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Pocket square is a good alternative for a splash of color. Our tux guy recommended that to us when my FH was unsure about wearing flowers.
Another idea is an unsquishable boutinneer. There are a ton of cool ones out there. Check these out:
(I love this one, but FH wouldn't go for it... maybe yours will?)
http://bklynbride.blogspot.com/2008/04/woodland-paper-fancies.html
(here's a simple fun unreckable flower)
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=10364441
I have also seen some cool ones made from buttons, but I don't remember which of the 100s of wedding blogs I saw it in!
Otherwise, you're right! You don't need one and can definitely skip it all together. I promise that none of the guys will miss it at all!
Our family are also huggers but we are still getting boutineers.
You could also talk to your florist. A boutinierre isn't a big thing like a corsage; if you use small flowers they can be essentially just out of bud, which makes them pretty hardy. Unless you have some seriously aggressive huggers it should hold up okay. If he just objects to flowers on general terms, a pocket square is also a nice idea. If he's wearing a tux and there's some color in the vest, or he's wearing a suit and there's some color in the tie, I would actually scrap the pocket square - particularly if you are going to have trouble color-matching.
We're considering using herbs as a boutonnierre. Some of them have very nice wedding symbolism and its a little more "masculine" than something frilly that matches the bridesmaid bouquets. If green is a part of your color scheme it could definitely work, but if it isn't maybe a pretty fall leaf, or feather or something else that can be pinned on the lapel that isn't as fragile.
How about a nice silk flower bout? It won't get destroyed and I'm sure you could make it yourself with fresh flower instructions online. Ribbon, gluegun, and whatever flopwer you want to use!
POcket squares are nice and can easily be mathce to your dress or theme, I like the look of pocket squares but my dear hubby wanted a bout.
ErinSea, I love that idea! Plus it will smell nice when it gets smashed. What herbs are you using?
Kjruddy, I just looked at the sheets from our florist, and the single rose bouts are $9 (double rose $12). So even if you just want it for the photos, and then it does get smashed or just taken off and set on the table, its not like you're talking a lot of money.
We are using a "kangaroo Paw" Check out the photo on page 13 (page 7 when viewing two pages at a time). It is on the bottom right in the middle of the boutineers.
http://www.ftdi.com/membermarketing/wedding.pdf
BTW, my bouquet is the one on the front! but with some different colors.
I learned a great tip from our wedding planner. She pinned my husband and all the GMs with the boutonierres on their right lapel. Then she told them to all focus on hugging to the right when people came in for the hug. That way, the bout stays out of the "crush zone".
Yes, it requires the guys to remember this, but it worked out well enough that the bout survived through the ceremony, our pics, and most of the cocktail hour.
But by the time we got to the reception, there were just too many excited huggers and it got smooshed but we didn't really care at that point!
Thanks for all the suggestions... maybe I should have made it more clear in my first post but I think he's more against flowers in general-not just the fact that it will get smashed in two seconds. I'm not picky at all so I think he'll end up with a pocket square in "ice blue" to go with the rest of our color scheme.
@suzanno, we haven't really decided yet, but definitely rosemary for its symbolism of love, loyalty and rememberence. Also he planted me a patio herb garden that has sage, thyme, dill and basil so we might just experiment and pick them straight out of there. Dill probably won't make the cut, too wimpy. I think I've heard something nice about bay leaves as well, but I don't remember exactly what they stand for.
Have you considered a fern curl? They look nice and not too floral. Even my non-flower loving FI likes them! They look great with some greenery.
http://www.camillaflowers.com/images/events/holder_fern_curl.jpg
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We have come to the conclusion that since both of our families are big "huggers", a boutinneer would be a waste a money since it would get smushed after the first hug. What other options do we have? I can only think of a pocket square thing...does he even need wear anything??