Post # 1
My bf of 5 years is moving to another continent for work. He’ll be there for years and probably forever. I can’t go with him because I have to finish my education and it will took me a long time to do it. I could move to him after it maybe.
We planned on getting married but his family told him he should try to work abroad and he agreed. I try not to take it as something personal his family has against me. Or should I?
My bf asked me what I think about it but it’s clearly he wants to go and I won’t stop him.
Can we continue long distance for a few years? I can’t afford to fly to him and see him and I’m not sure if he could come and see me more than once a year.
We love eachother but this is so hard. I really don’t know what to do?
Post # 2
lovetravel: its going to be hard, but if you truly love eachother, you will find a way to make it work. A friend of mine is goig through this right now. Its not easy, but they make it work.
Post # 3
My SO and I had been together for nearly 3 years when I went away to law school across the country. We saw one another once every 3-4 months or so during the school year and then I found summer jobs where he was so we could be together then. Obviously, this is still much different from your situation where you would see eachother much less, but we managed just fine and it ended up strengthening our relationship because we can look back and know that our love for one another was strong enough to go through that.
With all that technology offers, long distance isn’t as difficult as I imagine it once was. We texted each other all the time, were on the phone or gchatting for hours each night, and we often “watched” shows/movies together in the evenings by logging into Netflix or Hulu, starthing videos at the same time, and then gchatting about it live.
For me personally, I should add that I truly cherished those 3 years apart from him because I was able to discover more of my own individual strength and independence. Before I left, we did everything together and while that was great, we always had to agree on what to cook, what to do on weekends, etc. I had missed the “do whatever I want” aspect of my single years and tried to approach my time in law school as one where I was in a committed relationship with the man I loved, but also one where I could also exercise my independence more and discover myself. I formed close friendships that I wouldn’t have had he and I been physically together (since I would have essentially just gone to class and returned home to be with him had we not been long distance, and instead I would stick around at school after class and hang out with friends), I was able to spend more time focusing on my studies, and even was finally able to lose some weight because I was able to control my diet better (no being tempted by his “non-diet” meals!). Most importantly though, at the end of the day, when I came home, we knew we were in it for the long haul if we could make it through that and both gained so much confidence in our relationship.
Long story short, I think you will be fine. It takes hard work, but it’s worth it. Good luck!
Post # 4
So maybe I’m the odd duck here, but why can’t you move with him? Take online classes or see about transferring to a university over there? Not only will you be with the man you love, but an opportunity to experience a new culture!
Post # 5
Ckasnoff: I agree….why not go to classes over there….I have taken classes with students from other countries….its really not that odd….my little sister next year is going to transfer to a college in Germany to study a year over there…..you can do online classes from anywhere….