(Closed) He wants lots of groomsmen because thats what he's seen on TV and in movies

posted 5 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Member
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

How many bridesmaids are you having?  Since he says “that’s what I’ve seen in the movies,” you can pull the whole, “There have to be the same number of groomsmen and bridesmaids…”

Post # 5
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Make him watch Steel Magnolia’s, just the wedding scene when she has 8 bridesmaids walking up the aisle and how crazy that is.  Then you can tell him he’s seen crazy in a movie lol

Post # 6
Member
1963 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would be upset!  I love your response to “what he’s seen on tv and movies.”  Big ring indeed.

I would talk to him about “quality vs. quantity.”  I would think having his best friend and brother would be appropriate, but nobody else.  I would also say the bridal party is there to support you on an important day, and you wouldn’t want acquantances or fairweather friends for that.

Also, when you explained to him about the costs, were you specific?  Did you mention bridal party gifts, maybe extra room for plus ones bringing up costs, etc.?  Also, if I weren’t close to someone, I would think it strange to be invited in their bridal party!  Just some things to think about but… I agree with you, it’s inappropriate.

Post # 7
Member
964 posts
Busy bee

My daughter had the same issue with her fiance he wants 5 groomsmen and she only wanted 3 Bridesmaid and 3 groomsmen.  Men don’t realise everytime they expand the Bridal Party they expand the expense.  That’s 5 x dresses, hair, make-up, shoes, flowers and the extra transport required that I now have to pay for. I guess it’s also their wedding day and one of the few things they get a say in, told my daughter to go with the flow.

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 8
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

Does he have the salary of theose TV and movie actors too|? 

That’ll cost a lot of money to have the wedding he sees instead of the wedding you can afford!

Is he afraid of not “keeping up with the Joneses”?

Post # 9
Member
7796 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I agree his reason is ridiculous. And the size of the bridal party should be agreed together – he can’t just have 8 guys if you’re not happy with it. How many BMs are you thinking of having?

Plus it’s waaaay weird that you’re never met 6 of them. How close is he to them? It sounds to me like those 6 are old buddies, they’re not as close as they were, and they’d be better as guests.

Post # 12
Member
5479 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I say let him have his huge gaggle of men, and you have just your MOH since that’s what you prefer.  When it comes time to choose wedding party gifts, you’ll be the one smiling 🙂

Post # 13
Member
7796 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Beautiful Bluegrass:  Yeah i was going to guess college buddies. I don’t think they need to be GMs. I like your idea of only a MOH. Though if he’s got two close guys, maybe you can do two on each side. We did only two (me: sister and best friend, him: brother and best friend). I had some very dear university friends but I just had them as regular guests.

Post # 15
Member
5479 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Beautiful Bluegrass:  I would try to talk to him again, and let him know that if he REALLLLY wants that many people, then it’s ok, and you can just have your one person.  Maybe make an excel spreadsheet or something with expenses clearly outlined and maybe he’ll see it differently.  You don’t HAVE to have an open bar, you can host beer and wine, but if he insists on having liquor, pull out the spreadsheet and let him see that adding to the booze budget is going to take away from another area.  Guys tend to be more visual, so if you can SHOW him on a chart it might help him see your point of view a little more easily.

Post # 16
Member
4313 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

So we all get what we’ve seen on TV & movies now because that’s what he saw?  I’m sorry that seems extremely juvenile.  He needs to compromise with you… I just don’t think his reasoning has any valid substinence…surely he must realize that.

I mean you don’t come home one day with $5,000 shoes because that’s what you “saw on Sex and the City” today.

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