He is wearing jeans to our wedding!?!?!?!?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@JessicaJupiter:  Ehhh pick your battles. Guest wardrobe isn’t something you can approach tactfully. It’s common courtesy to dress nicely for a wedding, but it isn’t required. Don’t let it ruin your day!

Post # 4
9019 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yikes.  It would bother me, too, because of the pictures mostly.  Can your FI ask his grandfather to please purchase a nice pair of pants just for the wedding?  Good grief, who doesn’t own at least one pair of dress pants?  Does he wear jeans to funerals, too, lol?

Post # 5
5460 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Unfortunately, you can’t really tell other grown adults how to dress.  You’ve tried to make sure he knows how others will be dressed, and it’s up to him to choose to fit in or not.


That said, if he wears jeans, then HE is the one who will stick out.  It will not reflect poorly upon you.


ETA- for photos, have him stand in the back if he’s in ratty ass jeans.

Post # 6
1793 posts
Buzzing bee

Leave it alone.  he only owns jeans.  Be more interested in the face in the pictures than the pants he is wearing.

Post # 9
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@JessicaJupiter:  i don’t think its something you should be freaking out about… in the future (once gpa has passed) you aren’t going to be looking at the jeans, but rather that he was able to be present that day… like other people have said, pick your battles, this isn’t something to worry about.

Post # 10
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

It’s such a small thing for him, but such a big thing for you.

Won’t somebody just please buy the man a pair of dress pants? I know some seniors live on fixed incomes, but it’s 30$ at Walmart!  Maybe FI’s mother/father/aunt/uncle can do it.  And a pair of loafers while they’re at it, so he doesn’t show up in white running shoes. 

Post # 11
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t think it’s unreasonable for your fiance to suggest that his grandfather wear slacks. And if he needs help, to take him o get some or to pick some up for him. It can just be a gentle suggestion, and because everyone is going to be in family pictures etc etc…

If that doesn’t go over well, just let it go. As adeharo210 said, after his Gpa passes, you’ll just thank god he was in your pictures at all.

Post # 12
559 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Either drop it, or buy him pants and ask if he’d be willing to wear them at the wedding. But if he says no or seems embarassed, back off. It’s not worth arguing over. Annoying, yes, but not worth it. Plus, after he passes away one day, you might look at those wedding pictures of him in his jeans and have very fond memories.

Post # 13
303 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@JessicaJupiter:  Are you sure the grandpa is actually serious? Is it possible he was joking? No matter what his income or wardrobe situation is, I find it hard to believe that anyone, let alone someone who has been on this earth a long time, would seriously consider jeans an appropriate option for a wedding…

Post # 14
6948 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@JessicaJupiter:  Give him a gift certificate to a nice store near you as a “thank you for his support of your relationship” or something. Although, I don’t think it’s a huge deal. I know people who are just “jeans people” because that’s their lifestyle. For pictures he could just stand toward the back and you’d never know the difference. A good photog will keep an eye on those kinds of things. 

Post # 15
4134 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Oh My God.  He only owns one pair of pants, which to me says the man can’t afford more. And your first inclination is to be mad about how he will look in pictures?? How do you respond? Offer to buy the man a pair of pants. Have FI take him out shopping and check in on him to make sure he’s not okay. Many elderly people live in pverty. I would kill to have my grandparents in my pictures. But they all died in the 90’s when I was a kid. I’m sorry, but I think you are being incredibly self centred. 

Post # 16
24 posts
  • Wedding: December 2013

I think it depends what kind of relationship you/your FI have with him. Maybe your in laws could have a quiet word and/or buy him an alternative pair of trousers? If he’s the kind of guy that wouldn’t react well to that though, it’s probably best just to leave it. He won’t be in all the photos. 

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