He wants 5 kids… I'm shocked!! Pros and cons?

posted 3 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
1421 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

My guess is that might change after the first one or two . . .

Post # 4
Member
2134 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

FI and I both come from families of three children. His family is three boys and mine is three girls. We both want 3 kids (I lean a little more towards 4, but am willing to stick with 3) – and we both would ideally like a boy and a girl (it doesn’t matter to either of us what the third child is).

Post # 5
Member
1355 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - Vine Street Church

We’re planning to have three, but the joke is that if he makes enough money that I don’t have to work and can stay home with kids, we’ll have more (it’s not gonna happen, lol).

I come from a very small family — I only have two cousins, and that’s including both sides of the family — so I know nothing about large families. My husband, however, comes from a family where three or four kids is pretty standard, though he’s an only child. He thinks it’s annoying to have so many because he doesn’t know a good number of his cousins’ names :x.

Post # 8
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

I’m the oldest of 5 and it was great! My mom spaced us out, with usually 3 years in between, except for my sister, who was sort of an empty nester kid and is 19 years younger than me. We were always broke growing up, but I think I learned a lot of flexibilty from my family. And I absolutely LOVE my siblings, so having 4 of them is awesome. 

Post # 10
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

The only cons against large family that I see are:

Time and attention the parents gets with each child, nurturing a great relationship

financial- which sacrifices as a family you make to affird that many children, thisbis total judgment call. Some parents are not planning to pay for their kids education or put them in alot of activities or have the desire to buy new clothes and toys for them. If you are parent that wanta to do those things having 5 kids yiur budget may not stretch. Or you may just not want to have to have a budget that stretches.

How long do yiu want to be raising kids. Unless you havr them all at one time or back to back potty ttraining,  homework and giving rides may be your life.

It’s hard for career women to keep leaving the workforce on mat leavr or extended periods of time abd still earn a decent salary and move up in their profession.

 

For those reasons I want one and maybe two max.

Post # 12
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee

lol My FI is the same way, he’s just been pretty open with it from the start. I’ve always wanted 4, he wants 6. I also have thing about not wanting an odd number of kids, so he jokes that we will get to 3, then he will “bust out twins” so we have five, which means we Have to have 6! If only it worked that way! 

I also realise (which I’m not sure he has) that our planned family size will probably change after the first baby arrives! 

Post # 13
Member
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I agree with @bluegreenjean:  after he gets the 1st or 2nd he will change his mind.

My husband and I found out we were expecting just a month after getting married.  We just had the conversation on how many kids we each wanted and I flat out told him “I have to carry these children so I get the final say so”.  We agreed on 2 LOL

Post # 14
Member
2134 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@kfiorita:  I’m a middle child and never once felt like I was left out, ignored or anything like that! I love being the middle child, actually. I feel like I’m closer to both of my sisters than they are to each other.

@Luvnseptember:  +1 I always say that too – I have to push them out of my vagina, I get to pick how many I have of them.

Post # 15
Member
3097 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - A court...

We don’t have any kids but I / we just want one or two (if that). I have wb older brother (he is only a couple years older) & my three younger siblings are at least 8 years younger & I wish I was the last one lol. Not anymore of course, but when I was younger + lived at home. Plus it seems like a lot of work, I don’t think I’m up for it. Assuming I went for two kids (absolute max lol) there would be at least an 8 year difference. I want to spoil & give as much attention to my kid(s). Not saying its not possible if you have a lot of kids, but I wouldn’t be able to do it.

Post # 16
Member
7098 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Maybe you could show him the pricing on daycare centers. lol.

 

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