(Closed) He ordered the ring, I signed for the delivery. He's devastated.

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
5081 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

poor guy!

The proposal itself will still be a surprise – you knew approximately when the ring would arrive anyway.

Tell him not to let this get him down.  Sometimes things happen.  This can’t be changed but it doesn’t have to take the happiness out of the rest of it.

(he might want to call FedEx and let them know what happened.  Maybe he’ll save someone else from going thru the same thing)

  

Post # 4
Member
857 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

At this point I would keep your mouth absolutely shut. To everyone. Do not mention the ring, a future, an impending engagement, FedEx, packages, ANYTHING! – just drop it all. You know it’s coming, and he wants to do it his way – so let him. He’s already upset, so do not do anything to make him think you’re waiting on him, or getting impatient. Just chill on it all. 

Post # 5
Member
1839 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@futuregattman:  he can still surprise you.  i thought i knew when my ring was arriving but it got there one day early and iw as super surprised.  but it’s not like you have any idea what day he’ll do it on or how, so he needs to just get past his disappointment since there’s nothing either of you can do about you signing for it at this point

Post # 6
Member
6209 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

I don’t understand how he thought it was fine you knew that he ordered it, but not that you knew it was here- things that get ordered generally arrive. You knew it was coming! This doesn’t change anything, he’s being silly.

Post # 8
Member
1404 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@futuregattman:  It’s unfortunate that the ring arrived early and that your SO is upset about it, but he can still surprise you with how, when and where the proposal takes place.

Post # 9
Member
1417 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Oh no! My FI would be so upset also if that happened! The day we got back ( 2 days after he proposed) there was mail from the jewlery store! They swore to him they wouldn’t mail anything! ugh!

 

  I wouldn’t mention a thing. Don’t even try to cheer him up any more. Pretend you forgot about it all together! Good luck!!

Post # 11
Member
11227 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Depending on your FI’s sense of humor, perhaps you both can agree to turn this source of regret into something fun and secret that’s meaningful to you and shared only between the two of you for now, by your both agreeing to pretend that you signed for something OTHER than a ring. 

You both could begin jokingly referring to the package as this other item instead of a ring. I know it sounds a little silly, but it may help to take the pressure off of him so that you both can — obviously knowingly — agree to teasingly pretend that you didn’t sign for your own ring but rather as his box of whatever (perhaps a rare baseball card or autographed baseball, his favorite football jersey, a part for a classic car he’s restoring, engraved cufflinks, whatever would be fun or funny for both of you) until after the engagement.  This then could become part of your engagement story. 🙂

Post # 12
Hostess
7568 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

@kariface:  I agree, and I don’t think she’s talking about you telling other people. Since there’s nothing you can do to make him feel better, act like it never happened. If you don’t talk about the ring/engagement, he’ll feel like he can surprise you again.

Post # 14
Member
2782 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Awe, I would tell him you likely would have figured it out beforehand anyways, especially since you already knew the ring was ordered. Once the ring is bought, all chances of a surprise proposal are out the window, the specific way he asks will be the only surprise.

Post # 15
Member
3423 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

*sigh* if only some of us had your problems….le sigh

Post # 16
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My FI and I picked out my ring together, and I pretty much figured out when he picked it up.  Knowing he had it didn’t affect anything.  He got the ring in July, but didn’t propose until September.  I made a point to make him be the one to look for the lost XYZ because I wanted to make sure I didn’t stumble upon it.  I hope your SO doesn’t make you wait that long!

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