Post # 1
So I talk about getting married a fair bit these days and he has obviously realised that I am waiting and have been more actively waiting recently. I’m keen, let’s put it that way. But he’s just not ready. He thinks we need a few years to be in a financial situation where we can afford a wedding and so he can’t imagine himself proposing now, at a time when he doesn’t think a wedding is something we can afford.
The really silly thing?
The other weekend at the beach, we made a deal that IF I win the lotto, he will marry me right away.
The really, really silly thing?
Since then, I have found myself buying lotto tickets even though I know my chances of winning are so tiny that I’m just wasting money I could be saving for an eventual wedding. Aaaaargh!
Any other bees had their SO made an impossible deal with them like this?
Post # 3
Well it makes sense. I see his oint of view. If the wedding is important, then financially you will need the money to get married. However, being engaged for a couple years isn’t bad either. You could always tell him you don’t mind a longer engagement.
Sounds like your guy is a ducks in a row kinda guy. Hopefully you win the lotto soon!!
Post # 4
@Cash000: Ducks in a row? I’ve never heard that expression before……..
Post # 5
Well I guess I mean kind of like, he likes to have everything in order, step by step kind of goals. Instead of, ” Go with the flow”. I may have used the term incorrectly though!!
Post # 6
@Cash000: Yeah, that he is. But the point is that an engagement gives you time to save up! I have said all of this, of course. It’s just frustrating. If money is the only thing stopping him (which it must be if he said yes to the lotto thing, even though he has previously said he doesn’t feel emotionally ready either), then I am just going out of my mind trying to think up magical ways to get rich quick!
Post # 7
If my FI said he’d only marry me if I got rich, I’d tell him I’d only marry him if he sprouted a 9″ penis.
Seriously. I just dont understand why people let money come in the way of getting married. It costs $50 at the court house to get married. If you’re only getting married to have a wedding, well then, that’s a different story altogether.
Post # 8
let’s remember what the real meaning of marriage is here people… love, not a $30,000 circus.
Post # 9
Did he give you an ammount you had to win, cause it’s relatively easy to win like 5 bucks, so keep trying!
Post # 10
Your bf is a very smart man. Do you want to be 5000, 10000, 30000 or more in debt? Probably not…. so do yourself a favor and open a savings account on the side and just throw money in there that way you know you’re getting yourself closer just be doing so.
Post # 11
What if he wins the lottery?
Post # 12
Some men feel like they can’t get married unless they can financially support their wife and future family. Maybe he doesn’t care about paying for the wedding. Maybe it’s the mortgage and the babies that he’s thinking about.
I don’t think it’s right or wrong of him to feel that way. He wants to be able to support you and your dreams. There’s probably also financial pressure related to the ring. I’m guessing you’ll have to wait until he’s ready. I’ve read about very few bees whose BFs changed their minds about being “financially secure” before getting engaged, let alone married.
Post # 13
@Cash000: You used the term “ducks in a row” correctly. I just don’t think it’s a term that’s used in the UK.
@VickyAurea: Stop buying lottery tickets!!! LOL!
Post # 14
If I were you I would totally buy a fake “winning” ticket and scratch it in front of him and then watch his reaction when you “win”!!!!
Also…..even if you win $2.00 on a lottery ticket you still are techinically winning the lottery….
Post # 15
Is it about marrying him or having a wedding? He has a point if it’s a wedding you want, but if it’s just about tying the knot, well, that really doesn’t cost very much.
Post # 16
Mt fi felt the same way… he said he would only propose when we were financially stable with solid jobs. I was frustrated at the time, but he was right. I would not have taken kindly to a three or four year engagement, waiting around to have the money for a wedding. Instead, he proposed as soon as we were settled, and a year later, we’re getting married. It’s worth the wait.