- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
Help, I need advice/support. My FI told me a couple of days ago that he doesn’t want to get married to me anymore. He said that he doesn’t feel excited about the wedding and is more worried that if we did marry and it didn’t work then it would be harder to spilt. This came out of the blue. I had noticed that he had seemed a bit down the past couple of weeks and had spent more time with friences but I had no idea that he was thinking about calling off our marriage.
We have been together for nearly 6 years, which have been incredibly happy. I have absolutely no regets out of the time that we have shared and he has said the same, so I am struggling to understand him.
His sister got married last summer and their marriage broke down after 3 months. We have talked about that a lot and it unnerved both of us, but we have always been so happy and solid as a couple. I don’t know if that has made him question us more and see little imperfections.
He admitted to me that someone has started at his work that he is attracted to and gets on with scarily well. He said that nothing has happened though there is a connection that he can’t deny. He was honest and told me that she had admitted to liking him, that they had talked about me and she had said that whatever he did is his decision. I am gutted that he feels like this about her but at least he was honest.
He has said that he needs time and space to work out what he wants. He was going to try not to tell me until he had thought it over more but said that he felt so guilty and he felt like he needed to put a stop to the wedding planning.
I have told him he can have space but I am really struggling with it. I feel like I just need him to comfort me and tell me it will be alright and really want me.
I havn’t told anyone incase it does turn out to be cold feet and he mans up. All of my close friends I share with him, so don’t want to talk to them yet. I really don’t want to lose what we have.
He says that he loves me and cares about me but that it doesn’t feel the same, that it feels too safe. I asked him why wouldn’t he want to feel safe and loved. He said he doesn;t know what he wants.
I am in pieces inside about this, and I think he is as well.