- 5 years ago
Hi, I could really use some advice please. A little background:
Dated Darling Husband for 5 years before marriage–in the beginning we were intimate all was great. But since I was his first and he comes from very conservative background he felt guilt and asked if we could wait until marriage. So we did. We got married a few months ago. Initially we were able to be intimate and it was fine (but I noticed he wasn’t really into it like before–now I know it’s because of physical issues). He had some ED issues and pain–I believe it’s due to some medication he took (and stopped recently) and now he’s waiting to see a specialist for his problems. He also admits to low libido–which is again linked to this medicine which he has since stopped taking. I’ve been doing research on it online so I am almost certain it’s all side effects from the meds
Darling Husband is super affectionate and attentive. But I noticed that when we do try to be intimate (I say “try” because we haven’t actually been able to for the past 1.5 months due to the ED issues and are waiting on the doc appointment), he doesn’t touch me there at all. I asked him why and he said he feels that since I’m his wife he would be degrading me or something. I don’t understand because when we were first dating he would ALWAYS want to do that. It hurts me so much. But he says that he will do whatever I want and wants to make me happy . But I don’t want to make him do it!
I really don’t know if this is linked to his low sex drive and possible low testorone or if it’s something psychological. I am not sure. I also don’t know if I should push the issue now or just wait until he sees the specialist in 2 weeks. I really just don’t understand because years ago we had so much passion and he was obsessed with being intimate. Everything else in our marriage is wonderful–but this is such a huge part that we are missing.
Please help me with advice. Should I be gentle and patient (until the doc appointment) or firm and persistent with fixing this issue even while waiting on the appointment?