- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2011
So I know many of you have read my previous posts so I won’t get into all that. He has said he will go to counseling but it took the fact that he may get fired from his job to really realize he needs to go. He texted me yesterday during the day saying he is probably gonna get fired because he screwed up at work again. He has been written up a couple times in the last 2 months for really not paying attention to his work. He has an extremely manual labor job and runs heavy equipment. I almost know for a fact that he is constantly on his phone texting or on the internet. I do not text him unless he texts me and I know he is at break.
So he basically said to me yesterday that he wants to go to counseling because his head isn’t clear and that he has so much going on and has no one to talk to. I made him an appt for tonight. We will see if he actually goes. I don’t think he will. If he does go, I can be almost certain that the blame for all his problems will be put on me. He will not own up to the things he has done or said. He won’t bring up all the nasty things he has said to me and about our son and my girls. He will place all blame on me. I am not going to his appt tonight.
I feel like I have disengaged from our marriage and I just have nothing left for him, which is not really what I want. I am glad he is going to go to counseling but part of me feels as if it’s too late. I am willing to stick it out for a few months to see if things change but there is something telling me they won’t.
I think he just wants everyone to feel sorry for him because his parents are pieces of sh** and don’t call or ever come over. I am frankly tired of talking about them and hearing about them. It pisses me off and makes sick even thinking about them. I don’t ever want to see them. If I do, I will be civil but that’s it.
He did come to my grandma’s house to help move things and the whole time he whined about hating his job and not wanting to go to work. He wonders why people don’t want to be around him. Its because he is miserable and so negative about everything.
I really thought that he would wake up after we had our son. I thought that maybe he would know the love that comes from having a child but he has actually gotten worse. It’s like he just wants to be a father when people are around to see him doing it. Like how his parents only want to be grandparents when there is an audience.
Sorry for the long bitter post. It’s how I am now. I am bitter and just plain not happy. The only time I am happy is when I am with my kids and he is not around. When he is around the girls go to their rooms and I feel like at any moment he will get pissy and snap. There are so many egg shells in our house it feel like a chicken coop.
I don’t even see the point in him going to counseling because he will make himself out to be the victim and has this mean nasty wife who is making him lose his family and friends.
I have brought up to him before that I must be horrific since I manage to get his parents to basically abandon him when he was little and it was before we even met. Man I am EVIL!