Post # 1
Ive been with my boyfriend for 3 years, we’ve lived together for 2. Im not making up excuses for him but he is a spoiled procrastionator. He is used to having people do things for him and when its time for him to do something for himself, he procrastinates or he just doesnt do it at all.
That worries me about my proposal.
Post # 3
Have you guys talked about getting engaged? Maybe he needs something to get the ball rolling.
Post # 4
I agree with @AmeliaBedelia and I would definitely get a feel for where he’s at…he just may not be ready.
If he seems open to it, start sending pictures of rings you like, or even go try rings on together.
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2015 - Garden of the Gods
If you’re feeling this way about him, are you sure you want to marry him?
I waited 7 years for my engagement ring. We lived together for over 6. Sometimes they need more than a subtle hint. Have you talked about his expectations of marriage? My DH had absolutely no intention of thinking about marriage until we were together for 5 years.
Post # 6
I dated my FI for FIVE years before he asked me. It will be six years in may and seven by the time we get married! I totally feel your pain!
We started talking about it before he proposed. Turns out, he was really nervous to ask because he wasn’t sure if I wanted to get married young. He was also really scared to buy a ring and didn’t know what kind of jewelry I like (i’m not a big jewelry person).
I reassured him that I definitely wanted him to ask. I gave him a list of things i wanted in a ring, as well as a few links to rings I liked. He didn’t go with any of the ones I chose, but got a very similar one of better quality.
About six months after we had “the talk”, he asked me!
I’d suggest doing the same, talk to him about it and let him know how much you adore him. Sometimes men need that reassurance just like we do!
If you think he might not be open to “the talk”, then just bring it up casually, without being obvious about your intentions. if you have a friend who was just engaged, you can mention it in passing. Just to get the idea in his head.
Like the other bees said, he might not be ready. Don’t pressure him!
Post # 7
Thanks for your positive responses. We talk about it. We talk about things that we will do when we are married we talk about having kids, as a matter of fact, he does the most talking. Im pretty sure that he wants to but like I said before, he so non-chalant about doing everything.
Here is an example:
He and his ex girlfriend got engaged—-but SHE BOUGHT THE RING. Yes–she bought it. They were together for 5 years and he started talking about marriage for the past 4 years. I believe she saw what Im seeing. His procrastination gets the best of him and he did not physically get up and do anything about it, so that prompetd her to Nag him until he eventually gave her the money and she went and picked out her own ring. He didnt get down on one knee, he didnt ask her. That was it, thats how that got engaged.
I DON”T WANT THAT. I refuse to do that. When others get engaged around us, he ususally comes home and says” did you hear, so and so got engaged”. I try to keep my cool, but it makes me want to yell at him and ask “What the heck is taking you so long”.
He knows that I love him and he knows that I am looking forward to a proposal.
When I tried to tell him what kind of ring I wanted or show him a picture, his response was,” I dont want to know, I will get you what I want you to have and you’ll love it”
Post # 8
Unfortunately, if he already knows you want to get engaged and he is on the same page, there isn’t much you can do now besides wait. 🙁 Try and keep your mind off it with other activities. Have you seen Mr. Bee’s three step plan to getting engaged?
About the last part you wrote in your last comment: did you want to have imput in your engagement ring purchase? If so, you should tell him you’d at least like him to look at the styles you like.
Next time, you may want to post posts like this to the waiting board. They can sympathize with you since they’re all women waiting for a proposal.
Post # 9
Also you said “I don’t want that” therefore, you need to make a tough decision whether or not to continue in the relationship. These are signs that shouldn’t be overlooked. If he’s doing it now before the marriage he probably will be doing the same thing while married.
Post # 10
I know. We’ve talked in general about his procrastination and he says he’s working on it. I told him what I expect out of him and vice versa so we’ll see. Time will tell. And no, ” I DONT” WANT” to get money from him and pick out my own ring.
Post # 11
You are right, all I can do is wait. Its just tough sometimes when people are constantly in your hear asking you the same questions that you have. I tried to show him a ring and he wouldnt look at it. He says he wants to do it on his own.