(Closed) He wants a ceremony, I want to elope: How to compromise?

posted 2 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 2
1055 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - Loft

TheGridMonster:  I’m with you! Fi and i had a hard time agreeing on our exact wedding scenario but reached a good compromise. We’re having a small ceremony here with only immediate family. 20 guests tops, then we are eloping to New York for a NYE wedding where we will exchange our rings and personalized vows.  I think it satisfies what we both want plus we get a built in honey moon!

Post # 3
2551 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

You can do a domestic destination wedding! Invite 50, and it’s likely only half will show 😉

Post # 4
1592 posts
Bumble bee

How would you feel about a low key elopement,  then coming back home and having some kind of semi-fancy reception?  You could wear something nice that isn’t the big puffy white gown that makes you the center of attention at all times.  That way you both get a bit of what you want.

Post # 5
3432 posts
Sugar bee

What about just a simple justice of the piece and a nice reception like some people have said?  I didn’t want the wedding, husband wanted at least a reception, so we did the justice of the peace and had a lovely reception after the fact.  It ended up working out great for us.

Post # 6
28 posts
  • Wedding: Ancaster Mill

We are having a destination wedding in Punta Cana next year. We will only be 20-25 people, which is actually more than I was hoping but it’s still better than a big ceremony at home, for me anyway. Only immediate family and a few closest friends. It’ll be casual and low-key.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by  jm2015.
Post # 8
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

My husband and I had the same issue; we ended up doing immediate family only (about 40 people total). That included a good chunk of friends; I imagine that if you limited it to immediate only (moms, dads, siblings, grandparents, no aunts or uncles), you’d be under 50. Up to the last minute, I did some moaning about how we should have eloped, but in the end I am so glad those people were there. I hate being the center of attention too, and I didn’t want to spend money, but in the end I didn’t spend much more than if we had eloped with the fancy dress and photographer (people forget those things cost the same no matter how many guests!), and I was so entranced with my fiance during the ceremony that I hardly knew anyone else was there.

My aunt threw a casual pizza party for the rest of the family to celebrate, so everyone got their way in the end!

Post # 9
6439 posts
Bee Keeper

My situation is a lot like yours. I would be satisfied with just signing the papers with an officiant, but FI wanted a pastor to bless the marriage and invite a small group of family and friends. To compromise, we are having a ceremony with the pastor and witnesses (and photographer for a little photoshoot) in the winter and then a few months later re-enacting our vows as we celebrate in the presence of about 60 family and friends. I’m excited about having 2 inexpensive but cute dresses, 2 wedding cakes, 2 honeymoon trips, etc. We were both willing to compromise, so it has worked out.

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