He keeps saying annoying comments

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@dessilove:  Um, if he was home, why wasn’t HE helping make dinner?

Is this all coming from him or are his parents complaining as well?  Does his mom expect you to be the house maid in exchange for rent? Does your FI feel that as the owner of the vagina, housework and cooking is your job?  Do you feel that you are doing your fair share of work?

Frankly, I think you should move out since he/they appear to resent your living there. 

Do NOT buy a house with a man who has no commitment to you. 

Post # 4
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

What does HE do all day? He has a lot of balls to call you lazy because you aren’t acting as his servant. I would have a SERIOUS problem marrying someone who thought I was lazy when I was always busting my butt in school, work and at home.

Post # 5
2576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Zhabeego:  +1

As usual, Zhabeego is spot on. Honestly, I could never date much less marry a guy who calls me a “lazy ass” and expects me to be his maid just b/c I don’t have a pen!s. Sorry.

Post # 6
2114 posts
Buzzing bee

@dessilove:  Yeah I am surious how his parents are about the situation? Does his mom seem grateful? Does she make any comments to him about it?


Even so, he shouldn’t say things like that to you. It could have been discussed in a much better manner. Once everyone is calm I would try to sit down and have a discussion. maybe he doesn’t see the extra help you give to his mom around the house? Hopefully you pointing it out and seeing as it doesn’t sound like he does anything – he will apologize.


Just tell him exactly what you said above about how it is hard to be a good housewife under someone elses roof and I agree with other PP – why couldn’t HE help with dinner?


Post # 7
2302 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@dessilove:  wow your boyfriend is incredibly rude and disrespectful. there is no way i would tolerate being spoken to that way. i would have responded, ‘i don’t want to marry a disrespectful bully that has no issue swearing and calling me names’. and i would MEAN IT

Post # 8
303 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@dessilove:  Your fiance showed a serious lack of respect for you by swearing at you.  Make a list of all the things you DO…show him that, on top of your school and work pursuits, you still find time to do your fair share (and then some). Is there somewhere you can go for a few days to give yourself some space to really think about your relationship? It would be over if my fiance ever yelled and swore at me.  You definitely need to invest some reflection time here…

Post # 9
8847 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

@MsJ2theZ:  +1

Wow.  You should make sure that he has reasonable expectations of you before you get any further!  Yikes.  

And that’s not even touching on the really rude and kind of cruel way he talks to you… that would not be ok in my book!  Even when my husband is fucking pissed at me, he still treats me with respect.

Post # 10
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Zhabeego:  +1,000. I’d never be with someone who talked to me like that and wanted me to be a stepford wife. His mother can’t manage dinner on her own? I’d rather pay rent than deal with that nonsense. The cost of freedom!

Post # 11
2675 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

I agree that I would never put up with an SO/FI speaking to me that way with such disrespect. I’d be out the door.

Post # 12
352 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

After reading your post, my first thought was that this isn’t really him talking. Are you on good terms with his parents? I just wonder if they are giving your FI an earful, which is making him tense around home and act out towards you.

This isn’t an excuse though. I would be very cautious and try to work this all out before you get married…if that’s the plan eventually. I know that I would not be okay with my DH all of a sudden having certain expectations about my role in our relationship without a proper discussion.

But all that said, I’m sorry you’re going through this. Hang in there and try to talk to your FI about all this. 


Post # 13
2474 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Hmm… you really want to be with a man that treats you this way?! What he said aside, that is unacceptable, and a real issue. If he is just now starting to talk to you this way, what makes you think he won’t continue to do so, and further degrade you throughout the course of your relationship?

Post # 15
5812 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

@dessilove:  Why didnt he help his Mom with dinner? If he already doesnt do any housework and is mad at you for not doing enough…and you marry him…you will spend your life being his maid (and prob called names because it will never be as good as his stay at home Mom).

PLUS, he called you a name–BYE BYE! I’m not the neatest person and I’ve been unemployed, so in reality I have time to clean, but I dont. But DH would never call me lazy or a lazy ass. So disrespectful.

I would start looking for your own place or a new roommate!

Post # 16
1634 posts
Bumble bee

Woah… Not acceptable. First I would ask him where that came from because if this is the first time you’re actaully hearing about it, besides a few random comments, its maybe coming from his parents. If he ACTUALLY feels that way i would get out of there so fast he wouldnt even realize what happened until I was moved into my own place. That is NOT ok to talk to ANYONE like that. And what was he so busy doing that he can hurl insults and criticims at you, but couldnt go lend his mom a hand his damn-self! I hate when men behave that way, its disgusting.

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