(Closed) Head, meet Desk! (E-ring mini-rant and general lament.)

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1332 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I don’t think it’s wrong or selfish because I’m waiting (rather impatiently) for my ring, too!  It’s a given that my guy and I are getting married, duh, and we already live together and have a child.  But I still want a real proposal and a real diamond ring in order to make it “official”!!!!  He’s been saving for awhile now, and we had a talk recently where he said it will be before the year is over.  I sure hope he’s right, lol.  Good luck to you, and I hope it comes in November for your birthday!

Post # 4
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

If it were me, I wouldn’t have even considered myself engaged without the ring. Well, I guess I should say, I don’t currently consider myself engaged, even though for all intents and purposes we are, since we’ve made it crystal clear that we are getting married in the near future. It was initially a, “I want to be with you forever and I want to marry you,” “Me too” talk a long time ago and ever since we just have considered it a given that we’re getting married, and talk about our wedding and future all the time.

I’d be pissed if he expected me to call us “engaged” before he’d given me a ring. I’m just very traditional and the ring is important to me in that aspect. If it were me, I’d just call him my boyfriend rather than FI, and give no indication that I felt engaged without a ring. Since you’re already way deep into planning, however, you can’t really pull that card. So I would just be frank with him and ask him to explain what his plans are for getting you a ring. If he tells you he wants to keep it a secret, just ask for clarification as to a timeline for when you can expect it. But, take a deep breath… and try to approach him calmly and lovingly. You are going to marry the guy, hehe. Best of luck.

Post # 5
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

It is not selfish or wrong to want a ring, but quite honestly…

…choosing rings out of his price range may be not the best way to get a guy to want to marry you. He may be thinking of what you will be link in the future if times get tight. Men seek supportive women, not someone who will pout over a piece of expensive jewelry.

And I hope you were joking about screaming and crying. Because that would be horribly immature. Then again, looking through his emails is not exactly the best of behaviors, either. Perhaps he is thinking twice about whether or not you are ready. Honestly, your behavior doesn’t exactly point in that direction.

 

Post # 7
Member
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@menobride: Agreed. I got engaged originally with a 25 cent mood ring, for god’s sake, and it was still special. (The actual ring came a month or so later, but still.)

OP, I think you need to just try to relax. I get that it’s frustrating, but you need to show support and maturity right now–not pout over a ring or lack thereof.

Post # 9
Member
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@Lassroyale: I was hoping you were joking! 🙂 Btw, can we see the set you’re talking about?

Post # 11
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Not wrong or selfish at all! I dont think I could have waited as long as you have. Have you tried pushing the subject? Maybe he just needs a wake up call. I had a little bit of a wait too…

FI and I picked out and bought my ring together. I knew exactly when it came in and I knew where it was hidden but I refused to so much as open the drawer.

From the get go we knew that we both still wanted there to be a proposal so even though we had the ring, it didnt mean that I was going to get it right away. He waited 2 weeks until the date that would have been his grandparents 50th wedding anniversary (papa passed away a couple years ago) and he proposed to me in the park. He asked my parents earlier that day but they knew the proposal was coming 2 weeks before. I can’t keep something like that from my mom!

Post # 12
Member
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@Lassroyale: That’s the spirit! Hehe. You get to marry him, ring or no ring at the moment. If money is an issue, would you be totally opposed to helping him pay?

Post # 13
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Lassroyale: Wait so, was he lying about having received that email then? FWIW, if he had said something like that to be to begin with, any worries I had of whether or not he’d be buying me the ring would have pretty much disappeared. Why would he say something like that to you if he wasn’t trying to indicate that he was going to buy you the ring?

The topic ‘Head, meet Desk! (E-ring mini-rant and general lament.)’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors