Post # 1
It’s over. My ex-FI/love of my life is actually gone. He sat around all weekend finding reasons not to leave and I told him he HAD to leave today in order for him to get his mind right and so that I could heal. He needs to know what he has done. He needs to know what he walked away from. I know he knows it because he expressed to me TWICE that he regrets our relationship not working out…but he needs to feel this.
After dragging ass all day, he finally comes out of the restroom with his arms out asking for a hug. I politely declined. Shocked, he walked away from me and hid in the bathroom again. He comes out again, except this time, his face is down and his eyes are dark. He picks up his bags, walked towards the door, and leaves without saying a word. I closed the door behind him, locked the door, and sat down on my couch.
This is so painful. What did I do wrong? I only wanted to be happy with him for the rest of our lives. Is that too much to ask? I’m just so confused and hurt, I don’t know what to do. I mean, I’m going to carry on with my life but….he was part of it for three and a half years. How do I just pick up and move on? Don’t get me wrong, I am doing much better than I originally anticipated, but I’m still crushed inside. Just a few months ago he told me I was the one for him and asked me to marry him. He always said I am so smart, athletic, mature, nurturing and fun….yet, he tells me he can’t deal with me the rest of his life. I was ring shopping, we were making plans for our future…and now it’s over. I just need….I don’t know what I need. I’m so glad I closed that door behind him but my heart broke at the very same moment. I am destroyed… I am just destroyed
Here is the back story for anyone who hasn’t read it
It's All Over
Post # 3
🙁 Lots of hugs to you. I’m not quite sure what the backstory is here, but if it was for a good enough reason, then kudos to you for letting him go.
Post # 4
I am so sorry you are going through this:( I know it’s hard to believe, but everything happens for a reason and you are better off apart as you can’t force love. You should be with someone who is excited about spending forever with you, and your ex said he can’t dea with you for the rest of his life. I’m not sure where he was coming from with that statement, or what was the catalyst of the breakup, but you I know you will find someone who will love you always. Big hugs- you will get through this:)
Post # 5
@angustia: I just have to tell you, I have read all your past posts, and WOW!! I dont know how you are being SOOO strong!! Seriously, if i were in your shoes.. i dont know what id do.. i cant even imagine.
Im sooo sorry that you had to go through this!! My heart breaks for you! But yet, i still feel like your going to be better off. From what you have said about things he said.. I think he doesnt like how independent you are…
Stay strong!!!! time will heal all wounds!
Post # 6
Sending lots of positive, strong vibes. You will be ok. Just hang in there. Keep doing what you’re doing: working out, talking with friends, studying, keeping yourself busy. But remember, in order to heal you have to let yourself feel the pain to: cry, be sad, think of the memories…..but then pick yourself back up and remember what you deserve in the end. He wasn’t willing to give you that, but someone else will!!
Post # 7
Big hug and positive thoughts. You are a strong confident woman, it’s going to be difficult but keep your head up and keep moving forward. You deserve someone who loves you and wants to be with you forever without any doubts or second thoughts.
Post # 8
@graygodess20: Thank you so much! I’m trying to stay strong and positive because I’m a survivor, but…it’s hard. Thank you for your words and I think he is afraid of my independence (even though I stuck by his side) and was able to hide it very well.
@MadTownGirl:I appreciate the encouragement and positive vibes. I need them more than ever right now. I know the tears are coming eventually., and I will embrace them. With each tear, I know my heart will gain another stitch in the process of making it whole again.
@BeeBiscuit: I hope that person steps into my life before I lose all hope. I thought my ex-FI WAS that person who would love me forever without any doubts. Maaaaan was I wrong. I’m so devastated
Post # 9
Oh no! :'( *hugs*
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Just go treat yourself to a day at the spa to forget all about it and go out with some friends and have fun. It will take time to heal but you deserve to pamper yourself a bit first. It will eventually get better. 🙂
Post # 10
I am so sorry you are going through so much pain! I read all your previous posts and my college sweetheart sounds very similar to your ex-FI. When we broke-up (he broke up with me and acted like a mopey coward when he moved out of my house) everyone, I mean everyone, told me similar things to what you’re getting, “I’m sorry you feel horrible, but honestly you’re such a STRONG, smart, capable woman you’re better off without him.” For awhile there I started to really hate being told how “strong” and level-headed I was (b/c in my darkest moments I wondered if maybe we would’ve worked out if I WASN’T so damn strong and capable).
But now that I am with my FI, looking back I am SO relieved that my ex did me the huge favor of breaking-up with me! There is NO WAY I would’ve been happy being with someone who was “weaker” than me (sounds kinda bad I know but don’t know how else to put it) and I would have to compensate for his “lack.”
Dearest angustia, you will meet a man who is JUST as strong, smart, compassionate, caring, and capable as YOU. Only that type of man will be your true partner (someone who is emotionally strong in his word, commitments, and has the resiliency to navigate the ups-downs of a relationship). You sound like the type who will go places in life, and your true man will help you achieve your potential in a way you alone could never have done. I’m so excited for your new chapter in your life! And to hear you tell us how happy you are with your new beloved 🙂
Oh and as a funny side-note, I actually ran into my ex again at my brother’s wedding (I haven’t seen/talked to him in 7 years). When we finally said “hello” (for the first time) while standing in line for the h’orderves, he turned to me and out of nowhere started talking about the time we broke-up! I was like “wtf? what are you talking about?!” because he kept going on and on about how he wanted me to know that even though he ended our [amazing] relationship and broke my heart (all his words!), that he wanted/needed me to know that he really did love me and will always love me. #[email protected]&*!! Is he crazy? My FI was standing next to me in line and he could’ve easily pulverized the ex with one hit. I said to my ex, “I know you loved me. And it’s okay because everything turned out exactly the way it was meant to….” and I turned to my FI and he smiled at me with so much love and commitment in his eyes, I don’t remember much after that. But later that same night, my FI pulled my mother aside and told her how much he loves me and asked for her permission to marry me. <3 <3
Here’s to your amazing new future!
Post # 11
I’ve been following your story, and I just want to say how strong you are. Continue to stay strong and rather than a door closing, one will open and behind it will be someone who appreciates you and truly sees you for who you are and what you are worth.
Post # 12
@megz06: +1 very well said
Post # 13
@Shina: That’s exactly how I feel. Maybe had I not been so strong, he would still be here. I don’t see light at the end of this tunnel. Although I am enjoying being in my apartment alone, I do miss him and wish we could’ve been married as planned. I’m almost certain I won’t find another love like that—ever. In fact, I don’t want to touch a relationship with a 10 foot pole. I feel destroyed on the inside by way of….romance. I read all of the stories like yours and I feel it won’t happen for me. It seems as though he was my only opportunity for marriage, no matter how ridiculous that sounds.
I hear that he’s not doing well at all. On the one hand, I am happy. LOL. On the other hand….it wouldn’t have to be this way had he not done what he did to me. This is the worst pain I’ve experienced in a long time and I’m not sure I can handle it again
@megz06: I’m hoping and praying this is what will happen. I feel like a huge door has closed on me. It really sucks…
Post # 14
@megz06: +1 I totally agree!
Post # 15
It will hurt and you will heal. Remember, there are exact reasons why it did not work out. You seem like such a strong woman. Good luck! Better things/people are coming your weay.
Post # 16
@angustia: That must have been incredibly hard to do. I know in your position I’ve caved like a house of cards, and really regretted it at the end of the day.
You should take a day off to yourself. Go to the mall, see a movie, do something fun and luxurious! I got myself a dog at the end of my last serious relationship before my SO and it was the best thing I could have done for myself.