Post # 1
Ok, so me and FI have finally started to for real plan. He’s getting involved more, which I love…. But he’s extremely “unique” in his tastes. I know its OUR wedding and not just MY wedding, but I just cannot get on board with his ideas.
For starters, he wants to wear this:
Which I would be able to deal with if I also got a renaissance outfit and we made it our theme. But he doesnt want a renaissance theme, he just wants the outfit.
Then he starts trying to help with ideas for favors. We had pretty much settled on giving out snacks as favors, since that would be pretty safe. But then he has the idea that maybe people would like arrowheads as favors! Because obviously since he likes them, then the rest of the people there would like them. So I asked him, what exactly would people want a random arrowhead for? He says “to make into jewelry? You could put it on a necklace or a ring or just carry it around in your pocket.” Um, yeah. No.
Then we were watching JTV and I saw a necklace that I liked and mentioned that it matched my e-ring and I could wear it to the wedding. So then he says “well if you get a fancy necklace, I want a crown or something.” NO. You are not a king and we dont live in mideival times. You are not wearing a crown.
So now he’s mad because I’m shooting down all of his ideas. I get why he’s mad, its his wedding as well as mine and these are his tastes. He likes to be different and stand out and have people comment about how “different” he is. I dont. I got picked on in school for being different and all I’ve ever wanted was to fit in. I dont want people to come to my wedding and talk about “why is he dressed like that? What is he wearing? Why the crap did they give me an arrowhead?” I feel like a bridezilla, but I’m honestly stressing about this so bad. =/
Post # 3
LOL, buy him that as a costume for halloween next year. 😛
Maybe it would help if you thought of some cute, unique ideas that are more wedding-appropriate, and then ask him what he thinks of them.
That way, he can still be ‘different’ and your wedding doesn’t have to look like a scene out of Robin Hood. 😉
Post # 4
@rachelmichelle: He doesnt dress up for Halloween. Trust me, I suggested it. He says he doesnt see why he has to have only one day he can dress up and people not judge him for it (including me.)
I found this outfit:
Its period clothing, but I think it still looks nice. And he loved it when I first showed it to him… And then he saw the price ($575) and suddenly hated it. I told him we could contact the woman and see if we could just buy the jacket and then he could find a similar shirt and black pants, but he said no. *sigh*
Post # 5
OMG….. Sorry, I don’t want to be insensitive, but this is hilarious! I agree with you, If Fi wants to wear that to your wedding then it should be a whole theme. It would look too random for him to wear that if you and your whole theme don’t match. And him wanting to wear a crown because you want a necklace is ridiculous, seriously.
Maybe you can get him a crown to wear just for fun in some pictures! That’d be cute if thats something he wants.
Oh, and the arrrowhead….why the hell would I want an arrowhead? I already carry one in my pocket, so a second one would be useless for me. lol
Hang in there!!
Post # 6
Hahahaha…. Oh girl I feel you. My husband and I had our fair share of nearly identical arguments except my husband’s idea of being a fashionable groom includes wearing a top hat and mine… well… doesn’t. So here’s what I did. I argued my face off about it, causing him to dig his heels in even deeper on the subject. He’s stubborn like that. Then I decided to let it go for a while. Let things cool down. I showed him some pictures of other ideas I had for the wedding. Centerpieces and decor and stuff. And then, like a month later, I “casually” showed him some pictures of suits I thought would be nice for him to wear, making sure to show him real life examples (because my husband can’t visualize anything), and sure enough he said “yeah, that actually looks really great and really goes with your theme. I like it!” and after that, it was as if the idea were his all along.
Post # 7
@allyfally: How about instead of talking about ideas (this doesn’t seem to work well with guys) you find inspiration theme boards that he might like. Guys are very very visual creatures so find a couple of cool ones that are up his alley and give him a choice – so he will be making a decision and helping out but those decisions will be limited to reasonable options.
Post # 8
@allyfally: It sounds like he wants some renaissance elements in the wedding even if he doesn’t want the whole theme. Maybe you could find some elements that you could incorperate instead of his clothes and see if he likes that instead.
Post # 9
@HeMadeMeWantTo: It would be hilarious to me too, if it wasnt my wedding. XD Unfortunately we’ve been going back and forth about this and I know he’s 100% serious with all these ideas, which just drives me bonkers. The only reason he wants this stuff is for the sole purpose of being different. Like he thinks being “normal” is a bad thing.
@peasantsong: I tried that, actually. I thought it was working too, until I saw him browsing renaissance outfits today and saving them to his wedding folder.
I’m gonna throw out the idea to have him in regular clothes for the wedding and then have a themed photoshoot for him later. Maybe that will pacify him.
Post # 10
@Treeline: Hmm. This may help. Thanks for the idea.
Post # 11
@nikkialys: I’ve already tried that, to no avail. He’s not interested in renaissance stuff, so much as he just likes their clothes.
Post # 12
I don’t think you’re being a bridezilla at all. His ideas are so…out there.
Post # 13
@allyfally: Can we switch FI-ideas? I wish my FI would say stuff like that… and wear something like that. A crown would rule, I’m legit suggesting this to him right now haha. I am SO JEALOUS of all the PP whose FI have crazy out-there style ideas and want to show it off.
I love “different” and have a slightly fairyish bent to my wedding day look, and I wonder if he’s not going to end up dressing traditional, just due to he’s too lazy to really find something good that’s out of the ordinary like that.
I get that it’s frustrating to you though, it’s not your style and you have a vision, nothing wrong with that.
Maybe you can find some compromise — he gets some kind of cool medieval *element* he can incoroporate into his outfit. Maybe some kind of gauntlet, or the vest on his suit can be leather, (sounds weird but might make an awesome textural thing) I dunno. It’s about saying no to the specifics but saying yes to a muted version of the image he’s got in his head. Tell him you respect that it’s his day too but the idea of being so out-there is giving you a lot of anxiety, so maybe you can find some in-between.
Consider giving him specific aspects of the wedding you don’t care about. Pick little things you couldn’t care less how they’re done and give him total control over them, to help him feel less out of control. It is his day too after all! A little “different” might be fun.
FWIW, if I went to a wedding and got a legit arrowhead as a favor I’d think that was all kinds of awesome. Me and your FI would probably be friends lol.
Maybe I’m weird…
Post # 14
- Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California
Haha this is quite funny [not to sound insensitive], but I am definitely on your side ;]. Can you maybe try to incorporate some of his ideas vaguely? Could he wear an arrowhead as his boutinerre [sp?] or is tnere room in your budget to have snacks AND arrowheads as favors? Sometimes with my DH I just have to humor him & he ends forgetting or giving up anyway or I try to turn my idea around to make it sound like his so he feels like he’s contributing & I’m not hurting his feelings. Good luck though!
Post # 15
Lol that is so funny. My FI teases about having a Star Wars wedding because our Wedding Date is May 4th (Star Wars Day . . . May the 4th be with you — *sigh*). But then again I wanted a Harry Potter cake — he said no– and I wanted to walk down the isle to Dream Evil’s “The Book of Heavy Metal” wearing Devil horns *sigh* again he said no. Honestly, we were only teasing with a lot of those ideas and I was able to convince him to let me have a vintage book lovers wedding because I am a total book nerd. Maybe there is a way to incorporate some of the things he likes without it being to weird for you. My FI wants to wear those old 1920’s zoot suits for the wedding so I let him. He also wants to drive up in an old car hanging out the window with his groomsmen with fake guns *sigh* we will see. Lol
Post # 16
@allyfally: Gotcha- What about a chain of office then? They were chains worn by knights, nobility and royalty to recognize great deeds and qualities- usually give by a close friend or benefactor. It’d be something period he could wear, a nice gift you could give him, and might even be wearable in the future as jewlery. A google search brings up all kinds of designs (they were highly personalized) so you can find something for almost any taste.