(Closed) he hates it!

posted 7 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

how many guests are you having? maybe u can xplain to him that this is a really good deal because… [insert reason] but i think its good sign that he is thinking about your future after the wedding and not wanting to be “reckless” with money (if thats any consolation)

Post # 4
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

If you go somewhere else you’d be settling for something you don’t want, but if you take it, it will come with the sour taste of having it in spite of your FI’s wishes.. It’s all about compromise and finding something that will make you both happy.

When is he set to come see you – maybe you could take him to see it before you book anything? You never know, once he sees it, he may change his mind. If not, back to the drawing board, or you make a deal with him that you take your venue, but he gets to pick other important items, even if you didn’t like them much..

Post # 5
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Write a list of all of the venues you have checked, and the prices. Maybe he just needs a reality check.

Post # 7
Member
2790 posts
Sugar bee

Does he realize that yes, there may be free venues, but those venues also don’t come with tables, chairs, plates, silverwear, cups, a kitchen to cook the food in or a caterer to cook the food. You trade one expense for another when using a free venue and ALL those rentals could end up being more than what you would have paid for to have someone else take care of those headaches for you. I think you should definately show him the place you love and maybe he will fall in love with it. Also, if everything else fails and he thinks he’s so smart, let him do it. Let him search for all these hidden gems he swears exist. Maybe that will give him a taste of his own medicine.

Post # 8
Member
1810 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

In that case, tell him that he needs to come up with a list of, say, 5-10 venues BY OCTOBER, so you guys can visit them together and make a decision then. Make sure he knows you’re serious, because if he actually starts looking, he’ll either a) see that you are right, or b) find the gem he’s looking for. Either way, it’s his turn to do some research because you’ve done the best you can.

Post # 9
Member
401 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Maybe he will feel differently seeing it in person. My FI and I looked at 3 venues, the one we picked was the last one and it was because it was the first place he could picture our wedidng and the first time he started getting into this whole wedding mindset…that’s what he told me when we left there.

Maybe set up a few tours when he’s visiting. Maybe he will realize that while you may be able to get something for a little less it’s not comparable in your eyes to the museum that you love.

Post # 11
Member
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Lol my FI was like this and I made him a spreadsheet detailing my top 15 venue finds, with site fee, charge for add’l hours, other fees what was included/needed to be rented, and any important rules/requirements. He clammed up pretty quick after that. Not only that, but when FILs were bringing up some of the cons about the venue/date (which there are, b/c no place is perfect), he defended it by saying, well she’s been looking for a long time and has done her research and this is the very best we found so that’s how it’s going to have to be! Once you show him that you didn’t just do a quick google search and pick the first one you found, he’ll get it. They really don’t understand all the time and research that goes into every wedding decision.

Post # 12
Member
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Plus I don’t know where you are, but around here $3500 is a darn good deal!

Post # 13
Member
921 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

ya sticker shocking him is the way to go. my fi fell over when he found out i spent 50 for my dress and 25 for my crini (ty craigslist) and he got mad so i made him watch say yes and platinum weddings with me and he relaxed a lot. show him all the prices and things included and let him see how much all this really costs.

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