(Closed) HE HATES MY MOM :(

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

Has he said how your mom was actually acting disrespectfully towards him?  Because it only sounds like he has been disrespectful towards her, and that is pretty rude and not attractive at all, especially directed towards his future mother!!

So far I’m lucky… our families get along pretty well.  Any minor transgressions (usually with FI’s brother) I tend to either ignore or bitch about it to FI in private and then let bygones be bygones the next time we see each other.

Post # 4
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Your mom is right, he is competing for your affection. I know other guys with this problem and all with only children daughters. The only thing you can do is bring it to his attention and let him know that you love him and that you can love them both. It may or may not work, depends on if he’s able to see it or not! 🙁

Post # 5
Member
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Can he tell you what specifically happened that made him feel that way?  Perhaps there was a misunderstanding and you can work it out.  

Post # 6
Member
399 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@mrssoontobeh:  Mom bought us all broadway tickets, he acted childish the whole time. When she tried to talk to him, he was just rude

How old is he?  Your mom could be right he is probably jealous of the close relationship you and your mother have. But that is not an excuse for him to act this way. First of all when a guy wants to marry a woman I feel he should impress you as well try to win your family over. If on the 2nd meeting he acted like that then that needs a serious reality check. If my DH hated my mom for no reason and acted that way it would not fly with me.  You and your mom only have each other don’t let a man ruin that.

Post # 8
Member
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

It sounds like your mother has done nothing to him, for him to HATE her, such a strong word! 

I didn’t have the best realtionship with my in-laws in the beginning, esp my MIL. She wouldn’t talk to me, was short with me, and just not warm nor inviting. But I NEVER would argue with my husband about her. My husband knew that this was an issue his mother had to work out on her own, and he supported me and knew that I was doing everything I could to make her like me.

Personally, I just feel it is really inappropriate to speak very negatively about your SO’s parents. It’s one thing to express feelings if your in-laws said/did something that upset you; but name calling or saying something as strong as “I hate them” is not appropriate in my book. 

Post # 9
Member
34 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

You should definitely talk to him about this issue with your mom.  It’s unfair for him to have so much negative feelings towards her when she really hasn’t done anything to deserve it.  Also, boyfriends may come and go but your mom is your mom forever.

One of my ex-es totally hated my mom and because I was young and stupid, I always took his side when it came to any arguments between the 2 of them.  In the end though, it turned out that he was actually kind of psyco and was telling lies to both my mom and I to get us into arguments to ruin our relationship.  Not saying your SO is crazy like that, but the experience just really put things into perspective for me that while my bf is important he’s not always going to be permanant.  My mom on the other hand will always be there for me, so it’s important that whoever I’m with respects her and our relationship. 

Post # 11
Member
46158 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

This sounds so high school! Maybe even middle school. He meets her twice and Hates her? I would tell him to grow up and give her a chance.

Post # 15
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

From what you have told us, it sounds like this man is possessive. He’s being so disrespectful to your mother for no reason aside from he doesn’t want to share you. He also doesn’t seem to respect you enough to not be disrespectful of your mother, you mention she’s all you have, thats a very bad sign that he’s so against your only support system. Major red flag IMO. He isn’t even willing to try and give the relationship with her a chance by the sounds of it. His behaviour is not only immature, but it shows such a lack of respect for you that the one person that means the most to you and he isn’t even willing to try with her, right off the bat and for no reason. I would be concerned that he will treat you the same way, in the future. Seems like an early warning sign of abuse, to me. 

I may be way overthinking this, it’s entirely possible that your mom did something specific between the 2 meetings, which made him dislike her, that your SO hasn’t mentioned. If he can’t give you concrete reasons why he doesn’t like your mother, I would definitely take that as a warning sign and suggest you look out very carefully for more.

Post # 16
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would never give up spending holidays with my family and future kids because my SO is a fool.

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