(Closed) He Wants To Have A Baby .. NOW!

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Should I start trying to get pregnant
    right now.. if he's ready and you are too, why wait? : (46 votes)
    37 %
    After you get engaged in the summer : (16 votes)
    13 %
    After you get married in Spring 2012 : (50 votes)
    40 %
    Other (I'll explain below) : (12 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 3
    1543 posts
    Bumble bee

    I’d tell him this: The second we’re engaged, we can start makin’ babies 🙂

    Post # 4
    622 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2011 - Vandiver Inn

    I think there’s another compromise that could be made to give you both of the things you want. Why not push up the wedding itself? Aim for late summer or early fall 2011 and then start trying to get pregnant right afterwards. That way you can start trying for the baby sooner, but still have your dress and champagne.

    Post # 5
    962 posts
    Busy bee



    This is a difficult one. I personally hate the whole “biological clock” thing, but it is reality. At 30, I still feel too young to even consider kids. My mother had me at 42 and I think she was a better mother for having waited so long. Still, you are not in a position to wait forever. I think this is a very personal choice that you need to make with your doctor and your SO. Do you want more than one child? If so, you may really need to start trying now.

    Post # 6
    1664 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Given your age, your FH’s military status, and the fact that you are both ready, I would start trying right now.  It may take a while to get pregnant, and you may only have until July to try if he gets deployed.  If having a biological child is a top priority for you, I think you should start now. 

    Post # 7
    3943 posts
    Honey bee

    Can you push up the engagement and/or wedding? And then try immediately after that?

    Post # 8
    7975 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I know that every timeline has a lot of reasons behind it, but if either of you isn’t ready to commit yet (even in the slightest), I don’t think having a child together is your best option.

    I would wait until post-proposal, at least, and even consider bumping the wedding up six months/re-evaluating your timeline to accomodate your desire to have a child. (But then, I’m old fashioned and wouldn’t want to have a baby outside of marriage, personally.)

    Post # 9
    6394 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    That’s a tough one. I’m a bit old fashioned, too. Would you be happy pushing the wedding up? You could always simplify it and just have a nice wedding in a restaurant or something local.

    I can totally see where you guys are coming from, though. Just make sure you fully talk everything out and that you’re both comfortable with the decision.

    Post # 10
    22 posts
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Only you know what’s best for you, but if I were in your situation I would do a court house wedding to make things legal, have a reception in the near future, and start baby-making in the mean time!

    Post # 12
    390 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    I voted other. At 40 years old you are a grown woman and can make your own decisions, buuuuuut this is my opinion:

    Have a civil ceremony first.

     I think it’s romantic that you are both so excited for a baby, and can totally understand why you would want to get preggerz before the Mr. deploys. The logical part of me however says make it legal first. Nothing says you can’t have a fantastic celebration afterward!

    Post # 13
    64 posts
    Worker bee

    As a very pregnant bride, I will tell you, it is not the end of the world. In fact, I think it has helped me keep my perspective on a lot of stuff. Our wedding is next week, and I’ll be 7.5 months. I do not have the time or energy to sweat the small stuff, I don’t care that one of my bridesmaids refuses to buy the color shoes I asked, or take offense to all the strange comments and requests people make about weddings, best of all, I don’t have to worry about my weight, I’m going to gain weight, it’s just going to happen.

    Our wedding has been boiled down to what is most important, we love one another, that we are starting our lives and a family together.

    I say start and see what happens. I tried planning everything in life and still ended up in a very good but unexpected spot.

    Post # 14
    2161 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I was waiting for my ex to want to get married, and ended up TTC.   He left when my son was 7 months old.   I know that marriage isn’t the absolute way to raise a family, but I am definitely waiting until after the wedding with my finance this time.

    Can you do a quick destination wedding while you would be pregnant?  You probably won’t want to do one with a newborn.

    Post # 16
    14337 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    If it were me, I would do a small ceremony now and start TTC right away.  You can still have the ‘dream’ wedding, but maybe on a faster and smaller scale.  I know what you mean about getting married this same year that the divorce was finalized, but this is about the future, not the past.  If you see the future with this man and having a baby with him, and time really ticking, just go for it. 

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