(Closed) He wants to invite his Ex Wife… Please give me advice!!!

posted 7 years ago in Encore
Post # 3
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

Honestly I think that’s really inappropriate. There is no reason that one of your husband’s family members can’t help keep an eye on his son for the night.  Or you can hire a babysitter.  I would tell your FI that you are really uncomfortable with the idea of her being there and you need to come up with a different option. 

Post # 4
Member
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

If they have a good relationship, I would think it would be a nice gesture. But if there is any hostility between them, NO

Post # 5
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Why don’t you just go ahead and hire a babysitter?

It seems like you might want someone to be able to watch/entertain your daughter. Get someone the kids know and like (or pay a teenage cousin or neice). That way you can say you already have it taken care of and you don’t have to have her there.

Post # 6
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Here’s some advice – SAY NO and hire a real babysitter. You’ll be really uncomfortable with her there and I think it’s really inappropriate for him to have suggested it if the both of you do not have a good relationship with her. it would be one thing if it was amicable and you got along with her (which is rare, but has been known to happen) but as it stands, ummmm no. Hire a sitter that didn’t used to be married to your FI.

Post # 7
Member
1003 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think this is kinda weird and inconsiderate. I think it is great he wants his son there but find appropriate babysitting arrangements, ie: not his ex-wife being at the wedding/reception. I think you really need to voice that this makes you uncomfortable and that it would be considered really inappropriate. It would be wayyy different if you guys were all buddy-buddy but that is obviously not the case.

Post # 8
Member
2209 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Yeah, it doesn’t exactly sound like she is going to be a well-wisher.

Could one of your sets of parents watch the kids?

Post # 9
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Tell him you’ve hired an older cousin/family friend/teenager/etc. as a baby sitter.  Inviting an ex wife that you have a bad relationship seems inappropriate to me. 

Post # 10
Member
829 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

ABSOULTELY. NO. WAY!!! Hire a babysiter for sure. This is your day and having her there is just plain creepy if you ask me.

Post # 11
Member
2821 posts
Sugar bee

Plenty of options to choose for a babysitter without it being the ex-wife.

Post # 12
Member
2634 posts
Sugar bee

FI has a fairly decent relationship with his ex-w and I *still* wouldn’t feel comfortable with her at our wedding.

We’re actually compromising a little bit.  She’s coming down to San Diego (she lives in LA) and when it’s time for the kiddos to leave 10-ish probably) she is going to come get them.  We’re paying for her hotel in order to make this happen.

Post # 13
Member
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

If you’re uncomfortable with there then you should have a talk with your FI and let him know. There’s no reason why she should be there, a babysitter can always be hired. Bottom line, if you’re uncomfortable with it, you need to make it clear to him and then figure out a solution. It seems odd that he  wold consider inviting her to the wedding, even if it is as a “babysitter”.

Post # 14
Member
829 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I dont understand why you cant just hire a babysitter for a 1/4 of the price? Why is he determined to have her babysit? Does she babysit for everything else as well?

Post # 15
Member
1585 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Yeah… that would not fly with me.  I suggest getting a babysitter to watch the kids during the wedding.

Post # 16
Member
14784 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Um, yeah, NO! This is your day. My mom and dad have a great “ex” relationship, but she never would have gone to my dads wedding. It’s just not done.

The topic ‘He wants to invite his Ex Wife… Please give me advice!!!’ is closed to new replies.

Get our weekly roundup of the best of Weddingbee.
I agree to receive emails from the site. I can withdraw my consent at any time by unsubscribing.

Find Amazing Vendors