about it. I know guys are clueless, but this seems so obvious to me...
Aww you poor girl :( this does seem to be a very confusing situation...I know how you feel two Christmas's ago I got an e-ring as a promise ring for a present. I knew it was a promise ring, but when he presented it to me on Christmas there was the awkward silence where everyone around me thought it was a proposal...I was happy to have the ring as a symbol, but my family's silence reminded me that this wasn't an e-ring (what I really wanted). I suggest you talk to him about how you feel if it continues to bother you otherwise the resentment could explode.
I can't imagine how you must feel. I really think you should talk to him...Explain to him that this is how you are feeling about it....you could even show him your post...I don't think there is anything wrong with that....Your write it all out on paper...that's often easier then speaking the words.
The only thing I can think of--and I don't think this is the case--is that he meant it as a promise ring?
You definitely need to talk to him about this. And as you can see from the comments--you're not alone in your confusion. And I'm sure a lot of guys would agree with you, too.
Best wishes!
I'd give him back the ring, (put it in his hand) and tell him you don't want any more jewelry unless it's a e-ring, then walk away with him feeling like an idiot with the ring in his hand. Don't be emotional about it, just be direct, even non-chalant. It will throw him off as much as that ring threw you off.
Wait a few days for him to ponder that one over. Then have a serious talk.
So it looks like an e-ring but isn't an e-ring. Does he not know what they look like? I would be upset and confused too.
I like sulaii's idea... be direct and let him feel like a fool too. This isn't a game, this is your heart and future together.
Wow, that is bizarre. You're right that people will assume it's an engagement ring and will ask you about it. You don't have to go through all that mess. I would tell him flatly that wearing that ring tells the outside world that you are engaged, and that unless you really are engaged, you will not wear that ring. Maybe he is trying to be controlling by telling other men that you're taken, but without actually committing? Either way I would not wear that ring!
Wow - that is confusing. I don't even know what to say, except maybe it's time for a very serious talk about where the relationship is headed and why it's not ok to buy an e-ring look-alike for a girl when she's clearly waiting for the real thing. Guys can be so thick sometimes.
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