- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2016
My boyfriend initially took me to look at rings last November. At that time, he said an engagement wouldn’t happen in the next few months, but it was definitely imminent and probably by the spring. I figured it would happen after my graduation in May. Throughout the holidays, he was very excited and brought up rings and styles and preferences constantly. In February, he surprised me by purchasing a stone, and said he wanted to design the ring together…I assumed that meant we were still on track for a May/June timeline. In Feb and March we went to tons of different custom jewelery places to start talking about ring design and, per his request, I emailed him a list of what I wanted in a ring and then I backed off so he could design the ring himself.
I got extremely busy with my last semester, so I dropped the ball in helping him with ring ideas after my initial “must haves” list. By the time graduation came around, he hadn’t said a word about it for awhile. I left to finish some field work during the summer and just came back last week. The stone is still sitting under our bed and he has not brought up anything regarding engagement since I’ve been back.
He is from another country and his parents are going to be visiting us in America in October. This is the first time they’ll have visited us, and they want to meet my parents, so now our families will be meeting for the first time. I would have preferred to have been engaged by October so our families can start talking logistics on an international wedding.
I feel like we’ve had so many fits and starts regarding this process. I don’t want to bring it up again just in case he’s planning something or is feeling pressured, but I also think it’s a good idea to be engaged by or around the time our families meet, since this will likely be the only time they meet before the actual wedding. I’m not sure he has even thought about how big of a deal it is that our families are finally meeting and how it’s not possible for them to meet in-person again. It would be so lovely to celebrate an engagement with both of our families together. Logistically, I also wanted to do an initial dress-shopping appointment with my mom and sister and his mom and sister, while the dads and brothers could all bond and get to know each other.
Does anyone else think I should bring it up to possibly get the ball rolling before October? Would you ladies want to be engaged by then too? I sincerely don’t want him to feel pressured if he’s gotten cold feet since we last talked about engagement, so how do I broach this as gently as possible? He told me he wanted to marry me within a month of dating…almost 5 years later (and almost a year after he got serious about engagement!) I feel like it’s time to actually start this process!