He sent flowers to another girl

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
msjackrabbitMember
1080 posts
Bumble bee

@VCWedding:  ‘Part’ of her birthday present? What else did he get her? Do you guys spend a lot of money on each other for birthdays? Does he spend this amount of money on any other friends? What’s their relationship like? Are you friends with her?

These are the questions I would ask. There is so much extra info that needs to be given before I could assess the situation.

If he NEVER does anything like this, it would be weird. If he has a history of buying people expensive things, I wouldn’t really see it as that much of an issue.

Although maybe you could say “babe – I know you probably meant well, but you DO realise sending a girl flowers is a romantic gesture? I don’t want you to confuse the poor girl…”

My FI has no idea that his actions can have implications. If he doesn’t find a girl attractive, he wouldn’t even think that something like that could be interpreted differently, because he wouldn’t have intended it to look that way. Sometimes boys are silly.

Post # 4
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Honestly, I would be pissed too in that situation. 80 is pretty expensive for just a friend AND 80 worth of flowers would send a message of some sort and it’s for her birthday? If it was for recovery or congrats then it’s totally cool. hmmm

Post # 6
Member
583 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@VCWedding:  Wow, $80 is a lot to spend on flowers. Unless if she was like one of his bestest best friends I would be a bit upset. If it were a $15 bunch of flowers and a card, I’d think that was thoughtful and polite.. but $80 is a lot of money!

Post # 7
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@VCWedding:  man Im more annoyed after you said he spends about the same for you?! the money is not the point but it’s kinda disrespectful that you are the same with some random girl IMO AND it’s not like he always spends like that for other friends.

whats up with that. Have you asked him?

Post # 10
Member
4220 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Oh hell no. I’d be pissed.

Post # 11
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@VCWedding:  hmmm Im so with you!. Sorry I don’t have any advice though…maybe tell him exactly how that makes you feel and maybe he will get it. I hope there’s nothing further than just being nice like he says

Post # 12
Member
349 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

I think it’s weird. $80 is quite a bit to spend on flowers, and as PPs said sending someone flowers on their birthday sounds more like something you’d do for a loved one not a casual friend. I’d question him a bit more about it, but take comfort in the fact that he’s not attempting to hide it from you. He left the receipt out in the open where you could see it and answered you truthfully when you asked what it was for. Now, if he’d hidden or trashed the receipt then acted embarrassed or made up a lame excuse when you asked who they were for, that would be a red flag. So I say it’s weird, but don’t jump to any conclusions just yet. 

Post # 13
Member
1773 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think finances are the least if your worries in this situation… I would do some serious investigation about why he’s sending such a romantic, sweet gesture to another girl.

Post # 14
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee

I don’t think you’re overreacting – I’d be pretty upset if I was in the situation.

But like RipleyC said, at least he’s not trying to hide it, and he has been honest. I probably just doesn’t realise that others would see it as romantic.

How open are you with your SO? I know if something like this happened in my relationship, I’d openly say to him that I feel quite upset and jealous that he would send flowers to a friend but not to me. But in our relationship, that’s just the kind of openess we have. So if you have that kind of openess, you can always let him know how it made you feel.

Post # 15
Member
5518 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2012

So a workout bracelet she really wanted and expensive ass flowers, sent to a female friend?  To me this has red flags all over the place.  It would be different if shes been around from childhood or something, but she’s been in his life just as long as you.

Post # 16
Member
5518 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2012

oops double.

 

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